The Curious Case Of Blaine Anderson
by Jo.M.Tent
Summary: Bullying seems to be a normal way of life at McKinley for Kurt Hummel. All of Karofsky's football gang abuse him in some way or another. Well except for Blaine Anderson, who always stood in the shadows. His behaviour was unnerving, and becomes even more strange as Kurt and Blaine's paths begin to cross outside of school. Kurt was about to find out who Blaine Anderson really was.
1. Chapter 1

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BLAINE ANDERSON

* * *

Synopsis: Bullying seems to be a normal way of life at McKinley for Kurt Hummel. All of Karofsky's football gang abuse him in some way or another. Well except for Blaine Anderson, who always stood in the shadows. His behaviour was unnerving, and becomes even more strange as Kurt and Blaine's paths begin to cross outside of school. Kurt was about to find out who Blaine Anderson really was.

* * *

(Kurt's POV)

* * *

I'm the only openly gay student at my school which kinda sucks. It's not as though I can even attempt to hide it, seeing as I have a few "stereotype" characteristics. So my voice is a little high, I take pride in my appearance and live for glee club... so fucking what? I'm _not _ashamed of whom I am.

But in all honestly it can be pretty hard sometimes, finding the courage to just walk through the doors of McKinley. Barely a day goes by without some form of abuse being thrown at me, or an ice cold slushie - nice, at least their bullying costs them money. It was mainly directed from the guys on the football team. Dave Karofsky is the worse. If gay bashing is made into a sport one day he would be a top contender for a gold medal.

My fellow glee club members Finn, Puck, Mike and Sam were also in the football team but have pretty much stopped hanging out with the other players socially, choosing to hang out with each other instead, or the glee kids of course. But before they joined, Finn and Puck bullied me a little themselves, which of course was water under the bridge now that we were all friends and Finn was my step brother.

Here comes the weird bit though. The only football player who has never verbally or physically abused me is Blaine Anderson. But he's always there, lurking in the background. I don't think he's ever been within hitting distance to me. I can't deny that the guy is hot as hell though. I've heard he does a lot of boxing in the locker rooms. I may have had one or two daydreams of him all hot and sweaty, pinning me up against the tiles of one of the shower cubicles and... oh um, anyway...

The way Blaine looks at me sometimes is almost worse than the name calling and the pushing. It's unnerving, like he's trying to do some voodoo mind trick or something. I don't know what his problem is; maybe he thinks you can catch 'gay' if you get too close to one?

* * *

'Kurt is that you?' Dad called out as soon as I let myself into the house after school.

'Yeah,' I called back.

'Come in here.'

I put my school bag on the floor in the hallway and hung up my jacket on one of the empty pegs then walked into the kitchen where Dad was. He was sitting at the kitchen table, in the middle of peeling carrots and throwing them into a pan. I smiled to myself, Carole has been teaching him well.

'What's up?' I asked, pulling a chair out and sitting down.

'Don't make plans for Thursday night. And if you already have, cancel them.'

'Why?'

'There's a potential new client who is considering the garage to service all their company vehicles and the director has invited us over to his place for dinner. It's a big contract.'

'Right... so what has that got to do with me?'

'Well you're coming as well. While we were talking we realised both our sons went to McKinley... oh and Finn of course.'

'Really? What's the son's name?'

Dad stopped peeling and frowned in concentration. 'Oh, he did tell me... um... Brad? No that wasn't it. I can't remember now. But the father is Michael Anderson, does that ring any bells?'

Anderson? _Anderson_? Oh Jesus, this cannot be happening. Although to be fair it could be a whole lot worse, at least it wasn't Karofsky.

'It's not... Blaine is it?' I asked quietly.

'Yep that's the one.'

'I hate him,' I said without thinking.

'What? Why?'

I stopped myself from talking for a moment. Do I really want to go into the whole bullying thing with Dad? The last thing I need right now is for him to run up to the school making things ten times worse. Also, this contract is obviously important to him if he wants Carole and I to attend. I don't want to cause trouble by telling him the director's son is a complete homophobe.

'Just because,' I shrugged eventually. 'He's a football player and I _hate _football.'

'You know, if you just watched _one_game Kurt you might find it's not that bad.'

'And if you spent just _one _afternoon shopping at the mall Dad?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Ok, good point.'

'So Finn's coming as well right?'

'He can't, it's his cousins birthday.'

'Why do I have to go then?' I groaned.

'Kurt it's non-negotiable. Now grab yourself a knife and help me with the veg.'

* * *

The following two days at school before the dreaded dinner I saw Blaine a number of times, but he showed no sign of being aware we were about to spend an uncomfortable evening together in the presence of our families. But of course he knew, unless he lived under a rock or something. I wondered if he'd told the other football players. If he had, no doubt they were giving him advice on how to put salt in my water or spit in my dinner. Well that was something to look forward to I guess. _Not_!

So here I was on Thursday evening in the back of Dad's car, silently wishing we could have a teeny tiny car crash, just enough to warrant cancelling dinner and going back home or even a cautionary visit to the ER. But my prayers weren't answered and all too soon Dad was pulling up outside the Anderson household. Fuck, it was about five times the size of our house. Rich snobs.

'At least try to smile Kurt,' Dad said as we walked up to the door. He rang the bell and almost immediately it opened.

'Nice to see you again Burt.' Michael Anderson and my Dad shook hands. I could see a slight resemblance in Blaine and his father; they both had dark hair which they insisted on using gallons of gel on. 'Come on in.'

As soon as we walked into the house I spotted Blaine standing with his mother, but he didn't look in my direction at all. Michael closed the door and then it was my Dad who spoke first. 'Mr and Mrs Anderson this is my wife Carole, and my son Kurt.'

'And you know my son Blaine,' Michael said to me.

'Yeah sure,' I smiled. Michael introduced his wife Linda who kissed Carole and my Dad on the cheek.

'Well come on through to the dining room, dinners almost ready,' Linda said.

* * *

Dinner was a completely boring and dull affair, but I couldn't fault the food. The Anderson's obviously liked to show off their money.

Dad and Michael talked cars and football. Carol and Linda talked shoes and labour experiences. Apparently baby Blaine decided to come out arse first.!Yuck!. Blaine was sat opposite me and he never once looked at me but shot a few annoyed glances at his Mom now and again. He spent most of the time on his phone, probably texting his girlfriend or something. It was rumoured that he was dating a girl from the local private school. Public school girls weren't good enough for him I suppose.

Once the plates had been cleared away all the adults stood up, so I did the same, walking over to Dad and getting my hopes up that we were leaving, but no.

'Hang out with Blaine for a bit,' Dad said to me. 'We're gonna go talk business. Shouldn't be too long.'

'Sure,' I replied. They all made their way out and when I turned around back to the table, Blaine had vanished too. No surprise there. I sighed.

I looked around the room and a collection of photo frames caught my eye on one of the walls. Most of them featured Blaine. When he was a baby. Wearing his football attire. Smiling with his arms around his Mom and Dad outside a church. Ok, this was boring.

I went back over to the dining table, intent on getting some water, but the jug was empty. I picked up the glass I'd been using at dinner and walked out. It didn't take long to find the kitchen, but when I did I jumped out of my skin. Blaine was in there. He was leaning back against a kitchen counter, a mug of coffee in his hand. I walked through the doorway and cleared my throat.

'Do you mind if I get some water?' I asked.

'No,' Blaine replied, giving me the smallest gesture with his free hand towards the sink. He didn't look up from the floor which he appeared to currently be fascinated with. I went up to the sink and ran the cold tap for a few seconds before filling up my glass. I took a sip and then turned around to face Blaine. I should probably say something. But what?

'Um... you've got a really great house,' I said eventually.

'Yeah,' Blaine replied absently.

Jesus this guy was hard work. I know football players had a tendency to be a bit thick but this was beyond a joke. He could hardly string a sentence together. But I knew he wasn't thick, his grades were through the roof according to the gleeball guys.

'Your parents must be loaded.'

'Hhm,' Blaine muttered in response.

'I'm surprised they didn't send you to a private school.' Oh God I was completely rambling now. 'I really wanted my Dad to send me to Dalton Academy instead of McKinley, but the tuition fees are way too steep.'

'Right,' Blaine said so quietly I barely heard him.

'You know it's not a disease,' I suddenly snapped. 'You can't catch it.'

Blaine's head snapped up, his eyes locking onto mine for the first time that evening and an indecipherable emotion flicking across them. For some reason it didn't scare me, it concerned me.

'Sorry?' he said despite clearly having heard.

'I get it alright? You're homophobic, just like the rest of them. Only you don't even have the back bone to say it to my face.'

Blaine looked away from me, shaking his head and let out a tiny laugh. He drained the last of his coffee and then slammed the mug on the counter before storming out. What a jerk.

I stayed where I was for a while, drinking my water and wishing the time away so I could get home. I should have driven over in my own car, at least then I could just escape and send Dad a text telling him I'd gone. I finished my water and put the glass in the sink before walking out of the kitchen to find a bathroom. I figured there probably was one on the ground floor somewhere but I went up the stairs anyway.

Sure enough the first door at the top of the stairs was a bathroom. When I came out, instead of going back downstairs, I walked further along the corridor. Well, it was practically the law to snoop around in other people's houses right? But most of the doors were closed unfortunately. I reached the last room and I stopped dead. Blaine's room. The door was wide open and I could see Blaine lying down on his bed, headphones in his ears and listening to his iPod as he flicked through a magazine.

As I looked at him it occurred to me that Blaine had either shrunk to half his size or his bed was indecently big. It looked so inviting. I was just about to make myself scarce when Blaine looked up and caught me staring at him. Oh shit.

'What are you doing?' he asked shortly, taking his headphones out.

'Sorry... I was looking for a bathroom,' I blatantly lied.

'Top of the stairs,' Blaine replied.

'Oh right... thanks.'

I hurried off. Well that was awkward. When I got back downstairs I sat at the dining table for a while, browsing facebook on my phone. I resisted the urge to update my status to _Hanging out at Blaine's house, his bed is huge ;-P _But in all honesty I didn't fancy spending six months in a coma.

It was another half hour before Dad appeared, ready to leave. He looked pleased with himself so I assumed the business talk had gone well. I never saw Blaine again and but during the drive home I couldn't stop thinking about what an idiot he was. His girlfriend must be a saint.

* * *

A few days later I was walking to glee club after classes when I found myself pushed really hard into a block of lockers, face first. _Ouch_. Some books I was carrying fell with a thud to the ground. Breathing deeply and my heart racing, I turned around to see Dave Karofsky standing there, smirking. A few others were behind him laughing, and Blaine was at the back, just watching the events unfold and looking indifferent as usual. It was the first time I'd seen him since that awful dinner.

'Sorry _lady_,' Dave said to me. God I hated that word. 'I didn't see you there.'

I stood tall and just stared at him, praying the tears that were threatening to appear would at least wait until they were all gone. Dave walked off and the others started to follow. I bent down with a deep sigh and took my time to gather all the fallen books up, my eyes filling up with tears.

But as I stood up I came face to face with Blaine, who was standing right in front of me and within hitting distance for the first time ever. I flinched and instinctively moved backwards. But he was just holding out an A4 piece of paper which must have slipped from one of my books.

'Thanks,' I said, taking it from him. Blaine nodded briefly and then hurried away.

Well that was weird.


	2. Chapter 2

'It's Rachel's birthday on Saturday,' Finn announced as soon as we sat down to lunch in the school canteen. I'd wondered why he chose to sit with me today.

'I know,' I replied. 'I got her present weeks ago.'

He groaned. 'What should I get her?'

'It's Rachel; get her something Broadway related or a load of pink lotions to put in the bath.'

He sighed. 'Yeah I suppose.'

I laughed at his obvious anguish. 'I'm surprised she hasn't given you a three page list or something.'

Finn rolled his eyes. 'She wants to be surprised. We're doing lists at Christmas instead.'

'Oh right.'

'Hey do you think the Stix is ok for dinner? It's not like I can afford anything up market.'

'Surely her Dads are arranging something?'

'Yeah I didn't think of that.'

'Well how about you take Rachel to Breadstix for a light lunch and then in the evening-'

'Sorry to interrupt but-' Finn and I both looked up to see Blaine standing there, looking a bit awkward. I caught his eye and he quickly looked away from me and focused his attention on Finn. 'Um, Coach Beiste has called a meeting for after school to talk about the next game.'

'Ok cool, thanks man,' Finn smiled. Blaine hurried off and we went back to talking about Rachel's birthday. But I couldn't get Blaine off my mind; something was definitely up with him.

* * *

Three hours later as I was driving home, I was aware that at some point my phone buzzed. But it wasn't until I walked into the house that I had a look. There was a text message from an unknown number. _Hi is this Kurt?_

_Yes, who's this? _I text back, settling down on the sofa in the living room next to my Dad who was watching a game show on the tv. Maybe I'd won a competition or something.

The reply was almost instant and nearly made me drop my phone and curse out loud. _It's Blaine Anderson._ What the hell? Why was Blaine Anderson texting me? Before I even had a chance to think about texting back, another message arrived. _I got your number from Puck._

I was going to kill Puck for giving my number out. What was he thinking, giving it to someone who hung around with Karofsky? I'll probably have to change my number now; no doubt Blaine will be broadcasting it for all the other football players. Maybe they were all with him now, laughing.

I sighed quietly and sent a message back nonetheless. _Well good for you, I'll look forward to the abusive texts! Be creative, I'll be judging you out of 10!_

But Blaine's reply a minute later made me even more confused about the whole thing. _That's not why I wanted your number. I need to talk to you. _Talk? What on earth would we have to talk about? Maybe it was a trap; maybe they were all planning an ambush or a practical joke of some kind.

I should ignore him, delete the texts and forget about it. But I was replying before I could stop myself. _Do you think I'm stupid? I suppose Karofsky is behind this?_

_I need to talk to you. Just you and me. I swear nobody else is involved. Please?_

Again he sent another text before I could think about responding. _Do you really think if Karofsky had your number he'd be able to resist texting you? I promise he doesn't have your number._

I guess he had a point about Karofsky not giving up the chance to torment me, but even so it didn't mean this wasn't a set up. _Why do you want to talk?_

Now there was a pause. Blaine's texts up to now had obviously been typed immediately and with little thought. But almost two minutes passed before I received a response. _I'd rather explain in person if that's ok. I know I'm asking a lot of you and you have no reason to trust me… but please?_

_When and where were you thinking? Not that I'm agreeing to anything!_

_Do you know the Lima Bean?_

Lima Bean? That was a coffee place the private school kids went to, it wasn't a McKinley hang out as there were a few coffee houses nearer to the school than Lima Bean. Maybe it's where his girlfriend goes. But then why would he want to meet somewhere his girlfriend might be. Hmm.

_Yeah I know it._

_Meet there after school tomorrow? Or whenever you're free?_

Ok so he wanted to meet in a public place, not in a deserted alleyway or at school once everyone had gone home. Ok, this was starting to sound a bit more genuine and I couldn't help but be intrigued as to what he wanted to talk about. I was probably being foolish but I found myself agreeing to his request. _Ok tomorrow. But I'm warning you, if this is some sort of trap I'll be using these texts as evidence when I take you to court for harassment._

_Deal. See you tomorrow. Thanks Kurt._

'_Kurt_.'

I jumped and looked up from my phone to see my Dad watching me with a curious glare. 'What? Why did you shout my name like that, I'm right next to you.'

'I've been trying to get your attention,' Dad chuckled. 'You've been so engrossed in texting for the past ten minutes.'

'Oh, sorry.'

'Who are you talking to? Someone special?'

'Definitely not,' I scoffed as I inputted Blaine's number in my contacts under _Jerk_. Tomorrow would be interesting. Or I'd find myself in the ER with a broken leg or something.

* * *

Classes had finished for the day and I was making my way out of school to drive to Lima Bean and meet Blaine. I had butterflies in my tummy. Why was I feeling so nervous? There was still a chance I was walking into a Karofsky trap but at least the place would be full of people. Before I reached my car however, Rachel appeared and jumped into my personal space.

'Hey Kurt.'

'Hi Rachel.'

'So... has Finn mentioned anything about my birthday?'

'He might have said... something,' I told her with narrowed eyes.

She bounced up and down on her feet. 'Well?'

'Nah uh, my lips are sealed.'

'Oh come on Kurt, just a teeny weeny clue.'

'If you were so keen to know you should have given him a list.'

'_Please?_'

'No. N. O. No.'

Rachel slumped her shoulders in defeat but then beamed at me. 'Ok... hey, why don't you come over to mine, we can watch wicked you tube videos.'

'Sorry I can't today, I'm... doing something with my Dad.'

'Tomorrow?'

'Sure.'

'Bye Kurt.'

Rachel literally skipped off towards her own car. She had far too much energy for my liking, it made me feel dizzy. I wasn't quite sure why I was lying to her about going to Lima Bean. Blaine hadn't exactly asked me to keep our plans a secret, but the fact he wanted to meet in private at a coffee house not favoured by any McKinley students said to me that this wasn't something he particularly wanted broadcasted. Well that was fine by me.

I wasn't surprised that I was the one that got to Lima Bean first. So I ordered my coffee and sat down at a table. I only had to wait about five minutes before Blaine came through the door. He scanned the tables, spotted me, and walked over sheepishly.

'I wasn't sure you'd come,' Blaine said, still standing and his hands stuffed into his pockets.

'Well I'm here,' I replied lamely.

'Coffee?' he asked.

I held up the one I'd just bought. 'No thanks.'

'Right um… I'll be back in a minute.'

Blaine went over to the counter and ordered himself a coffee. I saw him reach a hand back to his neck a few times and scratch at the skin there. Wasn't that some sort of nervous gesture people did? Before I had a chance to over think it he was walking back to the table. He sat himself down in the chair opposite and started stirring his coffee with one of those wooden stick things.

After several seconds of nothing I decided that the ice needed breaking as Blaine didn't seem at all interested in doing it himself. 'Sooo what's this all about?' I asked, trying to sound light and casual. He was the one that wanted to meet after all. Blaine stopped what he was doing and looked at me. He seemed to be breathing quite deeply.

'Um... I wanted to apologise to you... for my behaviour.'

Well that was a weird way to start off, where the hell was he going with this? 'Ok.'

'I'm really sorry if anything I've done... or not done, has made you feel uncomfortable. And the way I treated you at dinner last week was... well it was totally uncalled for.'

I was completely taken aback. 'Wow, I wasn't aware you could talk in sentences Blaine.'

Blaine chuckled to himself. It was beyond cute. 'I guess I deserved that.'

'You know, you guys should really get a grip on yourselves.' Blaine furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the point I was trying to make. 'Look, just because your male doesn't mean every gay guy is out to seduce you or get you to bat for the other team... believe it or not being gay isn't a life choice; you won't turn into a "homo" because you go too near to one. Personally I'd rather die than date a football player anyway.'

Well, that was a lie. I would totally date Blaine in a heartbeat. It was just a shame he was straight and a first class knob head. Why did he have to be so good looking?

'Er... didn't you have a crush on Finn Hudson once?' Blaine asked with the smallest hint of a smirk. I blushed and wished the floor would swallow me up. Oh my God, was that public knowledge amongst the football team? I'm gonna kill Finn, right after I've killed Puck for giving out my phone number.

'Yeah... well... that was over a year ago,' I said in a hissy voice. 'And he's kinda my brother now so it doesn't count.'

'Kurt, I honestly don't have an issue with you.'

My brain was nothing but confused by all of this 'Blaine, I... don't really understand.'

'What do you mean?' he asked me.

'You're the only one who has never verbally or physically attacked me... even Finn and Puck did once upon a time... yet you're the one sitting here apologising? I don't get it. You could have just said all that in a text or-'

'Look Kurt, the thing is... I...'

'What?' I prompted, as Blaine trailed off and bit down on his bottom lip.

All of a sudden Blaine was on his feet and looking anywhere but at me, his coffee untouched. 'I... I've gotta go. I'll see you around.'

Blaine rushed out of the door and I looked at my watch. He'd been here less than five minutes. What the fuck was that all that about? I didn't even have time to protest his exit, not that I would have done anyway. Had he developed some sort of conscience against bullying? Maybe he was secretly meeting up with Tina and Mike next, to apologise for any Asian jokes that had ever been thrown their way.

Well one thing was definitely for sure, Blaine Anderson was totally living on another planet. But he was still hot as hell. Damn him.

* * *

A few days later I sat down to dinner at home and was just about to tuck into Carole's cottage pie (Finn was already on his sixth forkful) when Dad spoke.

'Can we all just pause for a second guys... there's something I wanna say.'

'What is it?' Carole asked, shooting Finn a glare to put his cutlery down.

'I've been invited to a corporate do this weekend and I said that we'd all attend as a family… it gives the right impression you know? It'll be quite a fancy affair so I want everyone to be on their very best behaviour.'

Of course that last part was directed at Finn and I. 'Will there be free food and drink?' Finn asked excitedly.

'Yep,' my Dad replied.

'Awesome.'

'No alcohol though,' Carole said sternly, pointing at Finn.

'Of course not Mom.'

I looked at Finn and shook my head. 'It sounds totally boring. A corporate do? A bunch of snobby old guys in suits talking about politics and pension funds? No thanks, count me out.'

'I didn't say you had a choice in the matter Kurt,' Dad said and I groaned. 'But Finn didn't go to the last one, so why can't I skip this one?'

'He has a point man,' Finn said and I beamed at him, grateful for his support.

'See Dad?'

'No. End of discussion.'

Great, there's my weekend thoroughly ruined. But at least I'll have Finn there this time.


	3. Chapter 3

I was sitting in glee club waiting for Mr Schue to arrive, and some of the girls were gossiping about their love lives. Tina asked Mercedes how her relationship with Sam was going.

'It's all good,' Mercedes said with a big grin, looking across the room to where Sam was talking to Finn and Puck. 'He's really nice.'

'Why did you keep it a secret over the summer?' Quinn asked.

'We just didn't want any pressure on us being another glee couple; we wanted to see how things went.'

'So he's definitely not gay then?' I added and they all laughed.

'He's one hundred per cent _not _gay,' Mercedes blushed.

'Are you seeing anyone?' Tina asked Quinn.

'No... but I have my eye on someone.'

'Oh yeah?'

Quinn smiled. 'Blaine Anderson.'

'He's pretty hot,' Mercedes said.

'I think we could be the new McKinley power couple. And I want that prom queen crown this year.'

'Um, doesn't he have a girlfriend?' I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. Quinn shrugged as though that wasn't her problem.

'She's some spoilt rich kid I think,' Tina said. 'Mike says they don't really know much about her.'

Mercedes laughed. 'Probably too stuck up to come anywhere near public school kids.'

'Blaine's a public school kid,' I said.

'Oh yeah,' Mercedes frowned. 'Odd.'

Mr Schue walked in then, putting a stop to the conversation. It was all very strange, Blaine having such rich parents yet going to a public school and going out with a snob. Maybe she didn't know what school her boyfriend went to. Hmm.

* * *

We were on our way to the corporate do on Saturday evening. Finn was sat beside me in the cab, texting on his phone. He had a goofy grin on his face.

'Can't you and Rachel not bear to be apart for more than two minutes?' I asked, rolling my eyes. He shrugged. 'Oh I forgot to ask you how her birthday dinner went?'

Finn looked away from his phone. 'Yeah it was cool, her Dads are... um...'

'Nice? Weird? Dull?'

'Different... in a good way. All three of them did a performance.'

'Oh my God,' I laughed. 'I bet that was amazing.'

We arrived at the place a few minutes later. It was obviously someone's house, but it was huge. Dad and Carole walked ahead of Finn and I, and started greeting people as we went through the entrance and into a large room with people mingling about and some old guy playing the piano at the far end. Finn was already eyeing up the tables laden with food.

'Right, you two,' Dad said, turning to face us. 'No trouble, no alcohol, behave yourselves and if anyone talks to you be polite.'

'Aren't we always?' I replied sarcastically.

'We'll see you in a bit.'

Dad and Carole walked off and joined up with another couple, who they greeted like old friends. Shit, it was Mr and Mrs Anderson. Oh great, did that mean Blaine was here too? I hadn't really seen him much since the weird Lima Bean incident, not that I'd been looking out for him. He'd gone back to his lurking ways. I'd thought about texting him once (or twice... or more... seriously who's counting?) just to ask why he ran off, but never quite got the nerve to do it.

'Dude, let's eat,' Finn said, tapping me on the arm. I followed him over to one of the tables full of food and watched as he piled up a plate. He was such a pig. He should weigh three hundred pounds or something.

Finn took his phone out of his pocket once he'd run out of space for any more food and looked at the screen before tutting.

'What's up?' I asked.

'I thought Rachel had stopped texting, but I haven't got any reception. I'm just going outside, back in a bit.'

Finn went back towards the entrance, taking his food with him of course. I looked around the room but I couldn't see my Dad or Carole anywhere. The average age of people was about forty to sixty. There were a few younger guests dotted around, but obviously nobody I knew though. I was just wondering where the drinks were kept when I heard a voice.

'Kurt... hi.' I turned around to see Blaine standing there, looking oh so dapper in an expensive looking suit. I has to force myself not to ogle. He had a glass of champagne in each hand and passed one over to me.

'Thanks,' I smiled, taking the glass from him. We stood side by side, watching the room. When I took a sip of my drink I grimaced at the taste. 'Wow, that's horrible.'

'I know,' Blaine agreed. 'You didn't look surprised to see me.'

'I saw your parents earlier,' I explained. 'So no, I'm not surprised.'

'Is Finn here?'

'Yeah, he's gone outside to get better phone reception.'

'Right. Rachel on his case or something?'

'Yeah. They're joined at the hip. She's pretty high maintenance but Finn seems smitten.'

'Lucky Finn.'

'Yeah, if you like that sort of thing,' I said, glancing sideways at Blaine who was looking down into his glass and seemed to be thinking deeply. 'So... your girlfriend not here?'

'Huh?' Blaine answered, looking up from his glass with a frown.

'Your girlfriend... is she here tonight?'

'Oh... um... no,' Blaine mumbled, looking away from me.

'Lucky her, this is _so_boring,' I said and Blaine chuckled quietly.

'Do you know how many of these things I have to attend?' Blaine asked me with an amused smile. I shook my head. 'Far too many.'

'Well, I don't envy you,' I replied. 'Blaine, um... why are you only willing to talk to me if we're away from McKinley and none of your friends are about?'

I couldn't help the question escaping me. I saw Blaine's grip on his champagne glass grow tighter. He moved towards me so we were face on, and looked into my eyes. I could see anguish there; he was having a silent, inner fight with himself about something. Maybe he heard voices? It would explain the peculiar behaviour.

'It's not...' he began quietly but then he sighed. He bit down on his bottom lip slightly and it made my heart melt. What was wrong with me?

'Blaine? What is it?' I asked.

'Please, let's not do this,' Blaine replied in a whisper.

'Do what?'

I suddenly felt a pressure on my right shoulder and turned around to see Finn, who was holding his own glass of bubbly. There went both our promises of avoiding the alcohol. Oh well. 'Man this champagne sucks,' Finn said and I laughed.

'You could stick to lemonade or something.'

'No way.'

I looked back, although there was no point, I knew what I'd find. Blaine had vanished. I'm seriously starting to think he's definitely mentally unstable or something.

'Where did Blaine go?' Finn asked, looking in the space where he'd been.

'Don't know,' I shrugged.

* * *

Two hours later Dad came to find Finn and me, we were sitting on a sofa near the entrance, both of us playing games on our phones. Dad said he'd ordered a cab and told us to go and wait outside. But when we walked out, I saw him straight away. Blaine was sitting on a low wall, head in his hands and two empty glasses of champagne next to him.

'What's the matter with him?' Finn asked beside me.

'Maybe he's had too much to drink,' I suggested.

'Do you think we should... go over?'

'No, he probably came out here to get some air. I say we leave him.'

'Yeah you're right.'

As our cab pulled up and parked a few minutes later, the noise must have jolted Blaine out of his thoughts because he looked up and his eyes locked onto mine. His hair was ruffled as though he'd been running a hand through it too much and he looked pale. I don't why, but I offered a smile. Blaine looked away.

We were barely five minutes into our journey home when my phone buzzed. It was awkward getting it out of my pocket, squashed in the back seat with Finn and Carole, but I managed. It was a text from Blaine.

_kurt im srry about earlier_

Judging by the poor spelling and grammar of his text, he was most definitely drunk. How much champagne had he had? I wasn't quite sure what he was apologising for but I replied anyway. _Don't worry about it._

_i panic. i dnt no what to say_

How was I supposed to respond to that? He panicked about what? My brain couldn't cope, I was so confused. Blaine should really come with an instruction manual or something. _No worries Blaine, seriously! Maybe lay off on the free champagne next time._

_why do u say that_

_Because you seem a bit drunk and you didn't look too good when we left_

_why cant i do anything wright? i always mess up_

_Get yourself a coffee, you'll be fine :)_

_i dnt deserv u bein nice to me kurt_

_Don't tell anyone it'll ruin my reputation._

_i relly ned to speak to u. i neeed to explain_

_We can talk next week. I'll see at school._

'There he goes again.'

I looked up to see Dad peering at me from the passenger seat. He was smirking. 'What?'

'You're lost in that little texting world of yours again. Are you sure it's no-one special?'

'Shut up Dad.'

* * *

The following evening I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water to take up to bed. Dad and Carole were sat at the table and once I'd turned the tap off, Dad cleared his throat. 'Um Kurt, can you sit for a minute.'

'Why?'

'We just want to talk to you about something,' Carole said. I didn't move for a moment, but then slowly sat down opposite them. They looked at each other before my Dad spoke.

'We just thought it was er... what I mean is we-'

'Oh my God your pregnant,' I suddenly shouted, looking at Carole.

'Gosh no,' she laughed. 'Kurt, what your father is _trying _to say is that we've never talked to you about... well, about boys.'

Now it was my turn to laugh. 'You can't be serious.'

Dad sighed. We are kid.'

'But I'm eighteen, don't you think it's a little late for that kind of thing.' Dad's eyes widen and I realised what I said may have sounded as though it was too late because I'd already done it and bought the t-shirt. 'No I don't mean… _that_. I mean I know all the stuff there is to know. It's not exactly hard to find.'

'Are you seeing anyone?' Carole asked calmly.

'No, I haven't got a boyfriend and I never have,' I said and folded my arms across my chest like a moody teenager.

'Then why are you blushing?' Dad asked sceptically.

'Because you're embarrassing me. I don't even know any gay people... except Santana and she's a girl. And her girlfriend Brittany is bi.' Dad and Carole looked at each other. I think they believed me, not that I was lying about anything.

'Right… well if you do meet someone or something, we want you to feel comfortable… you know… coming to us and um…,' Dad said awkwardly. 'We just don't we you getting hurt, we want you to find someone special who deserves you.'

I felt a lump in my throat. Despite the sheer embarrassment, it was something all kids wanted to hear their parents say.

'Ok?' Dad asked me.

I nodded. 'Ok. Can I leave now?'

'Sure.'

* * *

Tuesday afternoon. English class. Oh my God, it was beyond boring. Studying poetry? Seriously? Most of it didn't even make sense. My mind drifted off and I started to think about Blaine. I didn't receive any more texts from him after Saturday night, and so far he hadn't approached me at school to "talk" like he said he wanted to. Not that I'm bothered. I'm not ok?

The end of school couldn't come soon enough and with no glee practice I was keen to get home and monopolise the tv for the rest of the afternoon. I walked to my car and it wasn't until I was sat in the driver's seat and was about to start the engine that I noticed a folded piece of paper under my windscreen wipers. I rolled my window down and leaned my hand out to grab it. I thought it would just be a leaflet for someone's birthday party or something, but it wasn't.

_Lima Bean. Tomorrow?  
B_

A note from Blaine, and he wanted to meet up again. I stared down at his neat handwriting, taking it in. Why didn't he just text though? Maybe his phone was broke? Or confiscated? I pulled my phone out of my bag and sent him a text before driving off.

_Hi Blaine, I don't know if your phone is out of action but letting you know I got your note._

_My phone's fine, I just wanted to make sure my message got to you. After Saturday I thought you may have blocked my number or something. I'll understand if you don't want to meet._

_I'll be there, and you don't need to feel bad about the weekend._

_Thanks. See you tomorrow._


	4. Chapter 4

'That was a lovely meal, the potatoes were really delicious,' Rachel beamed as Carole began gathering up empty plates from the dinner table.

'Thank you Rachel, you're very welcome.'

I got up from my seat. 'I'll help you with the dishes.'

'No no,' Carole argued. 'It's Finn's turn tonight.'

'I really don't mind,' I said. 'Finn can pay back the favour another time when I want to stay over at Mercedes's or something.'

Finn smiled. 'Thanks dude. We're gonna go and watch that dvd.'

'Join us when you're done?' Rachel asked me.

'Of course.'

Finn and Rachel left and just as I was about to take Dad's plate he reached out and stopped my hand. 'Go and watch the dvd with them, I'll help out with the clearing up.'

'Dad it's really ok, I-'

'Kurt I'm giving you permission to skip housework,' Dad chuckled. 'Now get out of here.'

'Ok,' I smiled. After a quick bathroom break I went into the living room and sat next to Rachel. Finn was on her other side already tucking into a huge bag of popcorn which made me laugh. 'You do realise you'll both have to get very well paid jobs just to afford Finn's eating habits.'

Finn didn't seem to hear, his eyes glued to the tv. Rachel laughed. 'It's cute now, but when his metabolism starts to slow down... diet time.'

'Yeah, good luck with that Rach.'

'Oh Finn told me Burt and Carole gave you a "talk" talk.'

I groaned. 'It was _so _embarrassing. At least they didn't try and give me condoms or something.'

'They're just trying to be good parents Kurt.'

'I know,' I agreed. 'Doesn't make it any less awkward though.'

'Well just imagine how unbearable they'll be when you _do_get a boyfriend.'

'Well hopefully I'll be far away in college by then.'

We continued to chat quietly for a while until Finn interrupted us with a shush. 'Dudes, the best bit is coming up.'

I turned my attentions to the screen, but not really watching the movie. My mind was now too preoccupied thinking about my meeting with Blaine, tomorrow at Lima Bean.

* * *

I was making my way to afternoon classes when my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Blaine. _I can't come to Lima Bean after school, Coach Beiste has scheduled a training session. Sorry._

I text back _No worries_. But I was confused. Why was he sorry? I still had no idea why he wanted to meet me, what he wanted to say or what his agenda was. The whole thing could still be some pathetic joke or Karofsky trap. I guess just the fact that I though he was gorgeous had me completely intrigued and willing to put myself in potential danger. Life was dull, what can I say?

Maybe he just changed his mind about whatever was going on and decided to make an excuse. So when I spotted Finn by his locker at the end of the day I thought I'd double check. 'Hey Finn, are you going straight home?'

'No, got football practice.'

'Again?'

'Yeah. Our next game has been brought forward a week so we need some extra training.'

'Oh right, well I'll see you at home later then.'

I left Finn and made my way outside to my car. So Blaine had been telling the truth. I checked my phone to see if he'd sent another text, even though I hadn't felt my phone vibrate since lunchtime. Didn't he want to reschedule? Perhaps wondering how the mind of Blaine Anderson works isn't a good idea, I could already feel a headache coming on. I guess it was back to the waiting game then.

* * *

I was putting some stuff into my locker during lunch on Friday when a piece of paper fell out onto the floor. Picking it up, I was just about to put it back in when I recognised the handwriting wasn't mine. I looked around the hallway and then read the note that was written.

_Kurt,_

_Sorry I haven't text or anything since Wednesday and I know this is short notice but would you be able to meet me at Lima Bean after school today? I totally understand that you probably have plans with it being Friday but I'll be waiting there until 5pm just in case._

_B_

_P.S. My phone has run out of battery :/_

I had been constantly wondering if/when I would hear from Blaine again. I must admit by stomach fluttered at the thought of seeing him again, up close and not just a face in the crowd of the McKinley halls. I really needed to get a life huh? I folded the note up, put it in my bag and closed my locker. As I was about to head off to my afternoon class I saw Rachel, Tina and Mercedes walking up to me.

'Hey Kurt, do you fancy coming to the Mall with us after school?' Tina asked.

'My Dads are throwing a party for their anniversary in a couple of weeks and we need outfits,' Rachel said excitedly.

I was just about to speak when I spotted Blaine walking towards us from the other end of the hallway. His eyes met mine and I could have sworn he smiled, but it may have been a trick of the light. I tried to nod ever so slightly, hoping he'd take that as a 'yes' to Lima Bean after school. He carried on past us and-

'Kurt?'

'Er... sorry,' I replied, looking back at my friends.

'So?' Mercedes asked.

'What?'

'The Mall?' she laughed.

'Oh right... I can't today... um... doctors appointment for er, my Dad, you know?'

Rachel reached out, touching my arm which made me feel a little guilty. 'Of course. We'll send you photos from the store and you can tell us what you think ok?'

'Sounds great,' I smiled.

Three hours past and I once again found myself at Lima Bean, to meet Blaine for a reason that was still totally oblivious to me, but intrigued me greatly. Only this time, Blaine was there before me standing by the door. I had wondered if he would even turn up this time, so I was slightly surprised to see him.

'Hey,' he smiled slightly, both his hands shoved into his pockets once again.

'Hi,' I replied.

'Thanks for coming... I wasn't sure you'd get the note... but you obviously did, um... I thought I'd put my phone on charge last night but it wasn't even plugged in. Housekeeper had used the socket for the vacuum cleaner or something, I-,'Blaine paused and laughed, shaking his head. 'Sorry, I'm totally rambling.'

'It's ok,' I smiled.

'Anyway, I figured I owed you a coffee... after last time.'

'Third time lucky?' I teased and he laughed.

We went in and I told Blaine my coffee order, then went to sit down whilst he lined up. He did that neck scratching thing again when waiting for our coffees to be made. Maybe it was a habit he had rather than a nervous gesture? He walked over to me with two mugs.

'Thanks,' I said as Blaine sat down and put both his hands around his own coffee mug. 'So are you gonna run away this time?'

'No,' Blaine smiled. 'I seem to do that don't I?'

'Yeah, a lot.'

'Kurt... I'm so sorry about last Saturday... especially those texts. When I read them back on Sunday I just wanted to die of embarrassment.'

I was just about to tell Blaine not to worry about it, that his drunken texts were kind of cute, but luckily I thought before I spoke. 'Blaine what is going on with you? You talk in riddles... most of what you say doesn't really make any sense to me.'

'I'm sorry, I...'

'Hey, you don't have to beat yourself up over me,' I told him. I was still assuming this was somehow related to the bullying. I mean what else was there? 'I get it, you're part of the football team, one of the guys... you can't be seen to associate with the gay kid or... disapprove of the bullying. It's not as though we're even friends or share loads of classes... I don't need your pity.'

Blaine sighed and shook his head, looking down at the table. 'No, Kurt... it's not... that's not it at all.'

'Oh... right.'

I was back to square one. So what on earth was all this about then? We slipped into silence for a couple of minutes, both of us taking sips of our drink. Blaine was frowning; he looked like he was trying to work out a really difficult maths equation or something. Eventually he looked up.

'Um...'

Blaine looked around, taking in the scene and sighing when someone a couple of tables away laughed loudly. I had to admit it was pretty busy and quite noisy in the Lima Bean, school kids hanging out before the weekend starts.

'Are you ok?' I asked and Blaine looked back at me.

'Could we go somewhere a bit more private-'

Oh my God this was a trap, _I knew it_. He was going to lead me down a side street or drag me into the back of a van or something. All the football players were gonna beat me up and-

'-Just in your car or something.'

Phew panic over. I let out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. 'Oh... yeah sure, it's a bit manic in here.'

We finished our coffees quickly and then left, making our way over to my car in silence. I unlocked the doors and I got in and sat in the driver's seat, whilst Blaine settled himself in the passenger seat.

'Um, do you want the radio on?' I asked.

'I'm not bothered... unless you want it on.'

'No, I'm ok,' I replied. 'So...'

'Can I make a request before I... explain myself,' Blaine said, turning in his seat a little to face me more. I copied the position.

'It depends what it is,' I smiled.

'We don't really know each other that well do we?'

I couldn't help laughing and even Blaine smiled a little. 'Yeah that's a pretty accurate statement Blaine.'

'Sorry, it's just... even though we don't know each other; I can't help but trust you.'

'Oh, thanks,' I replied, trying not to smile too much. 'So what's this request then?'

'I have no right to ask really, but... I'd appreciate it if nothing that is said between us is repeated to another person.'

'Of course,' I nodded. Blaine was starting to scare me a little now. Was he about to admit to a horrible crime or something? Did he need help moving a body? Was I about to become an accomplice? Was my imagination in overdrive?

'Ok, um... well I guess I should start off by talking about my parents. They're religious, but not in the traditional sense. They just take what works for them from the bible and screw the rest. They're total hypocrites. Also they're both highly respected in their professional fields and they have... well, expectations... and strict guidelines.'

'About you?' I asked and Blaine nodded.

'If they knew... if they ever found out...'

Blaine had tears in his eyes now. I so badly wanted to reach over and hold his hand or something, but of course I didn't. My face and a black eye was so not a good look. Blaine looked so torn and miserable. This was clearly something he'd been wanting to let out for a long time, but I still couldn't see how any of this was to do with me.

'Found out what?' I asked quietly.

'They'd disown me Kurt.'

Disown him? What on earth had he done? Oh my God, maybe he got his girlfriend pregnant or something. Eww straight sex, don't go there. 'Blaine what is it? I'm sure it's not that bad.'

Blaine came over all shy and he looked like a cute little puppy craving attention. 'I... I've never said it out loud before.'

'Words can't hurt you Blaine.'

'I... I know, I'm just so afraid that-'

'You don't have to be afraid, I won't judge you. And I certainly won't tell anyone.'

I mentally added to myself that I would totally break that promise if it turned out to be something illegal. Blaine's eyes were wide and full of emotion as he looked at me intently. His hands were shaking. I watched him take a deep breath and close his eyes, just for a moment.

'Kurt... I'm gay.'

What?

He was...

_What?_

My mind was going crazy. Blaine was gay. Blaine. Was. Gay. Hang on, Blaine was _gay_?'

Suddenly everything made perfect sense. It was like finding the missing puzzle piece. The way he always looked at me in school, why he never bullied me, his behaviour at his house... etc... etc. He was looking at me like a frightened child, waiting for to say something or to react.


	5. Chapter 5

'Um... Blaine, is this some sort of wind up?' I asked quietly. Well I had to double check, even though there was no way he could have acted the anguish and despair he felt at telling me all this.

'No... I wish it was. I _really _wish it was.'

'The… the er... private school girlfriend?' I mumbled pathetically.

'Doesn't exist.'

'Right, of course.'

Blaine looked away from me now and stared absently out of the front window. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. I should say something comforting, try and make him feel better. I mean, he'd obviously come to me because he thought I could relate to him; understand what he's going through.

I cleared my throat a little and started rambling. 'Blaine... before I came out I was _so _scared... my Mom died when I was little and I'm an only child. My Dad is a mechanic, very much a man's man and for weeks I was terrified of seeing the disappointment and the shame in his eyes when I told him I wasn't the son he wanted. But I couldn't have asked for a better reaction... I mean, yeah he wasn't exactly pleased, but he loves me no matter what. In fact he already knew so I was worrying for nothing.'

Blaine looked back at me, smiling slightly. 'I've heard Finn talk about your Dad a few times during practice... he sounds amazing.'

'He is. It's funny; we're a lot closer since I came out. I think I distanced myself from him when I started coming to terms with it myself... coming out is scary for every gay person, even if you're a hundred and ten per cent sure your family won't even bat an eyelid.'

'I... I can't come out. I can't,' Blaine whispered.

'Maybe what they don't know won't hurt them? You don't have to come out to the whole world or anything, just... don't deny yourself who you are and what you really want from life.'

'These things have a habit of getting out though. The only way to ensure it doesn't is to...'

'To pretend you're not gay and live a "straight" life?'

'Pretty much.'

'That's... really sad Blaine,' I sighed. Blaine closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest. His brow was furrowed in deep thought. For a few minutes we just sat like that until he opened his eyes again. He shook his head as though trying to rid himself of whatever was in there torturing him.

'You ok?' I asked and he laughed. 'Sorry, stupid question.'

'Um, I better go,' he suddenly said, sounding tired. 'I've wasted enough of your time.'

'Hey don't be silly.'

'I'm really sorry for dumping all this on you Kurt; you've been so great and-'

'Blaine it's really ok. I've been going crazy trying to figure out what was going on with you. I'm really pleased you chose to talk me. Nobody should have to go through something like this alone. I want to help in any way I can.'

'Thank you,' Blaine smiled, his voice breaking with emotion.

'Do... do you want talk some more?'

'I er... yeah, if that's ok with you?'

'Of course, anytime you need to talk I'm here. We can go somewhere now if you're up to it, a quieter coffee place or something.'

'I don't want to seem ungrateful, and I want to say yes but... I'm just really drained to be honest.'

'Blaine, its fine. You've taken a huge step today. We'll talk another time. Just call or text me ok?'

Blaine nodded. 'Ok.'

He got out of my car and walked away. I took a deep breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Well that was fucking intense. Blaine Anderson was gay! And not only did he hang out with a bunch of homophobic idiots, he lived with two of them as well. Poor Blaine. I started the engine and drove home, all the while thinking about what had just happened.

I barely had a foot through the front door when I received a picture message, only then remembering about the girls going to the Mall. I opened it and found myself looking at a photo of Rachel in a hideous green dress with the text, _What do you think?_

'Oh my God,' I said aloud as I texted her my exact thoughts. Rachel's fashion sense was seriously off key, I didn't envy Finn having to trawl around the Mall with her. But I guess that was part of the role as a boyfriend. As I thought this I suddenly remembered about Quinn wanting Blaine as a boyfriend, so I sent him a text to let him know. _I forgot to tell you, Quinn is planning on asking you out._

I didn't get a reply from him until a couple of hours later, I guess because he was charging his phone up. _Thanks for the warning, and for everything Kurt :) x_

I automatically beamed down at the text from Blaine and my heart skipped a beat as I looked at the little x on the end. Was that official permission that I could start using x as well? How could one little x make me feel all warm inside?

Oh shit, was I developing a crush on Blaine Anderson?

* * *

It's been a few days since Blaine admitted to me that he was gay (and also staying firmly in the closet!) and although we hadn't spoken face to face, we'd had quite a lot of text conversations. Nothing heavy, just general musings about school and stuff. I would definitely go as far to say that Blaine Anderson was a friend now, albeit a secret one.

Finn and I were walking into school together and I decided to "casually" ask him about the football players. 'Finn, why don't you hang out with any of the football guys anymore?'

'Puck, Sam and Mike _are _football guys,' Finn replied, smirking at me.

'No, I mean the ones who aren't in glee.'

'Oh... well they're not really the type of people I want as friends you know?'

'Right.'

'And the way they've treated you is just so wrong. They're a bunch of homophobic jerks.'

'All of them?' I asked innocently.

'Yeah... well... maybe apart from Anderson.'

'Anderson?'

'Yeah, he never gets involved in the hate banter that goes on sometimes.'

'But you don't hang out with him?'

'No, he's cool and all that but he's always with the others.'

'Right... well I'll see you later,' I said once we reached my morning class.

Finn walked off and I was about to go straight into class when a loud bang made me jump and I turn around. Quinn was on the other side of the hallway and had slammed her locker shut with immense force. I spotted Tina by her own locker and walked over.

'What's wrong with her?' I asked.

'Do you remember Quinn saying she wanted to date Blaine Anderson?' she whispered.

'Yeah I remember.'

'Well, Blaine turned her down. Said he was happy with his girlfriend or something.'

I tried to hide my smile. 'Poor Quinn.'

I was making my way back to my classroom when I was suddenly shoved into a wall from behind. Luckily I managed to put my hands out in front of me so I didn't hit my face, but my books went flying. I turned around. Karofsky was smiling at me, flanked by his friends as usual.

'Tripped over your high heels did you?' he asked me but I didn't answer.

I automatically searched for Blaine's face, but he wasn't there, and I wondered where he was. Karofsky and his friends carried on walking and laughing to themselves as Tina appeared by my side asking if I was ok.

* * *

'But everyone loves a Finchel duet, it's our trademark.'

'Rachel, there's more than two people in glee club to consider,' Artie said with a roll of his eyes.

I was sitting in the canteen at lunchtime with Rachel, Finn and Artie. I couldn't stop yawning; classes had been so boring today. Of course the topic of conversation at the table was regionals. We all knew Rachel was more than likely going to get her solo; therefore the arguments were over the other two numbers.

'What do you think Finn?' Rachel asked, nudging him with her elbow. 'Don't you want to duet at regionals?'

'Artie's right Rach. We get one shot at regionals; it's not fair if most of the group isn't even on the stage for two of the numbers.

'I suppose you're right,' Rachel huffed.

'Maybe an all boy and all girl song,' Artie suggested.

'That would be cool,' Finn smiled. 'Kurt?'

'Um yeah,' I agreed. 'It's the last year for a lot of us and if we don't make it to nationals this will be our last competition. So it would be nice for everyone to have a moment.'

'I can't believe this time next year we'll be in New York,' Rachel said and then she turned to Artie. 'You'll have to keep us up to date with all the glee gossip.'

Rachel and Artie continued talking and Finn went back to concentrating on his lunch. I yawned again and was just considering going for a walk out in the fresh air when my phone buzzed. I was pleasantly surprised to see a text from Blaine. _Tired? :) x  
_  
I carefully lifted my head slightly so I was able to scan the room and saw Blaine sitting at a table with a few other guys. He was listening to someone sat opposite him but had his phone in his hand. _Spying on me are you? Stalker much? ;) Kx_

_Oops you got me. Guilty :X x_  
_Although I was sat here first, so technically you chose to sit in my eye line! x_

_I don't think that excuse would hold up in court. Plus I have text proof of your guilt, that's basically a written confession :P Kx_

_Damn you're good. I surrender Lawyer Kurt! x_

_So you should, I always get my own way! Kx_

_Is that so? Well I'll have to keep that in mind for the future :) x_

Oh my God, I could feel my cheeks getting warm. Was this flirting? No, it was just harmless banter between friends right? Why did I have to read too much into everything? I need to control my stupid hormones and emotions. But then Blaine sent another text that had me smiling like an idiot. _BTW I wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out at mine sometime over the weekend if you're free? x_

_Yeah sure I don't have any other plans. But what about your parents and stuff? Kx_

_They're in Washington and the housekeeper only works when they're home x_

_So my stalker wants to get me all alone in an empty house?! Hmm. Kx_

_LOL. Don't come then :P x_

_No I want to come *sulks* :( Kx_

_Ok you're re-invited :) x_

_Yay! Just let me know when and I'll be there Kx_

_Cool :) x_

* * *

From receiving Blaine's text about hanging out to Saturday afternoon I was full of excitement. I knew that there was a strong possibility my 'crush' on Blaine could get worse and worse if I kept seeing him, but I couldn't help it. Although he was a total closet case, I didn't know of any other gay guys around my age and it felt nice to finally have that connection with someone.

After spending a ridiculous amount of time getting ready and styling my hair I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where my Dad was sitting reading a newspaper and Carole was preparing a meal.

'I'm going to hang out at Blaine's house for a bit,' I said and Dad's head looked up from his newspaper.

'Blaine? Mr Anderson's son?' he asked, looking nervous.

'Yeah, why is that a problem?'

'No of course not. So have you two become friends then? Only you told me once you hated him.'

'Well I didn't know him then,' I shrugged. 'I thought he was a typical football player but he's cool.'

'Right... um he's not gay is he?'

'No,' I lied. 'Can't I have straight guy friends?'

'Of course you can. But I didn't think you hung out with anyone outside glee?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Why all the questions Dad? I just wanna go and chill with a _friend_.'

'No reason,' Dad smiled but I could tell he was keeping something from me, but I didn't want to arouse any suspicions from my side about Blaine's sexuality, so I left it.

'Have a nice time,' Carole said, smiling at me.

'Thanks... I'll be back by eight.'

I left the kitchen and headed outside to my car. On the way to Blaine's house I had butterflies in my stomach, what was that all about? Before I even cut the engine outside the Anderson house, Blaine was opening the door and waiting for me, with a big smile on his face.

'Hi,' he called out as I walked up to him.

'Hey,' I replied, resisting the urge to hug him. !Keep your hands to yourself Hummel! I told myself. I walked into the house and Blaine led me into the living room. I sat on the sofa and Blaine kept standing.

'Can I get you something to drink?' he asked and I could sense nerves in his voice. Why was he nervous? Did he think I was going to interrogate him or something?

'Um, have you got diet coke?' I asked.

'Sure, I can get you something stronger if you want though,' Blaine said.

'Diet coke is fine,' I replied.

'Ok.'

Blaine left and returned a couple of minutes later with two glasses of diet coke and a bowl full of potato chips. He put them on the coffee table in front of the sofa and then sat down next to me, looking at me with a shy smile.

'I hope you'll be more talkative than the last time I was here,' I teased and Blaine laughed.

'I was a complete jerk wasn't I?'

'Yeah you were,' I smiled. 'You know when you first text me I put your name in my phone as Jerk.'

'Oh God you didn't,' Blaine laughed. 'I hope you've changed it since?'

'Yep, it's just plain old Blaine now.'

'So you don't think I'm a jerk any more huh?'

'No,' I replied shaking my head.

'But you think I'm a coward don't you?' Blaine asked me. He looked so sad and vulnerable. I wanted to reach out to him physically but didn't know if he was ready for that kind of thing. Or if he ever would be. Blaine was definitely dictating the boundaries of our "friendship."

'No I don't, don't ever say that about yourself. I think you do want to come out but you're just... understandably scared. I mean, why else would you have told me... you didn't have to.'

'I can't come out,' Blaine whispered.

'You might feel differently when you meet someone,' I said quietly.

'I already have.'


	6. Chapter 6

My stomach dropped. Wow, I wasn't expecting him to say that. He'd met someone? How? When? Who was it? Had anything happened with him? I thought I was the first person he ever admitted to being gay to? I didn't want to bombard him with questions and make myself sound like a stalker so I just said something neutral to give him the chance to tell me nothing or everything.

'Well, I'm listening,' I smiled and Blaine blushed. It was really cute.

'Um, there's a guy I... really like...'

'Well that's a good start,' I laughed and Blaine scratched at his neck nervously.

'You know... my heart just goes crazy every time I see him and I'd _so _love to ask him out.'

Jesus, my jealously levels were through the roof but I smiled anyway. 'Why don't you then?'

'My hearts one thing Kurt, but my head... and my parents... it's just not an option.'

'Is this guy actually gay or... have you got a crush on someone?'

'I know he's gay,' Blaine sighed. 'Whether he would be interested in me I don't know, but... it doesn't matter, it's not as though I'm gonna do anything about it.'

'You won't feel like this forever. One day you'll be living your own life... job... home... a couple of cats, seeing your parents every few weeks and on holidays. At the moment they've got this hold on you because you're seventeen, still at school and still living at home.'

Blaine picked his drink up and took a few sips, with clearly a lot on his mind. I couldn't tell if he wanted to talk more so I stayed silent. Eventually he put his glass down and made himself more comfortable on the sofa, putting a cushion on his lap and facing me more.

'Kurt are you seeing anyone?' he asked me. Oh we were going there were we?

'No,' I smiled sadly. 'There's not exactly a lot of choice at McKinley. Finn suggested I try internet dating once, but that seems a bit desperate when you're only seventeen.'

'It could also be dangerous,' Blaine said, looking concerned. 'You don't know who you might be really talking to.'

'I know. Maybe if I'm still single at thirty I'll give it a go.'

'Have you ever... you know?' Blaine asked, looking away from me for a moment. 'I mean, you don't have to tell me or anything... if you don't want.' I briefly contemplated pretending not to know what he meant just to make him say the words, but took pity on him instead.

'No I haven't,' I replied with a shake of my head. 'I... well I haven't even had a first kiss yet. Pathetic right?'

'No of course it's not. A first kiss should be special, not rushed because you think you're behind on everyone else.'

'Have you um...' I started to say but trailed off; cursing myself. It really wasn't the ideal question to ask someone who was too scared to be who they really were. I was the only person that knew he was gay, of course he hadn't _been _with a guy. But to my utter shock, Blaine started talking.

'Last summer my parents and I went to this fancy dinner gala thing. After the sit down part I managed to sneak away and have a few drinks... I remember sitting on a sofa somewhere bored out of my brains when this guy just appeared beside me... we got talking... at some point it came up that the house was his parents... we had a few more drinks... he started showing me around the first floor and before I knew what was happening, we were kissing and ended up in his bedroom.'

'Did... did you sleep with him?' I asked, slightly breathless. Blaine nodded.

'I'm not proud of it. It was stupid and reckless. I was worried sick for weeks afterwards... did he know who I was? Did he know where I lived? Were my parents gonna find out?'

'What... what was it like?' I asked. I knew it was a highly inappropriate question but I just couldn't help myself.

'Um, well I was drunk, but... it was a bit awkward, quick, painful at first. But not entirely unpleasant.'

Blaine was blushing and he just looked so adorable. My mind went into overdrive. If it was painful did that mean Blaine was the bottom and it was the other guy who topped? I shook my head to try and rid myself of the perverted thoughts and I certainly wasn't going to ask Blaine to clarify for me. He was starting to look a little depressed, so I decided I should probably try and lighten the mood a bit

'This isn't fair, you're not even out and you've had more action than me.'

'Do something about it then,' Blaine laughed. He picked up a potato chip from the bowl and threw it at me, so I threw it back and he decided to eat it instead with a big smile.

I rolled my eyes. 'You're ridiculous.'

'Is that the same as cute?' he asked, tilting his head to one side.

God help me, he was way beyond cute! 'I'm not massaging your ego.'

Blaine laughed and then pretended to pout. 'Oh ok.'

'Stop it,' I giggled. 'You're like a little puppy.'

Blaine smirked at me. 'But puppies are like the definition of cute right?'

'Oh my God,' I whined. 'Let's change the subject.'

'What do you want to talk about?'

'Your hair.'

'What about it?' Blaine asked with narrowed eyes.

'Why all the gel?'

'Because it's _really _curly.'

'What's wrong with curly hair? I bet it looks nice.'

'Does not,' Blaine scoffed. 'Anyway, if my Dad saw me without my hair gelled he'd ground me for a month.'

I should have guessed his parents had something to do with it. 'Oh... so tell me, what's the real you like then?'

'What do you mean?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Well... you've created a "straight" mask for yourself right? I mean, are you even into football?'

'Not really,' Blaine admitted. 'I do it because it's expected of me, because it's "manly" and I happen to be pretty good anyway.'

'I always wondered why you never wore the jacket like the others do.'

'I wouldn't be seen dead in it,' Blaine cringed.

'Oh, so are you into fashion then?' I asked.

'A bit.'

'Is there anything you're really passionate about?'

'I like music. I can play piano.'

'Can you sing?' I asked excitedly. Blaine just shrugged.

'You should join glee club,' I said before I could stop myself. 'Even if you can't sing, it doesn't matter. Mike and Brittany aren't really "singers" but they're still part of the group and they're actually the best dancers.'

'I did think about joining once, when Puck did, but... I couldn't be around you.'

Ouch, that hurt. It must have shown on my face because Blaine started back peddling. 'I'm sorry, that sounded really rude... it was just... what if you caught me out? Or if you just knew you know?'

'Look, I thought Sam was gay when he first transferred to McKinley... and I would never have guessed you were. So I think it's safe to say my gaydar is shockingly inaccurate.'

'I thought Sam might be as well,' Blaine admitted. 'But he seems pretty smitten with Mercedes.'

'Yeah they're a really sweet couple. Well seeing as I know about you now, there's no reason for you _not_to join.'

'Hmm... maybe.'

'Have you got a piano in the house?' I asked with a mischievous grin.

'Yeees,' Blaine replied sceptically.

'Play me something? Please,' I begged.

'Oh I don't know about-'

'_Pleeeeease_?'

'Ok,' Blaine sighed, standing up and grabbing our glasses from the table. 'Bring the bowl.' I stood up and scooped the bowl of potato chips into my arms and followed Blaine out of the room.

* * *

Monday night and I was at Rachel's house, Mercedes and Tina were here too. We were sat on the carpet in the living room making banners for Rachel's Dad's upcoming anniversary party. They were really into Broadway just like Rachel, so our banners had musical themes. I was doing a Wicked one of course.

'Are you going to sing at the party?' Tina asked Rachel.

'I'm doing a performance with my Dad's which will be _amazing _and then I'm singing a song with Finn.'

'Does he know yet?' I teased and we all laughed.

'We've been practicing for two weeks,' Rachel said. 'Don't you think our voices are just perfect for each other?'

I exchanged an amused look with Tina and we both hummed non-committedly as Mercedes fought laughter and hid behind a piece of coloured card. Luckily, Rachel was too engrossed in finding the end of a sellotape roll to notice anything.

'So whose gonna be at this party then?' Mercedes asked Rachel, after several minutes of intense concentration on our separate banners.

'Well you guys of course, some family and a few close friends.'

'Let's hope it's not a repeat of the last party we had here,' I said with a groan as I unlocked my iPhone to check my messages, a warm glow filling my stomach as I saw a text from Blaine asking how my evening was going. 'I still feel sick when I think about it.'

'It was hilarious,' Tina laughed.

'I haven't touched alcohol since,' Rachel said.

'Who are you texting Kurt?' Mercedes asked and I looked up from the text I was sending to Blaine.

'Just... Carole. She's asking about a cooking recipe.'

I felt guilty for lying to my friends, but there was also a part of me that enjoyed the secret friendship I had with Blaine. It was something just for me which I really cherished. School was full of ignorant bullies, glee club was all about being in Rachel's shadow and my Dad had Carole now, which meant one on one time was now a novelty.

_I'm at Rachel's house with the girls although I should really be doing my English essay! I hope you're having a good night :) Kx_

* * *

The following afternoon was glee club time. Mr Schue came into the choir room, dumped his bag down on the floor by the piano and then looked up at us all, rubbing his hands together.

'Is everyone here?' he asked, scanning the room.

'Finn isn't,' Puck called out, but just at that moment Finn came through the door, looking very pleased with himself.

'Mr Schue, I've found us a new member,' he announced.

'Urgh, as long as it isn't Karofsky,' I whispered to myself, but Mercedes who was sitting beside me had heard.

'Of course it won't be,' she said with an encouraging smile.

'Oh, that's great,' Mr Schue said to Finn. 'Um… so will they be joining us today?'

'Yeah.'

'So where are they?'

'I told him to wait outside; I wanted to make sure everyone was here first. Suspense you know?'

Mr Schue laughed. 'Ok, well bring him in then.'

'Dude you can come in now,' Finn shouted towards the door.

My eyes widened as our new member walked through the door, looking extremely nervous and apprehensive. It was Blaine. I heard Quinn huff with annoyance behind me, but it didn't dampen my spirits. I couldn't stop the huge smile that appeared on my face. I know we had talked about it briefly over the weekend, but I didn't think Blaine would actually take the plunge. He stopped by Mr Schue who shook his hand.

'Blaine, welcome to glee club,' Mr Schue said.

'Thanks Sir.'

'Any special talents you think you can bring to the group?' Mr Schue asked.

'He can play piano,' Finn spoke up before Blaine had a chance.

'Excellent,' Mr Schue smiled. 'Maybe we can incorporate a piano in our regional performance next month.'

'Oh I don't think I'm that good,' Blaine blushed. I resisted the urge to call out that he was more than good. After all, he'd played the piano for me at his house on the weekend and he'd been brilliant.

'Well you can give us a sample later and we'll see how you get on. Please take a seat.'

Blaine took a seat next to Finn on the front row. I was slightly disappointed he didn't come and sit by me, but of course I understood there was no way he could have done. After a couple of minutes talking Mr Schue began writing some stuff on the whiteboard. I looked over at Blaine who was chatting quietly to Finn about something. Then Rachel, who was sat behind them, tapped Blaine on the shoulder and they both turned towards her.

'On behalf of everyone here I just want to give you a warm welcome to glee club.'

'Thanks,' Blaine smiled. 'I've seen a few of your performances, you're really good.'

'Thank you Blaine,' Rachel beamed. 'Just so you know, there's a party at my house this weekend for my Dad's anniversary and everyone from glee club is invited, so we'd love for you to come along.'

'Oh... um... thanks Rachel, that would be great.'

Blaine looked completely overwhelmed. It was adorable. Finn told him he had to go to the party and that it would be "awesome" because of all the free food and drink. Blaine said it would be a nice change from the dull parties he usually attended with his parents.

As I walked to my car an hour later my phone buzzed in my pocket. I stopped to take it out and smiled when I looked down at the screen to see a text from Blaine. To be honest my heart sank every time I got a text from someone who wasn't Blaine. Sad huh?

_OMG I can't believe I'm in glee club, this is insane! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings by sitting with Finn. I want to treat you to dinner sometime this week, please say yes x_

_I'm SOOOOOOOOOO pleased you joined! :) Don't worry about the seating arrangements, you know I understand. I'm just happy you're doing something you enjoy at last. You're on for dinner Kx_

I sent the text and then looked up and spotted Blaine in the distance standing beside his own car and smiling down at his phone. Fuck, I think I was starting to fall for him, hard.

* * *

When the next glee club came around a couple of days later, I couldn't help feeling excited. I was so glad Blaine had joined. I knew I was seriously crushing on him, but I didn't really care. Maybe I should, after all it can only end in heartache but what's life without experiencing the painful emotions as well as the happy ones?

In glee club we would have to act as though we were merely acquaintances and not friends who have three hour text conversations every night, but it was still nice to be in the same place together, doing something fun away from all the haters. I was watching the door of the choir room, waiting for Blaine to appear, as the rest of us (apart from Mike) were already seated. Mr Schue walked in, glancing around.

'Where's Mike?' he asked nobody in particular.

'He wasn't in school today,' Tina replied. 'Stomach virus.'

'Ok, thanks Tina. Right, so today we're-'

'Er Helmet Hair isn't here,' Santana called out.

'I wondered why the air smelt fresher,' Brittany mumbled.

'Sorry?' Mr Schue frowned at them both.

'They're talking about Blaine,' Rachel clarified with a shake of her head at Santana and Brittany.

'Um... he's gonna be late,' Finn said quietly and we all turned to look at him.

'Why?' Mr Schue asked.

'There was a bit of a fight straight after classes between him and Karofsky about joining glee,' Puck explained. 'He went to cool down.'

'Well I hope he won't quit' Mr Schue sighed. 'He's really talented on the piano.'

Puck just shrugged and Mr Schue carried on with the lesson, but I couldn't help the sick feeling in my stomach. I took my phone out of my bag and sent a text to Blaine, hoping that he was ok.

_Puck says you had a fight with Karofsky. Are you ok? Kx_

_It was nothing really :) I'm on my way to the choir room, see you in a few mins x  
_  
Are we still on for that dinner tomorrow night? We don't have to if you've changed your mind, I'll understand :) Kx

_Of course I still want to go silly, I'm really looking forward to it x_

_Me too! Kx_

'Who's the guy?'

I jumped out of my skin and looked up from my phone. Mercedes had leaned nearer to me so she could whisper whilst Mr Schue babbled on about disco something or other. 'What do you mean?' I whispered back.

'You just had a really goofy smile whilst you were texting. Is it a guy?'

'No... just a friend,' I replied, feeling myself blushing.

'Oh my God, you're a terrible liar,' Mercedes giggled. 'I'll get it out of you eventually.'

No she wouldn't, well unless she held me at gunpoint or something. True to his word Blaine arrived about five minutes later, apologising for his lateness. Mr Schue had a word with him out in the hallway, probably checking that he was ok. I was just so glad he even turned up.


	7. Chapter 7

After glee club I was making my way out of the school. I wanted to get home and go through my clothes for the dinner tomorrow with Blaine. I know it wasn't a date or anything, just two friends getting food, but I still wanted to make an effort.

'Dude, are you driving home?' Finn asked, catching me up outside.

'Yeah, why?'

'Could you drop me off at the Mall on your way?' he smiled.

'What's wrong with your car?'

'Mom dropped me off this morning.'

'Right.'

'So?'

'I suppose,' I sighed.

'Awesome, thanks.'

'But how will you get back from the Mall?'

'I'm meeting Rachel there, so she can drop me home.'

'So why am I driving you?' I asked as we stopped by my car.

'Well she's going home first and you know... her Dad's will be there.'

'But you've met them before... and we're going to their anniversary party this weekend.'

'I know, it's just I haven't seen them since we got back together after I broke up with Quinn.'

I shook my head at him. 'So how long until you break up with Rachel to go _back _to Quinn?'

'No dude, this is it for me now.'

'Really?'

'Yeah,' Finn smiled.

'Oi Hudson.'

We both looked up at the voice to see Karofsky walking towards us, looking as mad as hell. 'What do you want?' Finn asked him in a bored tone.

'Was it you who brain washed Anderson into joining your little fairy club?' Karofsky demanded when he reached us.

'Dude, give it a rest.'

'What are you trying to do, turn the whole football team into a bunch of fucking girls? Anderson's one of the real guys and I won't let you-'

'It's none of your business what Blaine does,' I shouted before I could stop myself. Karofsky took a few steps towards me, looking mad.

'I wasn't talking to you homo.'

'That's enough,' Finn said, stepping between us. 'And Kurt's right, Blaine can do what he wants. Get over it.'

'This _isn't _over,' Karofsky hissed and he took one final look at both of us before storming off.

'Thanks for sticking up for me,' I said quietly.

'No problem bro,' Finn smiled. 'Us Hudmel's got to stick together right?'

'Hudmel's?'

'Yeah, it's cool don't you think?'

'Er... no. So what's Karofsky's problem with Blaine anyway?'

'I think he liked... well _likes _having power over guys in the football team. Blaine isn't really a Puck type... but who cares.'

'What do you mean he's not a Puck type?'

'Well he's pretty short compared to most of the football guys, he's quiet, non-threatening...'

'_And sex on a stick_,' I mentally added.

'Anyway, let's go,' I said, pulling my car keys from my bag.

* * *

Blaine and I were in the restaurant the following evening. I'd been a bag of nerves all day, looking forward to such a 'couple type' evening with Blaine. He'd picked me up from my house (although parked just down the street of course). It was a thirty minute drive and I didn't comment on why we'd gone so far, because I knew why. Blaine wanted to minimise the risk of us being seen together by someone he knew. But I didn't mind, I understood and was just so happy to be spending time with him alone and to everyone else in the restaurant it may even look like we're on a date which gave me a little thrill.

My first thought as I looked down at the menu however, was how bloody expensive it was. I know Blaine _said_ he wanted to take me to dinner, but I didn't want to just assume he was paying for the whole thing. I was totally willing to pay my half. I mean, it wasn't as though this _was _a date or anything.

'What have you decided on?' Blaine asked, looking over to me.

'Um... probably the salad,' I replied, looking up from the menu to meet his eyes.

'And for main?'

'Oh I meant the main salad.'

'Aren't you hungry?'

'N-not really.'

'Kurt, what's going on?' Blaine smiled.

'Nothing,' I lied. But Blaine just kept staring at me, waiting for the real answer. I looked away from him, feeling embarrassed. 'I just... don't have much money on me... that's all.'

'Kurt I'm paying, have whatever you want.'

'But it's really expensive Blaine, I can't let you pay for-'

'Yes you can,' Blaine interrupted. 'What's the point of getting a ridiculously generous allowance if I can't share it with my friends? I've hardly worked for it, the money comes straight from my parents bank account.'

Well I guess he had a point. 'Are you sure?'

'_Kuuurt_.'

'Ok,' I conceded and went back to looking at the menu, this time feeling more relaxed about it. 'But I'm buying next time.'

'Next time?'

'Oh I... it's just... a figure of speech,' I mumbled whilst Blaine was smirking at me. 'Anyway, um... what are you having?'

'I think I'll have the cesear salad and then the steak.'

'Have you been here before?' I asked as Blaine closed his menu and put it down on the table.

'A couple of times. It's nice without being too snobby. Most of the restaurants my parents take me to are all that silver service rubbish.'

'So fine dining hasn't rubbed off on you then?'

'No,' Blaine chuckled. 'I think it's fair to say my parents have failed miserably in bringing me up.'

'Thank god, I don't think I could be friends with a snob.'

Blaine smiled warmly at me. 'Lucky me then.'

The waitress came over to take out order and then we slipped into small talk. It wasn't until our starters arrived that I decided to bring up the topic of Karofsky and their fight about glee club.

'So what did Karofsky have to say about your new hobby then?'

Blaine took his time taking a sip of his drink before looking over at me with a sad expression. He shrugged his shoulders and muttered, 'Nothing much.'

'Nothing much? Puck said there was a fight and then you went awol before glee club.'

'It's just... some of the things he said.'

'That glee was girly... gay?' I suggested off the top of my head.

'Along those lines, yeah.'

'You must have heard him say stuff like that hundreds of times in the locker room.'

'Yeah... overhearing is one thing... but having something shouted at your face is another.'

'You're not gonna quit are you?' I whispered.

'No,' Blaine smiled. 'I have Finn, Puck, Mike and Sam in glee and football, I should be ok. Karofsky's just pissed I didn't quite turn out to be the follower he'd pegged me as.'

'Finn said something along those lines too, that Karofsky likes having power.'

'Yeah, but the older we get the less enthusiasm we have for high school football. Especially the seniors, they start worrying more about grades and college.'

'So you're glad you've fallen out with him?'

'In a way yeah. It'll be nice to hang out with the other guys again.'

I don't know if Blaine realised, but those words really hurt. He wanted to hang out with the guys again, only it wouldn't be in secret like our friendship was. Was what we had even a friendship for him? Maybe he just wanted a token gay friend regardless of who it was?

'Are you ok?'

I jumped slightly and looked over to see Blaine watching me curiously. I must have been staring off into space. 'Fine,' I smiled. 'So... why do you go to McKinley?'

'What do you mean?' Blaine asked with a slight frown.

'Well your parents are loaded. Why aren't you at a private school?'

'Oh right, actually I did want to enrol into Dalton Academy, and my best friend from childhood goes there. But my Dad said those types of schools "breed homosexuality" and it wasn't an environment I should be subjected to.'

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Blaine laughed too. I briefly wondered if I should bring up the subject of Blaine 'coming out' again, but figured it wasn't the right time, what with the Karofsky incident. But I wasn't going to give up; I wanted Blaine to be himself, to stop hiding behind other people's ignorance.

'Blaine, I know we only became friends because you thought I'd understand and relate to your... well, anyway, I just want to say... I really enjoy hanging out with you.'

'Me too,' Blaine replied, and I so wanted to believe him but I just wasn't sure.

* * *

'But last time you went to a party at Rachel's you all got drunk and had huge hangovers the next day.'

I glared at my Dad. 'How many times do I have to tell you that it's her Dad's party? They'll be so many adults there none of us would even get away with sneaking alcohol in.'

'Hmm,' Dad muttered, and he folded his arms across his chest.

'Burt there's no need to worry,' Carole said, coming to mine and Finn's defence. 'Kurt's driving and I've spoken to one of Rachel's Dad's and the party is finishing at half eleven.'

'Well... any bother and you'll be grounded for a year.'

'Yes Dad,' I replied with a roll of my eyes. 'Can I go now? The party will be finished by the time I get there.'

'Sure.'

'Have fun,' Carole smiled.

I finally made it out of the house and drove over to Rachel's house. I was most excited about seeing Blaine, although a small part of me wondered if he'd even turn up. One of Rachel's aunts let me in and I found some of the glee guys sitting together in the living room.

'Hey guys, am I the last one to turn up?'

'Puck and Blaine haven't arrived yet,' Sam said.

It was only another ten minutes before Puck arrived, but as the minutes ticked by I was convinced Blaine would be a no show but eventually he appeared, alongside Rachel who had let him in. I was standing by the food at this time and watched as Rachel introduced Blaine to her Dad's. I stayed where I was and a few minutes later Blaine came over and grabbed a plate and started eyeing up the food.

'Hi,' he said with a quick sideways glance at me and the sweetest smile.

'Hey... I'm glad you came,' I whispered, putting some things on my own plate.

'Me too,' he whispered back.

Suddenly the music which has so far been quiet and in the background was pumped up in volume and people began dancing. Rachel dragged a reluctant Finn from his chair and both Blaine and I laughed at the same time. I could see Blaine fiddling about with his phone and then I felt my own phone vibrate in my pocket. _I wish I could dance with you x_

I swallowed thickly and could feel Blaine's eyes on me but I didn't dare look at him as I'd probably become too emotional and then how would that look to everyone in the room? Instead, I sent Blaine a reply and walked off. _Meet me in the garden in 5 mins via the door in the kitchen Kx_

I went to use the bathroom and made sure nobody noticed as I entered the kitchen and through the door into the garden. I didn't have to wait long; Blaine appeared in the garden taking in his surroundings. I waved from where I was and when he noticed me he walked over. I led him a little further where we'd have complete privacy, but could still hear the music coming from the house.

'Luring me into the bushes Kurt? Kinky.'

I laughed and held my hand out. 'Would you like to dance?'

'I'd love to.'

Blaine took my hand and we melted into each other like butter as we swayed to the beat of the music in the distance. This was perfect. Blaine's body pressed lightly against mine, our hands connected as one and he smelled amazing. Even the slight chill in the air couldn't dampen my spirits. This was what romance was. I so wanted to rest my chin on his shoulder, close my eyes and just pretend this was real.

'This is nice,' Blaine said quietly and I felt my stomach do somersaults.

'Yeah,' I replied.


	8. Chapter 8

All too soon for my liking Blaine stepped out of hold saying we should get back to the house before people start to notice we're missing. I felt the chill hit me now I didn't have Blaine's warmth protecting me. I went back first and headed straight to the bathroom for a moment to compose myself. _Fuck, this crush on Blaine was getting out of hand._

As the evening progressed, I didn't really see much of Blaine. More people arrived and it became chaotic with everyone spreading out around the house. I was in Rachel's room chatting with Sam, Mike, Mercedes, Tina and Quinn when Finn came in looking harassed.

'There you lot are… Blaine and Puck are wasted.'

'What? How?' Sam asked.

'I dunno dude, one of them must have got some alcohol from somewhere.'

'Well we can't let Rachel's Dad's see,' Quinn said. 'They'll probably blame all of us and tell our parents.'

'And after last time we had a party here we're already in our parents bad books,' Tina added.

'Where are they?' I asked Finn.

'Outside the front of the house. I found them when I went to get something out of my car.'

'Well... we'll have to get them home.'

'My Mom dropped me off,' Quinn said. 'I don't have a car.'

It turned out that Mike and Tina were also dropped off by their Moms, Sam had come with Finn and Puck and Mercedes was staying over so Rachel had picked her up earlier in the day. So that just left me and Finn with cars.

'Ok, well… Finn you can take Puck and I'll take Blaine,' I said.

Finn looked confused. 'Do you know where he lives?'

_Oh shit. _'No but... well surely he's not too drunk to give an address? Or I'll just call home from his phone or something.'

'Right... ok let's go then.'

I followed Finn downstairs, leaving the others in Rachel's room. We didn't want to rouse suspicions by so many of us leaving the house at once. Sure enough outside the front of the house, Puck and Blaine were sitting on the ground, laughing and clearly intoxicated. I felt a little uneasy, knowing that Blaine and alcohol really wasn't a good mix.

'Dude, I'm taking you home,' Finn said, going straight up to Puck and lifting him up.

'Duuude what are you-'

'We're going to my car.'

Finn led Puck over to his car and I could hear Puck's mumbled protests but Finn managed to get him in the passenger seat. I turned to Blaine who was watching them with a frown on his face. 'Do you need help?' Finn called over to me.

'No I'll be fine.'

'Kuuurt... hey Kurt, where have you been?'

'Nowhere, I-'

'Come... come sit with me.'

Blaine patted the ground next to him and gave me a cheeky smile which made me feel all fuzzy for a moment. 'Another time Blaine, now come on we have to go.'

'Go?'

'Yes.'

I put my hand out and Blaine stared at me for a few seconds before lifting his own hand to mine. I pulled him up and he crashed into me, giggling. Wow, he really did smell amazing. 'You're pretty,' he whispered into my ear and my brain completely shut down for a second. My heart was racing and my mouth had gone completely dry. _Focus Kurt._

'You're drunk Blaine, come on I'm taking you home.'

'But you're pretty,' Blaine repeated and the temptation to just kiss him was all too much. Blaine's eyes darted between my own and I could have sworn he was about to lean in, but then he stepped backwards and fell over onto the gravel. More laughing occurred as I picked him back up and guided him over to my car. Thankfully I needed little effort to get him seated and belted up. As soon as I shut the passenger door Finn started up his car and drove away.

I took a moment to take a deep breath before going round to the driver's side. When I got in the car, Blaine was resting his head against the window in a defeated position and staring straight ahead. 'Are you ok?'

'Mmhm,' was all he said. I started up the engine and we drove in silence all the way to his house. I pulled up at the end of his driveway and looked over at him.

'We're here.' Blaine took his seatbelt off, sat up properly and looked outside. 'I'll text you tomorrow and I'll see you at school on Monday?'

'Yeah... yeah,' Blaine said, not even looking at me. He opened the door and got out of my car and I watched as he walked up his drive, stumbling a bit here and there. Once I saw him reach the front door I drove off, my eyes stinging with unshed tears.

* * *

_How's the head today? Kx  
__Are you ok? I hope you're not feeling too sick. Kx  
__Blaine? Kx  
__Are you ignoring me? Have I done something? Kx_

It wasn't until the evening that Blaine finally responded to me. Part of me was furious with him for not letting me know he was ok sooner, but part of me was also relieved and excited to hear from him. I was in the living room watching tv with Dad, Carole and Finn when his text arrived.

_I'm fine. Sorry I didn't reply before, just feeling embarrassed I guess x_

_Embarrassed? You don't need to feel like that, so you got a bit tipsy at a party so what? Puck did as well and according to Finn he's been throwing up all day. Kx_

_But I shouldn't have got drunk that's the point. I shouldn't need to. And it wasn't fair you missing the fun to escort me home x_

_Hey stop being so silly, I was only gone about twenty minutes. The only reason we had to take you both home was in case Rachel's folks saw you anyway :) Kx  
What do you mean you shouldn't need to get drunk? Kx_

_Puck said he had vodka on him and I just instantly wanted to get wasted. It was like I had no control over it. But it helps block out the real world, helps me forget for a while x_  
_Thank you for being there for me. You're the best x_

I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried not to let myself get too emotional, because despite how down Blaine got about himself, things would get better right? I wondered if he remembered what he said to me yesterday, what he whispered in my ear. Probably not.

* * *

'So…' Mr Schue began, and he was looking directly at Blaine. We were at our first glee club since the weekend. '…I thought we could start today by seeing what talents Blaine has to offer.'

I couldn't see his face from where I was sitting today but Blaine did that neck scratching thing again. 'I already played the piano last week.'

'I mean singing talents,' Mr Schue smiled.

'Oh, I don't know about that,' Blaine laughed, sounding nervous.

'Come on, nobody will judge you,' Puck said.

'I totally will,' Santana called out. 'If you're crap, I'll tell you to your face.'

'Um, thanks,' Blaine replied quietly.

'Don't worry if you're no good,' Rachel told Blaine in a slightly patronising tone. 'There's nothing wrong with singing in the background during my solos.'

'Just give us a little teaser,' Mr Schue said.

'I'm happy to be in the background,' Blaine smiled, putting his hands up in a surrender gesture.

As Mr Schue and several of the others continued to egg Blaine on, I noticed that Blaine reached into his pocket and took his phone out. Then a few seconds later I received a one worded text from him.

_HELP_

'I could play guitar whilst you play the piano,' Puck was saying to Blaine. 'We'd totally rock.'

'Um…,' Blaine started to say but I shouted over him.

'Er, Mr Schue?' I called, putting my hand up and waving it enthusiastically.

'Yes Kurt?'

'Can Rachel and I do that Wicked number you've been promising us for the past couple of weeks?'

'Er... I guess,' Mr Schue replied when Rachel was already on her feet and beckoning me to come and stand beside her. My distraction had worked. As I walked over, I felt nervous though. This was the first time I would be singing with Blaine watching me from six feet away. There was no way I could look at him.

When I sat back down after the performance, I checked me phone. As if by instinct I knew there would be a message from Blaine. _Thank you so much for saving me :) You were amazing btw. If you're free do you want to grab a coffee on the way home? x_

_Coffee sounds great. Meet you at LB. Kx_

* * *

'Are you ok after Saturday?' I asked Blaine as we sat down at a table in Lima Bean with our coffees.

'Yeah I'm fine,' Blaine shrugged. 'I'm sorry again for being… you know.'

'Don't worry about it.'

'I had a good time though,' Blaine said with a smile that melted my heat.

'Good… so why didn't you want to sing today in glee? You can't be any worse than Mike or Brittany.'

'I've never sang in front of people before. I'm a bit shy I guess.'

'Aww,' I teased and Blaine blushed. 'Well, how about you sing to me some time? I can tell you if you're worthy enough to sing in front of the glee crowd.'

'Hmm, I'll think about it.'

Somebody was having trouble walking behind me so I moved my chair closer to Blaine's to get out of the way, but my arm knocked the table, spilling some of Blaine's coffee everywhere.

'Oh shit,' I gasped. 'Sorry Blaine, I'm so clumsy.'

'Don't worry about it,' he laughed. 'It's only coffee.'

'I'll just get some napkins.' I stood up and was walking over to grab the napkins when somebody spoke behind me.

'Excuse me?'

I turned around to see a guy of about my age standing before me and looking into my eyes. So he definitely wanted me then. He was a bit taller than me, short light brown hair, blue eyes and he wearing a school uniform. He was cute.

'Yes?' I replied with a friendly smile. He looked a little nervous.

'I'm not usually this... forward, and I don't mean any offence if I've got this all wrong, but... the guy you're sitting with, is he your boyfriend?'

Oh my God, this guy wanted to ask Blaine out. If it wasn't so tragic it would be funny. At least he hadn't approached Blaine first, that would have been all kinds of awkward for him.

'He's not gay,' I blurted out quickly. 'He wouldn't be interested, sorry.'

'No, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick,' he smiled and I just stared at him. What was he getting at? Then what he said made my heart race with excitement and fear. 'I was actually hoping you would be interested.'

'Me?' I whispered and I felt myself blushing like an idiot.

'Yeah,' he laughed. 'I'm Josh by the way.'

'Kurt,' I replied.

'So, Kurt... would it be ok if I asked for your number?'

'Why would you want my number?' I said stupidly, suddenly feeling very shy and self-conscious.

'Because if I wanted to ask you out on a date I'd need a way of contacting you.'

'Oh,' I smiled. 'Um, ok.'

Josh keyed my number into his phone and then said he'd call me to arrange dinner or a movie. He walked off to the door and I went to sit back down at the table, my mind racing with what had just happened.

'Who was that?' Blaine asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

'His name's Josh... he just asked for my number.'

'Wow, that's... that's great. Are you going on a date or something?'

'He said he'd call me.'

'Kurt you're blushing, that's so sweet.'

'Shut up,' I said, lightly hitting him on the arm and feeling embarrassed.

'Do you like him?'

'I don't know him,' I shrugged, biting down on my bottom lip slightly.

'Well do you find him attractive?'

'Yeah, he's... quite cute I suppose.'

'Kurt, you seem a bit... freaked out. What's wrong?'

'What if it's some sort of practical joke? You know, get the stupid gay kid to meet you for a date and pelt him with eggs or something.'

'Why on earth would you think that?' Blaine asked me and I could tell from his tone that he was annoyed, although I wasn't entirely sure why.

'It's just... that was the first time anyone's shown interest in me... you know... in _that _way. I was starting to think that maybe guys just didn't find me attractive.'

'Oh Kurt, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard,' Blaine said to me with a shake of the head. 'There's nothing wrong with you.'

I just rolled my eyes at him. There was nothing wrong with me, yet _he _didn't find me attractive. It was alright for Blaine, he was straight looking and drop dead gorgeous. If he came out he'd have a whole line of gay gays waiting to date him.

'Er, Kurt?' Blaine said, sounding amused.

'Yeah?' I replied.

'You forgot the napkins,' Blaine smiled. I looked down at the table and saw the liquid mess I'd caused was still there. Then we both burst out laughing.


	9. Chapter 9

'I can't believe it, your first date,' Mercedes squealed.

'What did your Dad say when you told him?' Rachel asked.

We were sitting in my bedroom. Tonight was my first date with Josh, and to say I was nervous was the understatement of the century. I was surprised when he called me two nights ago, I still couldn't understand why someone would be interested in me. Maybe it was all just a practical joke.

'Well... he kind of went quiet and then Carole asked me some questions and that was that really.'

'Where did you meet him?' Rachel asked.

'Lima Bean,' I answered Rachel's question, without really thinking. I regretted it immediately though.

'What were you doing in Lima Bean?' Mercedes asked, frowning at me. 'That's nowhere near McKinley.'

'Oh, just... meeting a friend there.'

'What friend?'

_Change the subject, change the subject_… 'So anyway, have you guys got any advice for me?'

'During dinner, don't talk with your mouth full,' Rachel said. 'That's not an attractive quality.'

'And don't talk too much about yourself,' Mercedes added. 'Ask him questions.'

'Compliment him on something when you get there.'

'Offer to pay half.'

'Don't order anything that has garlic in it.'

'Say you had a good time, even if it's not true.'

'Don't eye up other guys.'

'Make sure you-'

'Ok, ok you can stop now, this is not helping the nerves,' I groaned. I felt even more anxious about the date now.

'It's just a date,' Rachel said to me. 'Treat it like a performance, as Mr Schue would say, it's your chance to shine.'

'O...kay.'

When they both left an hour later, I sighed with relief. I know they mean well but it was all a bit too much. I needed my own space. I turned from the front door to see my Dad standing in the hallway, looking at me. Uh-oh.

'So,' Dad said, putting his hands in his pockets and looking extremely uncomfortable. 'What's this... John guy like then?'

'Josh.'

'Right, Josh. So what's he like?'

'I don't know him Dad. I've only met him once.'

'Ok... but you like him?'

'I... I'll find out tonight. It's just dinner, no big deal.'

'I thought you said this was your first ever date?'

'It is,' I shrugged.

'Well then it is a big deal Kurt. You'll always remember your first date.'

'Well like I said, I don't really know him, so...'

'I got you these,' Dad said after clearing his throat nervously. He pulled a box of condoms out from his pocket and held them out for me to take, not quite meeting my eye. I felt my face burn. Oh. My. God. This was not happening. I eventually spoke when my brain managed to remember how to form words other than eughalkbfadco.

'Jesus Dad... I don't need-'

'Take them. I really hope you're responsible enough not to sleep with this guy, but I want you to be safe Kurt. Too many young kids get into trouble these days because they're too afraid to go the drugstore or ask their parents… so just…'

I'd never been so embarrassed in all my life. Without looking at him, I grabbed the condoms quickly, shoving them into my own pocket and walked off towards the stairs, wanting to go and bury my face in a pillow and never return.

'Hang on,' Dad called out. I turned to face him. 'There's a couple of years life on them, so I'm hoping they'll all be expired by the time you actually open the box.'

He smiled a little. Oh my God, I can't believe my Dad was joking about sex with me. 'Whatever.'

'And Kurt, if there's going to be a second date; I'll need to meet him.'

'Dad,' I sighed.

'Don't Dad me, that's the deal.'

'Ok... can I go now?'

'Yes.'

I ran up the stairs and into my room. I was about to dive under the duvet covers when I saw my phone was flashing on the bedside table. There was a text from Blaine. _Are you looking forward to your date? x_

_I'm really nervous actually :( I could do with a pep talk :) Kx_

_Come over to mine if you've got time, the folks are out x_

* * *

'...and after Rachel and Mercedes left, my Dad gave me condoms... I mean, what was he thinking? I was mortified Blaine, _mortified_.'

I was pacing Blaine's living room floor, babbling away and talking nonsense whilst he sat on the sofa, smiling at me and looking thoroughly amused. I was in a bit of a state, I was meeting Josh in ninety minutes.

'He's looking out for you Kurt, I'm sure it was just as mortifying for him too… and things happen, it's just a fact.'

'God, does he really think I'm stupid enough to just jump into bed with the first guy I...'

I stopped myself from talking and stood still. _Shit_. My brain was remembering when Blaine told me about losing his virginity last year to a complete stranger during a drunken romp. Oh me and my big fucking mouth.

'Sorry... I didn't mean it to sound like that.'

'Forget about it,' he smiled.

'But-'

'Kurt, really, it doesn't matter. Why don't you come and sit down?'

'I've never been on a date before,' I said sounding totally pathetic.

'You'll be fine,' Blaine tried to reassure me.

'Maybe I should call him and cancel,' I panicked. 'Or send a text. Would that be rude?'

'Kurt, if you do that then the next time will just be even harder. Whether you end up liking this guy or not, it'll be a good experience for you.'

'I feel sick,' I sighed. 'What if it's a trap?'

'It won't be.'

'But what if it is?'

'Then kick him in the nether regions and walk off.'

'What shall I do if he tries to kiss me?'

'Kiss him back,' Blaine laughed.

'But what if I'm rubbish at it, what if-'

'Hey, relax. Take a few deep breaths.'

I did just that, feeling slightly better. I sat down on the sofa next to Blaine, my head bent down. Blaine kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his. My heart was beating fast against my chest. Blaine and I had never had this before, the touchy feely thing. I know we had that dance in Rachel's garden but I still couldn't be sure whether it was genuinely a comfortable experience for him or not after all I'd practically insisted on it. His hands felt warm and soft and he calmly rubbed his thumbs in circles. I kept my eyes on them as Blaine talked.

'Kurt, listen to me. It's normal to feel nervous. Josh is probably feeling nervous too and right at this moment is wondering what to do with his hair or whether he should wear the blue or the red top.'

'Blue would go better with his eyes,' I whispered and Blaine laughed.

'You're gonna be amazing and if doesn't fall in love with you by the end of the meal then he's clearly got something wrong with him.'

I laughed at that. They were just words but I appreciated them all the same. I looked up and met Blaine's gorgeous eyes staring into mine. I hadn't realised how close we were. He was so handsome. It was such a shame he was hiding in the closet, he'd be a brilliant boyfriend to someone... and he would be one day, once he broke free of his parent's homophobic curse.

I don't really know what come over me, my gaze drifted from his eyes to his lips and I leaned forwards slightly as though to kiss him, but then my head caught up with my body and asked me what the hell I was doing.

I pulled my hands out of his and looked away from him. 'Blaine, I'm so sorry.'

'Kurt... it's ok... really,' he replied quietly.

'But I nearly-'

'Don't worry about it.'

'My brain is just not functioning at the moment… I'm really sorry.'

Blaine stood up and I looked at him cautiously. He didn't look angry, thank goodness. What was I thinking of? What if I _had _kissed him?

'Would you like a drink, some Dutch Courage before your date?' Blaine asked me, smiling.

What? Oh, Josh, I'd momentarily forgotten all about him. 'Um, yeah that would be a great help. Just a small one though cos I'm driving.'

* * *

I was at the restaurant with Josh. We'd ordered, had our starters and were waiting for our mains to arrive. My nerves had been completely unjustified of course; he was a nice guy, cute and easy to talk to.

'...so it's just me and my Mom, my Dad died when I was two. My sister Lucy is twenty five; she lives in Seattle with her husband.'

'Do you get to see her much?' I asked, taking a sip of my diet coke.

'Not much, she's a Lawyer so it's hard for her to get time off. But we go to Seattle sometimes. How about you? Siblings?'

'No... well I have a step brother. My Dad married his Mom.'

'My Mom's getting married in a few weeks, in the Caribbean. I can't wait.'

'Sounds great,' I replied.

'Have you ever been there?'

'Where?'

'The Caribbean.'

'Oh, no I haven't. I've never even been on a plane.'

'Kurt, you... you don't really want to be here do you?' Josh asked with a disappointed look in his eyes.

_Oh crap_. Was I really giving off such strong vibes? My mind was preoccupied with Blaine, but I thought I'd hidden it well. 'Oh no, of course I do,' I tried to clarify quickly with a smile.

'Are you sure? Please me honest with me.'

'I like you Josh… I really like you and I'm having a lot of fun, it's just…'

'What? You can tell me.'

'I'm not sure if I'm ready to... you know, go on dates and stuff. I don't want to mess anyone around.'

'Why would you be messing me around?'

I sighed and felt my cheeks getting warm. God, this was going to sound so childish. 'There's a guy, and nothing's ever going to happen... but...'

'You can't stop thinking about him?' Josh asked and I nodded. 'Is it the straight guy you were at Lima Bean with?'

'Yeah, him.'

'I've been there before. I liked this guy who was straight and I was _so _besotted. Do you know how I got over him?'

'How?' I asked, genuinely intrigued.

'I started dating someone I met at a friend's party. We were only together a few weeks before he went off to University, but it's what I needed to move on.'

'Is it really that simple?' I asked hopefully.

'Maybe,' he shrugged. 'It might work, it might not... what's the harm in trying?'

'But I don't want to hurt anyone.'

'Look, we've only just met and this is our first date. It's not like we're about to run off to Vegas and get dogs, cats and adopt a baby... how about we just... hang out a bit... if things don't work out romantically... well hopefully we've both made a friend out of it. What do you say?'

'Yeah, ok... sounds good,' I smiled, feeling myself instantly relax more. Maybe this was the way to get my feelings for Blaine under control. 'I'm sorry I've been a bit… quiet and stuff... that's really not me at all.'

'No worries. You know, you're really cute when you smile.'

'Thanks,' I replied shyly. 'You are too... so... are you allowed to take a date with you to the Caribbean?'

Josh laughed and threw a napkin at me. 'You'll have to wait and see won't you.'

* * *

When we left the restaurant about two hours later, Josh insisted on walking me over to my car. We stopped by the driver's side and smiled awkwardly at each other.

'I had a great time,' Josh said.

'Me too,' I replied. 'And I'm not just saying that.'

Josh beamed at me and then he was slowly leaning towards me. My heart stopped beating as Josh's lips landed on mine. It was brief, it was soft and it felt really nice. When he pulled back we both laughed nervously.

'Was that ok?' he asked. Feeling bold, I reached up a hand to Josh's neck and returned the kiss before looking into his eyes.

'Does that answer your question?'

'You might have to run it past me again,' Josh smirked.

I don't know who initiated it this time, but suddenly we were kissing, arms wrapped around each other. A tiny thought entered my head wondering what it would be like if Blaine kissed me like this, but I pushed it away. We parted eventually, both of us breathing deeply. I'm sure I was blushing beetroot red.

'What do you say to hanging out next weekend?' Josh asked.

'Um... yeah I'd like that.'

'I'll call you.'

'You better,' I retorted.

Josh reached out for my hand and squeezed it briefly before walking away to his own car. When he got there he turned around and we exchanged smiles and waves to each other.

It wasn't until I was doing my seatbelt up a couple of minutes later that I noticed my phone on the passenger seat. I hadn't even realised I'd left it in the car. I must have been super nervous, I never go anywhere without my phone.

There were text messages from Mercedes and Rachel dying to hear more about Josh. There were also two text messages from Blaine, one from before the date and another just twenty minutes ago.

_Good Luck, knock him dead and be yourself :) x_

_How did the date go? Was he nice? Did you kiss? Are you going to see him again? Am I asking too many questions? Call me asap :) x_

I laughed. Blaine was so sweet. It didn't really seem right to gush about my date with someone who was terrified of dating guys himself, but Blaine seemed keen to know the details, so why not. Unless he was just being polite? I dialed his number and he picked up almost immediately.

'Hey, how did it go?'

'Yeah, it was really good. He's great. I'm seeing him again next week.'

There were a few seconds of silence before Blaine answered. 'That's... great Kurt.'

Hmm, so the text had just been out of politeness then. Blaine either wasn't really interested in hearing about Josh, or he didn't like the reminder that dating guys is what he should be doing. I should change the subject.

'So what are you doing? Are you at home?'

'Yeah, my parents are about to arrive back from a dinner party. They're bringing some guests for a few drinks so I'm just practicing my fake smiles.'

'Oh god, that sounds really boring.'

'It will be.'

'Anyway, I'm about to drive home so... I'll see you at school on Monday?'

'Sure... see ya Kurt.'

'Bye Blaine.'


	10. Chapter 10

I didn't hear from Blaine for the rest of the weekend, which was odd. I sent him a couple of texts on Sunday, but had no response. I was starting to worry that the little "incident" had affected him more than he'd let on. After all, I had almost kissed him. What if he thought I was going to become obsessed with him or try and seduce him, or something? What if he'd decided it was best we kept away from each other from now on? I wasn't sure I could handle that.

'... and what was the kiss like?'

It was lunchtime on Monday, and I was standing at my locker talking to Mercedes. Although I'd called her the same night to spill all about Josh, she was still interrogating me. Thinking back to the kiss by my car made my cheeks heat up. _Me_, Kurt Hummel, has made out with a boy. An _actual _boy.

'Um, it was... nice,' I smiled.

'Just nice?'

'Ok, it was more than nice.'

'You're blushing,' Mercedes laughed. 'You _looooove _him.'

'We've only been on one date.'

'So what are you doing for your second date then?'

'We haven't talked about it yet. I still haven't told him that my Dad's insisted on meeting him.'

'Awkward.'

'I know right? I'll probably never see Josh again after that. Has Sam met your parents?'

'Not yet, but I've met his and they're lovely.'

'Why hasn't he met your parents?' I asked carefully and Mercedes sighed.

'I'm just not sure if they'll approve or not.'

'Because he's white?' I whispered and Mercedes nodded. 'I'm sure they'll be fine Cedes, I've met your Mom a few times and she seems pretty cool.'

'I'll just see how it goes... hey, Josh goes to a private school doesn't he?'

'Yeah,' I replied. 'Why?'

'Well he's probably got a lot of money then,' she grinned.

'I wouldn't go out with someone just because they were rich.'

'I know, but... just think of all the designer clothes you could buy.'

'Hmm, yeah that is tempting,' I joked.

'Come on, let's go to class,' Mercedes said, linking her arm with mine as we started to walk down the corridor.

My pulse speeded up however, when Blaine appeared around a corner, looking as dapper as ever. Every time I see him I'm just blown away by how perfect he is. Blaine walked past us, nodding slightly in acknowledgement. After all, we were fellow Glee Club members now.

But I really needed to speak to him about Saturday. I tried texting him again just before I went into class but there was no reply by the end of the day. It wasn't as though I could just walk up to him at school and say 'Hey, remember Saturday when I nearly kissed you? Sorry about that, wanna grab a coffee?' because we weren't supposed to be "friends" so instead I decided to write him a note and slid it into his locker when nobody was around to see me. I toyed with the idea of putting an x after my name, but in the end figured it was best not to if Blaine wasn't happy with me.

_Blaine,_

_I get the feeling you're ignoring me and I don't blame you if you are. I'm so sorry about Saturday; I was in such a state I didn't know what I was doing. I promise you that nothing like that will ever happen again :) Also, if talking about you know who is too uncomfortable for you I won't mention his name._

_I miss our text chats and coffee outings. Friends?_

_Kurt_

* * *

I was at the local coffee house after school with Rachel, Tina, Mercedes, Santana and Brittany. The purpose of the meet up was to discuss costume ideas for regionals, but we soon veered off topic and suddenly Santana asked a question that had us all choking on our coffees.

'Ok, if you had to do the nasty with someone in New Directions, not including current partners, who would it be?'

'Finn... sorry Rach,' Brittany said straight away.

'Why my Finn?'

'You should take it as a compliment,' Mercedes laughed.

'He's freakishly tall,' Brittany explained. 'How can you be intimate with someone when your face only reaches their man boobs?'

Rachel was blushing and Santana was trying to hide her giggles. 'What about you Santana?' Tina asked.

'Rachel.'

Rachel's eyes widened. 'Excuse me?'

'Well don't they say the uptight ones are usually the best in bed?'

'Oh my God,' Rachel said, hiding her face in her hands.

'Kidding Berry, relax.'

'Tina?' Brittany asked.

'Puck, he looks like a fun ride,' she said and we all burst out laughing. 'Don't tell Mike I said that. Cedes what about you?'

'Hmm, maybe Mike, he's all bendy and stuff. Sorry Tina.'

'Your turn Rachel,' I said and she shifted uncomfortably on her seat.

'I don't like this game.'

'Oh come on,' Santana said. 'It's just a bit of fun between the girls.'

'Um... ok, Sam.'

Mercedes narrowed her eyes at Rachel, clearly not amused. Brittany turned to me. 'Kurt?'

Well duh... _Blaine _a million times over. Could I say Blaine though? Or would that seem a bit suspicious? Before Blaine joined I probably would have said Sam. Should I just say that or tell the truth? Oh sod it...

'Probably Blaine.'

'Oh I forgot about him,' Brittany said. 'I change my answer to Blaine. He's cute... like a puppy.'

'Can I change too?' Rachel said excitedly. 'I'd definitely go for Blaine as well.'

'I thought you didn't like this game?' I asked Rachel and we all started laughing.

* * *

As I drove to school on Tuesday I wondered at what point Blaine would find my note. I wasn't even sure if he used his locker that often. Maybe it would take a few days for him to even go in it. Would he be angry with me? Maybe I should have sent him a really long text message instead, or left a voicemail.

I pulled up into the school parking lot. As soon as I cut the engine my phone started ringing. I took it out of my pocket, and was surprised to see that it was Blaine. I smiled at his name on the screen before answering. 'Hey, good timing, I've just got to school.'

'I know, I saw you arrive.'

'Where are you?' I asked and Blaine laughed.

'Look.'

I looked out of the front window and scanned the sea of people. After a few seconds I spotted Blaine sitting on a wall. He smiled and I waved to him with my free hand. 'I take it you got my note then?'

'Yeah. Kurt, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your texts... I really didn't mean to worry you.'

'It's ok,' I replied. It was weird talking to him on the phone and also looking at him from across the parking lot. I wondered if the day would ever arrive when I could just talk to him face to face at school... probably not.

'I've been a bit... stressed out.'

'What's wrong?' I asked and I heard Blaine sigh.

'My Mom has set me up on a date with a friend's daughter.'

'Oh... I thought you had an imaginary girlfriend at a snobby private school?'

'That's for the benefit of people here. I can't use that line with my parents; they'd want to meet her.'

'Right, of course. When is this date?'

'Saturday.'

'Blaine, is there any point in me trying to persuade you to come out again?' I asked quietly, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.

Blaine didn't answer. We stated at each other for a few moments and then he gave a little sad shake of his head. 'Are you free after school?' he asked me.

'We've got Glee Club.'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

'But we could do something afterwards if you've got time?' I suggested.

'Ok. I'll text you later.'

* * *

It was one of the rare times I made my way to Glee Club wanting it to be over as soon as possible. After what happened on Saturday and then not speaking to Blaine for over two days I was looking forward to spending time with him and catching up. He'd sent me a text at lunchtime asking to meet at a park about a ten minute drive from school. I didn't question why, just told him I'd be there.

So as I walked from my last class, I saw Finn, Puck and Blaine up ahead, standing outside the choir room, arguing with Karofsky. _Crap_! I stopped a few feet before them, watching and listening.

'...and get all of you kicked out of the football team,' Karofsky seethed.

'You really think Coach Beiste will listen to you?' Puck asked with a smirk. 'You're not even that good of a player.'

'Watch your mouth Puckerman or-'

'Anyway, _I'm _the Captain dude,' Finn interrupted loudly. 'If anyone's getting kicked out, it's you, not us.'

'Really? All the other players listen to me Hudson. I'm not the one prancing around in Glee Club like a fag.'

'You need to let it go,' Puck said with a laugh. 'This whole macho I'm-better-than-you thing is getting real old.'

'All the other schools think we're a fucking joke because you lot are...'

Karofsky stopped talking as he caught my eye and he smirked. 'What the hell are you looking at lady?' The other three all turned to see who he had spoken to. Blaine gave me a tiny, but nervous smile.

'Don't talk to him like that,' Finn said, taking a step closer to Karofsky.

'Why? Afraid I'll make the little fag cry? Boo fucking hoo.'

'You're crossing a line,' Puck said.

'Why are you so protective of him? Is he your _boyfriend _Puckerm-'

'Didn't you hear what I said?' Finn demanded.

'Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?' Karofsky said with a laugh. 'Show me the error of my ways through a cheesy song and an awful dance routine?'

'Finn, just let me hit him man,' Puck begged.

'No, do you wanna to go back to juvie?'

'Damn,' Puck sighed as Mr Schue arrived, stopping next to them all.

'What the hell's going on here?' he asked in a stern voice.

'Nothing,' all four of them replied. It was the first time I'd heard Blaine speak. Mr Schue rolled his eyes.

'You lot, get inside,' Mr Schue said. 'And Dave? Get out of my sight.'

* * *

Blaine and I were both lying with our backs on the grass in the park he'd chosen for us to meet at. I felt like Edward and Bella from Twilight, sad huh? Blaine had picked up a daisy and was twiddling it around with his fingers, deep in thought. He looked so cute. If I was his boyfriend I could just reach my hand over right now and… _no stop it Kurt_! Distract yourself, say something…

'Why didn't you want to go to Lima Bean?' I asked and Blaine turned his head towards me.

'I just felt like a change,' Blaine replied. 'We can go if you want.'

'Oh no, I wasn't implying that I wanted to... really, I like it here.'

'Me too,' Blaine smiled. 'It's so nice and peaceful.'

'So what was Karofsky's problem earlier?'

'Some of the football players in other schools are... um... calling us all...'

'Homo's?' I asked, not a trace of humour in my voice.

'Yeah, well that's the polite version of it anyway. Karofsky's really pissed.'

'He's got such an issue with gay people.'

'I hated the way he spoke you earlier... I've always hated it... and the pushes and the slushies and... and I hate that I've always just stood back and-'

'Blaine, stop torturing yourself,' I interrupted. He was looking so angry with himself. I touched his arm briefly and smiled.

'I'm not accountable to you and... really it's ok. I've got Finn and all the glee guys to support me.'

For a few minutes we laid there in silence. I would have killed to know what Blaine was thinking right this second and what went on in his head. I wondered what he thought of me. I mean, did he like me… as a friend of course? Did I annoy him? Was he ever offended by anything I said?

'What are you thinking?'

I jumped and looked to see Blaine watching me. 'Oh nothing… so are you definitely going on that date?'

'I have to,' Blaine sighed.

'It will just be a couple of hours and then you'll never have to see her again.'

'Yeah... hopefully.'

'You know you can call me at any time to talk right?'

Blaine reached his hand out to me and squeezed my arm for a moment. 'I know... thanks Kurt. You're... you've been such a great friend to me.'

'I know,' I smirked and Blaine laughed at me. 'I'm pretty perfect actually.'

'Modest too.'

'Blaine, you know that guy you had feelings for?'

For a split second Blaine looked uncomfortable, but pulled it back. 'What about him?'

'Are they still there... your feelings I mean?'

'Yeah they are,' Blaine replied with a nod.

'Who is he?'

Blaine blushed and looked away from me. 'I'd rather not say.'

'Why? I won't tell him... although maybe I'll arrange a blind date for you both.'

'I wouldn't be surprised... so I'm definitely not telling you.'

'Please?' I begged.

'No,' Blaine laughed.

'In that case, I don't wanna be your friend anymore,' I huffed, trying to keep a straight face, but a smile was bursting to get out.

'Oh, being like that are you?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Yep. You and I are _so _over Anderson.'

'I have to object Hummel.'

'Hmm, overruled... sorry.'

'That's it,' Blaine warned in a whisper and then he launched himself at me.

There was a bit of a struggle, and although I was taller than him, Blaine eventually managed to pin me down, probably due to his football fitness. He was straddling me with his legs and had hold of my wrists above my head. We were both laughing. As I looked up into his smiling face, he looked so happy and as though he didn't have a care in the world. I was glad I could make him feel like that. I didn't dare to look down to see how close our crotches were touching. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to look away again.

'Let me go,' I said, still laughing.

'Would you care to repeat what you said?'

'Overruled,' I replied.

'No that's not going to cut it.'

'Ok, ok. I take it back.'

Blaine winked at me and then removed himself so I could sit up. If I had to stand now I wouldn't be able to, my legs felt completely wobbly. Why did I have to react so hormonally around him?

'You are so silly,' I said to Blaine with a roll of my eyes.

I smoothed down my clothes and checked my hair. Blaine grabbed at the grass and threw some at me with a smile. I was starting to learn a lot more about Blaine, or he was just becoming more comfortable with me as a friend. He was definitely an affectionate and playful person; it was pretty damn cute to be honest.

We stayed for another hour and then on my way home from the park I received a text from Josh. _So Saturday night? Movies? J_

_Sounds great. Tiny problem though, my Dad wants to meet you! Kx_

_Why? J_

_He's a bit overprotective. Kx_

_No way Kurt, I'm not meeting your Dad. You're 17, not 12! J_

_Sorry Josh, he's insisting. He won't let me go otherwise. Kx_

_Pretend you're going to one of your "girl" friends houses or something! J_

_I can't lie to him. Please Josh? Kx_

_Well I guess I have no choice. I'll pick you up from yours between 6-6:30? J_

_Thanks, looking forward to it :) Kx_


	11. Chapter 11

'This is stupid,' Puck said and a lot of us murmured in agreement. We were all sitting in a circle on the floor of the choir room. With regionals coming up, Mr Schue thought sitting us all like this would inspire great song ideas. The guy was clearly on something.

Mr Schue had left the room for a while and of course the talk very quickly shifted from regionals to more trivial topics. I could hear Finn and Sam discussing Call Of Duty, and Tina explaining to Mike that going to see the latest Bond movie was not considered romantic in her book.

I wasn't really paying much attention to anyone until I heard Santana speak to me from across the circle. 'Hummel, what's the name of this guy you're seeing on the weekend?'

'Um... Josh,' I replied.

'Cute?'

I felt myself blushing and looked around to find everyone looking at me, apart from Blaine. He was looking down and picking bits of fluff off his jeans.

'Yeah.'

'Oooh boyfriend?' Puck teased with a grin.

'Sort of,' I mumbled. There were a few more 'Oooh's' and then thankfully everyone broke off into their own conversations again. I shot Santana a bitch glare and she just grinned and shrugged at me.

'Shouldn't we discussing song choices?' Rachel said loudly above the chatter but nobody took much notice and she slumped back. Blaine was sitting next to her and I saw them strike up a conversation. Then something Blaine said made Rachel laugh.

I felt a pang in my heart. Why did something so simple get to me so much? There was no way I could just sit and laugh with Blaine in front of several other people, it wasn't fair. But anyway, Saturday night I was going to the movies with Josh. An out and proud gay guy who liked me and wasn't ashamed to be seen in public by my side.

* * *

After Friday night dinner, Dad, Finn, Carole and I sat in the living room to watch a movie. Ten minutes in and Finn was already glued to his phone, no doubt texting Rachel. Only a few minutes later I received a text myself. I expected it to be Josh so was pleasantly surprised when it was actually Blaine.

_So does Mr Shoe often get you guys sitting on the floor for pointless exercises? x_

Oh jesus, the 'Shoe' part made me snort with laughter, earning curious glares from the other three. _Mr Shoe? LOL. If I was drinking right now my clothes would be ruined! Kx_

_I have a dry cleaning account you can abuse anytime you wish ;) x_

_Of course you do :) And yeah he has some crazy ideas sometimes, you'll get used to it. Kx_  
_What are you up to? Kx_

_I know you get me, so I let my walls come down x_

_Aww that's sweet. I'm glad you feel you can open up to me :) Kx_

_Let's run away and don't ever look back x_

_Huh? Kx_

_This is real, so take a chance x_

_What's real? Blaine are you ok? I'd say you were wasted but your spelling's impeccable. Kx_

_I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece x_  
_I'm listening to 'Teenage Dream' you asked what I was up to! :P x_

_OMG hahahahaha. I was totally freaking out here. Kx_  
_And Katy Perry? Seriously Blaine? I thought I knew you :( Kx_

_Hey don't knock Perry, she's my idol lol. My rendition of TD is way better than hers... in my head anyway! x_

_You SO have to sing that to me now you've said that. You did promise! Kx_

_I think you'll find I said I'd THINK about it :P x_

_You're talking rubbish Blaine. I need to hear you sing so bad. Kx_

_Well it would be BAD that's the point. I was born to sway in the background during Rachel Berry solos x_

_Oh don't, that's gonna be on my head stone! I've had 2 years of being in Rachel's shadow x_

_You're an amazing singer Kurt and you're not in anyone's shadow. Mr Shoe is obsessed with Rachel because he thinks she's the ticket to a Nationals trophy x_

_She probably is though. I'll never get a competition solo in case any of the judges are total homophobes. Kx_

_You really think that? x_

_Yes. Mr Schue would never say so but it's true. Kx_

_Well the sooner you go to NY the better then. Broadway needs you :) x_

'Boys, can you not leave your phones alone for the duration of _one _movie?'

Blaine's last text made me feel a bit emotional, so I was glad of the distraction as I looked up from my phone at my Dad's outburst. Then I looked over to Finn and we both just shrugged, and went back to our text conversations. Had my Dad never heard of multi-tasking?

* * *

'He's late,' my Dad said, looking at his watch.

'No he isn't,' I replied defensively. 'He said six to half past, not six on the dot.'

My Dad made a noise of protest but didn't' respond. We were sitting in silence on the sofa waiting for Josh to arrive for our movie date. I wasn't as nervous as I had been before the first date, but I was worried about what my Dad might say to him. I looked at my phone every twenty seconds in case Josh had sent a text, although I knew it would make a noise if he did.

The minutes ticked by. Finn and Carole both came into the living room at 18:20 and sat on the other sofa. Finn had a plate of pizza and began tucking into it. We all had to sit there listening to him chew and go mmm every few seconds.

'Finn, do you mind?' I said eventually, getting wound up.

'Sorry dude, I just really love pizza.'

'Yeah I noticed.'

Finn finished his pizza and then we were all just sitting there like lemons. I was starting to get annoyed with Josh; he could have at least sent a text to say roughly what time he'd been arriving. My Dad stood up and let out a sigh.

'It's six thirty two… now he's definitely late.'

Finally Josh arrived in his car at 18:41, well according to my Dad's watch he did. I ignored his announcement of the time and I ran outside of the house to talk to Josh before my Dad got his hands on him... figuratively speaking of course.

'Josh,' I said quietly, but with a hint of annoyance in my tone. Josh pushed his car door closed and frowned at me. 'What held you up?'

'Am I late?' he asked, looking at his own watch and then back at me. 'Oh sorry.'

Josh walked up to me smiling and gave me a quick hug before pulling back. It was hard to stay annoyed with someone when they smiled and hugged you, or maybe I was just desperate for a bit of affection. Josh moved towards his car.

'So shall we get going then?'

'Er... you're here to meet my Dad remember,' I said slowly.

'Oh right, yeah. Well... quickly then.'

I chose not to reply to Josh's comment. Was he stupid or something? How could he have forgotten that my Dad wanted to meet him? Maybe he was just nervous; I know I would be if I was meeting Josh's Mom. We walked into the house and my Dad was standing in the hallway waiting for us, his arms folded over his chest. He didn't look happy. Well here goes nothing...

'So... Dad, this is Josh,' I said nervously.

'Hello Josh,' my Dad muttered darkly.

'Mr Hummel. Nice to meet you.'

Josh and my Dad shook hands and then Josh turned to me. 'Can we get going now Kurt?'

'Hold on a second,' my Dad complained, putting a hand up. 'There's no rush, why don't we all go into the living room and sit down? You haven't even met my wife and step son yet.'

'Sorry but I've booked the seven o'clock showing,' Josh replied with an apologetic smile. 'We really need to go.'

My Dad looked as though he was about to utter a retort, but Josh had already turned around and walked back out of the front door. Well that wasn't awkward at all. Should I just follow him or say something to my Dad?

'Um...' I started to say, but trailed off as my Dad looked at me with deep disappointment.

'I don't like him.'

'Dad, you don't know him.'

'I don't think I want to know him,' Dad replied, shaking his head. 'Was he not brought up with manners?'

'_Dad_! I'll... I'll see you later ok?'

'Well, you know... be careful.'

'We're only going to the movies.'

I walked out of the house and got into Josh's car. 'We should just about have enough time to line up for a drink,' Josh said as he pulled away from my house.

'Right.'

I stared at Josh as he drove us to the movie theatre. Eventually he glanced my way and smiled when he noticed my expression. 'What's with the scowl Kurt?'

'Couldn't you have been a bit nicer to my Dad?' I asked.

'Oh you're mad at me.'

'You arrived late and then stayed for all of thirty seconds.'

'So?'

'So... you haven't exactly given a good first impression to my Dad.'

'Well I'm not dating your Dad am I?' Josh replied with a smirk.

* * *

After the movie ended we made our way out of the building to the parking lot to find Josh's car. Once we weren't in full view of a hundred other people, Josh took my hand and I felt a swell of pride.

'Did you enjoy the movie?' he asked.

'Yeah it was good,' I lied. Action thrillers really weren't my thing. I was regretting telling Josh to book whatever he fancied, although there was a possibility he wouldn't like any of the movies I'm into. 'Did you like it?'

'Yeah, well you can't really go wrong with Matthew Fox.'

'So do you like his movies for the acting... or for _other _reasons?'

'Ok, I think he's hot too,' Josh laughed.

We reached his car and his hand left mine as he placed both his hands on my neck and leaned in for a kiss. It was slow at first, light touches and no tongue. I joined my hands together behind his back and pulled him closer. Josh responded by deepening the kiss, pressing harder and then plunged his tongue into my mouth. Only seconds later Josh pulled back, smiling at my blushing face.

'Tease,' I whispered.

'Always leave them wanting more, that's my motto,' Josh replied with a wink. He walked round to the driver's side and opened the car doors with the button on his key and we both climbed in.

'Shall we go and get pizza?' I suggested. We hadn't eaten before the movie and half a bag of M&M's just weren't going to cut it. 'I'm really hungry.'

'Yeah, I'm starving too. You sure it's not too late?'

'No, Dad said I had until eleven so we've got another ninety minutes.'

'Cool.'

Josh put his seat belt on and I was about to do the same when my phone started ringing. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the screen. It was Blaine. Shit, I'd forgotten about his "date" tonight. I planned to send him a text today to let him know I was thinking of him. Well Blaine knew I was seeing Josh tonight, so he wouldn't ring me unless it was really urgent would he? I turned to Josh with a slight smile.

'I need to take this, I'm so sorry; I'll just be a minute.'

'Right, whatever,' Josh replied, sounding annoyed. I got out of Josh's car quickly and closed the door before answering the call.

'Blaine?'

'Kurt? I'm... I'm sorry, am I interrupting your date?'

He sounded so down and tired. He was also slurring his words a little, well that was to be expected. 'No of course not, what's happened?'

'I can't do this anymore... I just can't... I-'

'Can't what? Blaine, talk to me.'

'I just... I can't ever be myself... I'm _miserable _Kurt.'

'It won't always be this way,' I said quietly, fighting back the tears. 'Blaine, where are you? Do you need picking up or something?'

'No... I'm at home... I just got back from... from that _thing_.'

'How much have you had to drink?'

'Kurt please don't lecture me about alcohol.'

'I'm not; I just think you need to have a really good sleep. Everything will seem so better in the morning, I promise.'

'I suppose,' Blaine sighed.

'Just don't worry about anything right now... we'll talk tomorrow ok? Or we can meet up if you want.'

'You're not too busy?'

'Of course not. What do you say to coffee at Lima Bean?'

'Ok.'

'Two o'clock?'

'Perfect. Thanks Kurt... I'm really sorry for interrupting you and... Josh, I just really needed-'

'Blaine it's fine, don't worry.'

'Ok... see you tomorrow.'

'Bye Blaine.'

I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket. I hated hearing Blaine so distressed. But what else could I do besides trying to convince him to come out? I took a few deep breaths to compose myself before getting back into the car.

'Sorry about that,' I said once I was in the passenger seat again.

'Was that the "straight" guy?' Josh asked me.

'What's with the air quotes?'

'Come on Kurt, who calls their friend when they know they're in the middle of a date?'

'He's not gay... anyway, he wasn't calling for a friendly chat, he was upset... family problems.'

'Sure,' Josh said, rolling his eyes. 'You know, I don't think you should be friends with him Kurt.'

'What? Why not?'

'You're in love with him and it's only going to end in tears so-'

'Hang on, who said anything about being in love with him?'

'It's pretty obvious,' Josh replied.

'Well you've got it wrong. Yeah I have... feelings for him, but he's just a friend.'

Josh didn't reply but I heard a very faint sigh as he started up the engine. Josh dropped me off home after the pizza, which had been a little strained and awkward after the disagreement in the car.

He didn't show any indication of wanting to get out of his car at my house and walk me to my door or anything, so I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

'See you in the week some time?' Josh asked.

'Sure,' I replied. 'Call or text me.'

Then I got out of the car. We waved to each other and then Josh drove off. I did like him, I really did. But... he was late picking me up, he was borderline rude to my Dad and he had the nerve to judge my friendship with Blaine. Had our first date been one big act? Was he really not as nice as he seemed then? Or was I purposely trying to find fault with him because he was right?

Maybe he had a right to feel threatened by Blaine? Maybe he was jealous? As far as he was concerned Blaine was actually straight. Would I like it if Josh was really into someone he spent a lot of time with? Hmm. And maybe he was shy and nervous around people's parents so had purposely arrived late to avoid an awkward interrogation.

Maybe I was just over thinking everything way too much.


	12. Chapter 12

Breakfast was pretty awkward the next morning. Dad fired questions at me about Josh and our movie date. He must have said "I don't like him" another twenty times. I don't know who I was most annoyed at, Josh or my Dad. When I was leaving to go and meet Blaine in the afternoon, I lied and said I was going to Mercedes house instead. I don't know why I lied; I guess I didn't want to be questioned any further. Also, Dad was a bit funny with me last time I mentioned Blaine.

I arrived at Lima Bean with five minutes to spare and found Blaine already waiting for me at a table, with two coffees. My heart raced as usual whenever I saw him and he gave me the most amazing smile as soon as he spotted me. It should be Josh making me feel things like this, not Blaine.

'Hey,' I said as I sat in the chair opposite him and took my coat off.

'Hi,' he replied.

'Thanks for the coffee; I'll pay you-'

'Don't be silly, it's the least I can do.'

'Ok… so do you want to talk about yesterday?' I asked and Blaine's smile disappeared as he took on a more thoughtful look.

'First of all, can I just apologise for the phone call... I shouldn't have called you during your date and when I was in such a state and-'

'Blaine, it's ok. I'm really glad you called me. We're friends aren't we? That's what friends are for.'

'Oh… I guess,' Blaine said shyly.

'What was the second of all?'

Blaine laughed. 'I wanted to say thank you. Just hearing your voice made me feel so much calmer. I can't tell you how glad I am to have you as a friend.'

'Aww, you're gonna make me cry,' I teased, although to be honest it was kind of true. If I let myself go I'd be blubbing like a baby. _Hold it back Kurt_!

'So how was your date with Josh last night?' Blaine asked, looking down at his coffee.

'We went to the movies,' I sighed.

'Oh?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.

'What?'

'There was a definite sigh there Kurt. Trouble in paradise?'

'I don't know,' I replied, shrugging my shoulders. I really didn't want to burden Blaine with such a trivial thing.

'Come on, talk to me. I know what you're doing and it won't wash.'

'What do you mean?' I asked nervously.

'You don't think you should share any of your worries on me.'

'I…'

'Look, Kurt…' Blaine said quietly, staring at me really intensely. I had my hands wrapped around my coffee cup and for a split second, probably involuntary, Blaine reached out a hand as though he was going to hold onto one, but then he pulled it back and scratched at his neck nervously. He cleared his throat and continued. '…Um, I know I come across as unstable sometimes but I want you to feel as though you can talk to me. I may not be able to help but I really want to listen. I've been really selfish in this friendship and-'

'No, no you haven't,' I said, shaking my head. 'Don't say that Blaine.'

Blaine looked as though he wanted to argue but he didn't and just smiled at me. 'Tell me about your date then.'

'Ok… well it just didn't feel right. He turned up late to my house despite knowing my Dad wanted to meet him. Then he barely even registered his existence and wanted to leave before he'd even arrived and…' I trailed off because I was just about to say Josh and I also had a bit of a disagreement after Blaine and I spoke on the phone. But I don't want to bring him into it or make him feel guilty about anything. 'It just didn't feel the same as the first date. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it... I've never dated anyone before... and it was only our second date... it's all new to me.'

'I can't really give you any advice, I've never dated anyone either. But if you like him… maybe it's too early to be thinking of calling it a day.'

'Yeah, I guess so. I do like him, and he seems to like me...'

'Well there you go then. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself… Josh too. Maybe you should just… take things as they come. Dating should be fun.'

'You're right and I know I just over analyse everything too much. I guess it's the drama queen in me.'

'I wouldn't want you any other way,' Blaine laughed and I felt myself blush.

'How was your thing last night?' I asked carefully.

'It was horrible Kurt. I took her out to dinner; she kept trying to touch me up with her foot. She asked me all kinds of inappropriate questions. I felt… sick. It was totally wrong and… well I'm obviously not a very good actor because in the end, she asked what the hell was wrong with me.'

'Oh dear.'

'Yeah… I told her she wasn't my type, made up some bullshit about sort of going out with someone else and that the date was just a favour to my Mom.'

'I bet she didn't like that.'

'No. She said she'd gone to a lot of effort for nothing.'

'Do you think your Mom will find out?' I asked.

'Probably… I'll think of something. But the whole thing just made me feel so… so angry. So as soon as I got home I downed a bottle of whiskey.'

'Blaine, you know I sympathise. I don't know what I would have done in your situation because luckily my Dad has always been so understanding. He told me he knew I would be gay from when I was a kid so I assume one of my Mom's dying wishes was for him to take extra care of me over the whole gay thing. Blaine, you're a really great guy. You're good looking, intelligent, funny, you play football; you're amazing at piano… I mean you do have some flaws, a fan of Katy Perry songs? What's that all about?'

Blaine laughed really hard and my heart swelled at the thought I could make him feel good about himself. 'I should never have let that slip.'

'Anyway, I think if you... no _when _you meet someone… someone special, then you may find coming out a whole lot easier. And whether that be next week or in two years time, just know that it will happen. If your parents disown you for it, well they don't deserve you as a son.'

Blaine sighed and his eyes looked emotional. Was he trying to hold back tears? I wasn't sure. 'You're not going to let this coming out thing drop are you?'

'Nope,' I replied. 'You're not happy Blaine. You said yourself you're miserable. There's only one way that will change.'

'Well not today,' he said quietly.

'Um... I'm gonna get myself a cookie, would you like one?' I asked, getting up from the table.

'Sure.'

* * *

Rachel finished off her song and we all clapped politely as she sat down next to Finn. She asked him what he thought and he hugged her and told her she was amazing.

'That was excellent Rachel,' Mr Schue beamed. 'Well done. Right, that's if for today guys, next lesson will be in the auditorium to start regional practice.'

Everyone cheered and then we were gathering our things to leave. I left the choir room with Mercedes and we waited for Tina outside, as we were all going the mall together.

'Rachel's song was good,' Mercedes said.

'Yeah,' I agreed. 'But then again all her songs are pretty good I guess.'

Puck, Quinn and Artie all came out and then Blaine did, but he went in the opposite direction of the exit, which was odd. Then Tina appeared. 'Looking forward to next glee club?' she asked us.

'Sure,' I replied. 'It'll be good to be in the auditorium.'

'Being backing singers?' Mercedes said. 'We all know Mr Schue will end up going with a Rachel solo and Finchel duet.'

Tina nodded her agreement. 'We all love Rachel, and she's a great singer and will probably sail through the NYADA audition process but... it's just not fair how much favouritism she gets.'

'I guess it depends what your priorities are,' I began to say. 'We missed out on Nationals last year and didn't get past regionals the year before that... do you go all out to get a win or try to make everyone in the group happy?'

'Do you think we could win _without _Rachel?' Mercedes asked me.

'Yes,' I replied without having to think. 'But then I'm not Mr Schue am I?'

'Shall we talk more about this at the mall?' Tina asked.

'Oh yeah, let's go,' Mercedes said.

I stalled. 'I'll see you both there; I've just got to get something from my locker. I'll ring to see where you are.'

'Ok,' Tina said and they both walked away. I went in the direction of Blaine's lockers to see if I could find where he was as he hadn't come back from whatever he was doing.

But he wasn't at his own locker. Then I heard a noise coming from the boys locker room further down the hallway. I approached cautiously and the door was ajar, but I was not expecting to see what greeted me.

Blaine in shorts, a plain white t-shirt and boxing gloves, punching the life out of a huge red punch bag. Oh my God, just when I thought he couldn't be any more perfect than he already was. Wow, talk about hot. My heart was in my mouth and I was mesmerised for a moment.

When my brain finally stopped trying to shut down I figured I should leave without my presence being seen, but as I attempted to slip away, Blaine moved around the punch bag and saw me at the door.

'Kurt,' he said in alarm, looking startled.

'Oh sorry, I saw you didn't head straight for the exit so I wanted to see if you were ok. I'll just go, sorry-'

'No no, it's fine,' Blaine smiled and then we stared at each other awkwardly.

'So boxing huh?' I said pathetically, leaning on the door frame and trying not to stare at Blaine's oh so lovely legs.

'Yeah... I find it really helps me focus and get my frustrations out.'

'Makes sense,' I replied. 'Can I call on you whenever I need a personal bodyguard?'

'I'm all yours,' Blaine said and how could one little sentence sound so fucking sexy and suggestive?

'No wonder you were able to pin me down in the park, football _and _boxing? You're fit Blaine.'

Oh my God, that sentence sounded so much better in my head. And now I was blushing like mad and Blaine was smirking at me. 'Well Kurt, anyone listening to this conversation could be forgiven for taking that _entirely _the wrong way.'

'Oh God... sorry, I... I don't think sometimes before I-'

'Don't worry about it,' Blaine laughed. 'It was funny... and your blushing was cute.'

Blaine called me cute. OMFG. Internal squeal. 'Um, anyway... I've got to meet Tina and Mercedes at the mall. I'll talk to you later?'

'Of course,' Blaine smiled and I left him to it.

Fuck, I was totally screwed.

* * *

'The Big Bang Theory or Modern Family?'

'Um... Modern Family,' I replied.

I was at Lima Bean with Josh having a coffee date after school. He was still in his uniform so he looked really cute. It felt weird being here without Blaine, Lima Bean was kind of our thing but this was where Josh and I met after all.

'Yeah I prefer that too. It's so funny.'

'How's your Mom's wedding plans going?' I asked. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket but didn't want to check it and cause any friction.

'Oh God,' Josh sighed. 'I can't wait for it to be over. It's all she talks about and there are magazines all over the house... are all women like his with weddings?'

'Some,' I said quietly, feeling sick inside. I was going to excitedly recall the wedding plans I did for Dad and Carole, and what an epic job I did. But after what Josh had just said decided to keep my mouth firmly closed.

'Marriage means nothing these days; it's just a piece of paper which can be overturned with one trip to a Lawyer's office.'

'You don't ever want to get married then?' I asked, quickly going off my coffee. Not because of Josh, but because for me marriage was something I wanted more than pretty much anything.

Josh thought for a moment. 'Not really. You don't have to get married to know someone loves you right?'

'No of course not, but it's the ultimate commitment isn't it? If it's good enough for Will and Kate…'

Josh laughed. 'Yeah like they had a choice in the matter.'

'I suppose,' I said, trying to smile. I didn't want to argue about this.

'I'm just going to the bathroom,' Josh announce, getting up from the table. Once he was gone I pulled my phone out and smiled down as I saw a text from Blaine.

_Hey Kurt, I can't make the next glee club :( But how do you feel about hanging out over the weekend? My parents will be in LA so you could come round to mine :) x_

_Sure sounds great. Kx_


	13. Chapter 13

It was the weekend and once again I lied to my Dad, failing to tell him I was going to meet Blaine. Instead I said I was meeting Mercedes for coffee. It made me wonder why it came so easily to me yet I refused when Josh asked me to pretend I was with friends when Dad wanted to meet him. Was me wanting to lie about Blaine a good or bad thing?

I arrived at the Anderson household and when Blaine opened the door my heart caught on in my throat. He looked adorable in well fitted grey jeans, a red jumper and he was bare footed.

'Hey,' I said, the word coming out slightly squeaky. _Real smooth Kurt_.

'Thanks for coming.'

'No problem.'

I followed Blaine into his kitchen. I remembered all too clearly the last time I had been in here, when I had shouted at Blaine he couldn't 'catch' gay. A lot had happened since then; now he was one of, if not my best friend, who I happened to be a teeny bit… ok maybe a lot in love with. Blaine motioned for me to sit at the kitchen table which I did whilst he busied himself making something.

'What are you doing?' I asked.

'It's a surprise,' he replied, turning his heard around to smile at me for a moment. A couple of minutes later he came and sat next to me at the table with two mugs.

'I made you one of my specialities,' Blaine said, putting one of the mugs in front of me. 'Home made hot chocolate.'

'Oh wow,' I smiled. 'Is this another hidden talent of yours?'

'You haven't tasted it yet, you might think it's really disgusting.'

I lifted the mug up to my lips and took a sip. Oh my God. Heaven. 'Mmm, that's really nice. You need to give me the recipe. Carole and Finn would love me for this.'

'No way,' Blaine laughed. 'If I give away my secret recipe you won't want to come round anymore.'

'Oh so it's a way of buying my friendship then is it?'

'Yep,' Blaine smiled.

'Don't you think just being you is enough?' I said carefully. I meant it in all seriousness but Blaine laughed, clearly taking it in a different context.

'Nice try Kurt, you'll have to kill me before I give out my trade secrets.'

'You're mean,' I pouted and Blaine just smiled at me.

'So how was the last glee club?' Blaine asked.

'You didn't miss much,' I sighed. 'Mr Schue had us practice a group number and the rest of the time was discussing Rachel's solo.'

Blaine took a few sips of his hot chocolate and then put his mug back down on the table. I couldn't help grinning at him, some cream had been left on his bottom lip and he looked so god damn cute. What I wouldn't give to just lean forward and kiss it off and... Oh God let's not go there.

'Blaine you've... you've got a bit of cream... um...'

I pointed to my own bottom lip and Blaine got the message immediately, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then looking at me expectantly like a little puppy. He was so adorable. 'Is it gone?'

'No... um...'

I moved my chair closer and reached out my hand to him slowly, giving him the chance to push it away, but he didn't. I ran my thumb along Blaine's bottom lip, and all the while I was aware of Blaine's eyes locked onto mine.

'It's gone,' I whispered, looking away from Blaine's lips to his eyes. I started to move my hand back but Blaine grabbed hold of my wrist, keeping it still. I gasped and widened my eyes at the sudden action and Blaine looked almost as surprised as me at what he'd done, but he didn't make any attempt to let me go. I watched as his adam's apple bobbed up and down. He was nervous. Why was he nervous?

'Blaine?' I said quietly, wishing my heart would stop thumping so loudly against my chest. Blaine's eyes danced with an emotion I couldn't put a name to. I tried again to move my hand back but Blaine's grip tightened ever so slightly, stopping me. 'Are you... are you ok?'

'I want you,' he finally whispered, his eyes fluttering closed and an anguished look appearing on his face.

_What?_

'W- what?' I gasped, knowing I probably looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights right now. Did I actually hear correctly? Was I dreaming? Hallucinating? What exactly had Blaine put in that hot chocolate? He opened his eyes and then released his grip on my wrist, taking my hand in his instead.

'I want you Kurt.'

'Um... I don't... I...'

I stopped babbling and just stared at Blaine with utter confusion. He looked as though he was about to cry now. He let go of my hand and broke the eye contact, looking down at the kitchen floor instead.

'Oh God, you... you don't like me in that way do you?' he said in a panicked voice.

'What? No, I... I do... I... how could I not like you in that way?'

'Really?' he asked, still with his eyes fixed to the floor.

'Yeah, of course I do but... I just... I'm trying to get my head around this... is this about... s-sex?' I mumbled stupidly.

Was that what was meant by 'I want you' these days? Was it a sex thing? Did Blaine want a fuck buddy or something? His head snapped back up to look at me, looking horrified at what I just asked.

'Kurt, no,' Blaine replied, shaking his head firmly. 'You think I just want to sleep with you? Are you crazy?'

'Then explain it to me,' I begged, willing myself not to cry.

'I want to be with you... in _every_ way. I want to take you on proper romantic dates, I want to hug you and kiss you whenever and _wherever _you wanted, I want to be your somebody special on Valentine's Day.'

Oh. My. God.

Blaine wanted to be with me? _Me_?

I was sure Blaine must be able to hear my heart pounding; it was practically ringing in my ears at this point. I didn't know what to say, which was a good thing because I doubted I'd be able to say anything more than _Nnnnmmf _right now. My brain was officially mush, I'd been dreaming of this for weeks. Blaine reached forwards and took both my hands in his and squeezed them gently. He gave me a shy and adorable smile.

'You ok?' he asked and I nodded my head. 'You look like you're in shock Kurt and... I don't know if that's good shocked or bad shocked, but I think I should probably explain um... the thing is I've admired you from afar for well over two years. Even when I wasn't one hundred per cent sure of my sexuality... I knew there was something about you I liked. That's the real reason I never joined the Glee Club when Puck and the others did, I didn't think I could handle being that close to you.'

Blaine paused and took a deep breath before he carried on. 'After I told you I was gay, I thought I'd matured enough in the past two years that I could handle us being friends even though I had feelings for you... but the feelings just kept growing and growing and... I just can't handle it anymore. Since you met Josh I'm just so consumed with jealousy, it's killing me.'

'You're jealous?' I whispered, finally finding my voice again as the shock began to wear off, although my pulse was still sky high and I was shaking like mad. Blaine nodded and another thought occurred to me. 'So... so I'm the guy you've been saying you had feelings for?'

'Yeah,' Blaine smiled. 'Now you know why I couldn't tell you.'

'I... I never thought... it just never occurred to me that you'd ever be interested in someone like-'

'Kurt are you really that naive?' Blaine almost shouted, looking annoyed with me. 'You're amazing. You have so much love and compassion, I've never met anyone as understanding as you. I love how open and brave you are. I've always been... I don't know, in awe of you I guess. You're an incredible singer, you're absolutely adorable whenever you're shy or nervous about something, and the look you get in your eyes when you're excited is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.'

Ok. Wow. Just WOW.

I had goose bumps all over my body at this point and my mouth had gone incredibly dry. Everyone had their dreams, their fantasies, and here was one of mine coming true right before my eyes.

'Blaine, I like you too,' I beamed at him and began to rub my thumbs over the back of his hands. It felt so nice to do that. 'To be honest, I used to think you were a jerk. I tarred you with the same brush as Karofsky, but I still thought you were gorgeous... then after we started hanging out... well it was impossible not to fall for you.'

'Kurt, you've no idea how happy and miserable that makes me at the same time.'

'What do you mean?'

'Happy that you return my feelings... miserable that I can't have you.'

'Wait, what? Who said you can't have me? Blaine I'm yours. I'm _all _yours.'

I pulled my hands free and placed them on Blaine's neck, leaning forwards and crashing our lips together. For just a moment, everything was just perfect. Blaine reciprocated, opening his mouth slightly and I felt the tip of his tongue on my bottom lip. It felt amazing, my whole body was buzzing from the feeling. It felt so right. But then he was gone, getting up from the table muttering 'No, no, no, no, no.'

I stood up too, feeling even more confused than ever. Blaine had his back to me and was doing that neck scratching thing again when he was under pressure. What was going on with him? I thought he wanted this?

'Blaine?' I said quietly but he didn't reply. I heard him sigh instead. So I tried again. 'Blaine, look at me, please.'

Blaine turned around and laughed a little in exasperation. 'I'm sorry.'

'I don't understand.'

'Kurt, I can't offer you a proper relationship. I can't promise to... to...'

'To what Blaine? Never come out? Maybe I don't care.'

'Well you should care, you deserve someone like Josh, who isn't ashamed of who he is.'

'You're not ashamed of who you are Blaine, you've just been brought up by ignorant parents who have too much influence over you right now.'

'I'm s-sorry,' he said again, this time his voice cracking with emotion. 'I don't know what else to say to you.'

'Well what about what I want Blaine?' I whispered. 'Maybe I want to sneak around with you in private... isn't that how our friendship has been anyway?'

'That's different.'

'No it isn't. Blaine please, please don't do this.'

'It has to be this way Kurt, this... us... we can't.'

'Then why the hell did you say all this?' I shouted. 'Why the hell would you tell me that you want me, that you've been interested in me for months and... and just get my fucking hopes up for nothing?'

'I... um...' Blaine mumbled, taken aback by my angry outburst.

'And why did you look so put out when you thought I was going to say I didn't feel anything for you? If you have no intention of being with me, then why the fuck does it matter?'

'Kurt… I…'

'Is this punishment for Josh? I pushed our friendship to the point where you can't handle it anymore, so this is payback time? I had the nerve to find another guy who liked me and you that just won't cut it with you?'

'Of course not.'

'Then why Blaine? _Why_?'

'I don't... I'm sorry...'

'_Why_?'

'I ... I couldn't help it... I'm sorry... you were right there in front of me, running your thumb across my lip... I just couldn't stand it anymore; I had to do something. I had to tell you.'

'So this was all about making you feel better? Knowing you could have me if you wanted?'

Blaine looked incredibly guilty now, but it was of no comfort to me. 'No, it wasn't like that, I swear.'

'So you've got it all off your chest now and fuck what I-I think... a-and feel... and w-want...'

'Kurt please… please don't cry,' Blaine begged, taking a step closer to me. 'I can't bear to see you cry.'

'Well t-tough, because it's all y-your fault.'

'I know it is, I know. I wish things could be different, I really do... but they can't.'

'One night,' I said, blinking back the tears and trying a different tactic to get him to change his mind.

'What?' Blaine frowned. 'One night what?'

'Give me one night. Just one night with you.'

'Kurt,' Blaine sighed, shaking his head.

'Why not?' I asked. 'It doesn't even have to be a night; let's go up to your right room now. You can have me Blaine.'

'Kurt... don't...'

I walked right up to him and lowered my voice to a whisper. 'Take me... please… I'm begging you. Be my first.'

Blaine closed his eyes and then walked away from me quickly. How did he have so much self-control? I groaned in frustration and ran my hands through my hair, messing it all up.

'I'm not going to sleep with you,' Blaine said quietly from the other side of the room, not meeting my eyes.

'You slept with a total stranger last year,' I reminded him and he looked at me now, with wide eyes.

'That's... that's completely... I was drunk, it didn't mean anything, I didn't even know him and I haven't seen him since. You know how much I regret doing that.'

'Well I regret you ever saying anything,' I said, the anger building up inside me again. How could Blaine do this to me? Give me what I want and then snatch it right back again? 'I regret you coming out to me. I regret becoming your friend. I regret falling for you.'

Blaine moved and sat back down in his chair and stared at the kitchen table surface looking completely drained and defeated. 'I hate myself for doing this to you, I'm sorry Kurt… I'm _so _sorry.'

'So you've said,' I shouted. 'Just stay in the fucking closet Blaine and be miserable for the rest of your fucking life.'

'You're better off with me.'

I turned and stormed out of the kitchen but then stopped half way towards the front door and went back. I stood in the doorway and took a deep breath. 'I don't want to see you in Glee Club anymore.'

'Ok,' he replied so quietly I wasn't even sure if he said it or I imagined it. But either way I knew he heard and would comply with my request.

Then I left, slamming his front door closed for good measure. I heard the sound of smashing china as I walked over to my car. No guesses for what happened to our half-drunk hot chocolates then. As though on auto pilot, I got into my car, did my seatbelt up, started the engine and drove off. Less than a minute later I pulled up at the side of the road, cut the engine, dropped my head into my arms over the steering wheel and sobbed my heart out. I don't know how long I stayed there for, crying into my sleeves which were soaked through. Eventually I managed to calm myself down enough to look in the rear view mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and my skin was blotchy.

I couldn't arrive home looking like this; if Dad or Carole saw me they'd start asking me a million questions. I started the engine and turned the radio on, trying to distract my thoughts. I took my phone out from my pocket and froze as it said I had a text message from Blaine. I hadn't even heard it arrive.

_I'm so sorry Kurt. I'll always love you and I hope one day we can be friends again. Blaine xxx_

Love? Had Blaine just confessed to actually loving me, or was it a phrase he didn't think about before typing? I sighed deeply and then deleted the message. Then in a fit of anger I deleted every message I'd ever received or sent to Blaine, finally removing his number from my contacts and throwing my phone onto the passenger seat.

I started driving again, slowly so my face would have a chance of getting back to normal before I got home. I prayed that a fresh wave of tears wouldn't spill out until I was safely looked away in my bedroom. The worst thing about all this? I couldn't even tell anyone. I couldn't cry on anyone's shoulder about it.


	14. Chapter 14

I was sitting in the choir room after school on Thursday. I was so tired and tried to hide my yawns but to no avail. Sam laughed on my fifth one and Artie offered me one of his energy drinks which I declined politely. We were still waiting for most people to arrive and to be honest I really didn't want to be here but the alternative was just being at home, alone with my thoughts. When Mercedes walked in she came over to me, sitting in the next chair. 'Hey.'

'Hey,' I replied.

'So what's up Kurt?'

'Not a lot, waiting for Glee Club to start.'

'I mean what's up with you?' she asked quietly.

'What do you mean?'

'Well you've been pretty glum the past few days. Something's definitely up.'

I shifted a little in my seat. 'There's nothing up.'

I got the Mercedes 'bitch please' stare. 'Kurt?'

'I'm fine, honestly.'

'Hmm.'

'Ok, I'm just a bit tired lately,' I smiled. 'You know I get grumpy if I don't get enough beauty sleep.'

'Oh, late night phone calls with Josh?' Mercedes teased, nudging my shoulder.

'Yeah, something like that,' I laughed.

Oh God, Josh. He'd been texting me quite a bit since our last date at Lima Bean and I'd been politely texting back, however not committing to a day for our next date. Fortunately he was quite busy with a school project helping out a local children's charity, so my lack of enthusiasm probably wasn't registering much.

There was no way I could carry on seeing him and I felt awful. But how should I tell him? Text? Phone? In person? And what would I say; I could hardly tell him the truth. _Hey Josh you know that guy I have a crush on? Well he is actually gay and last weekend we kissed and I practically begged him to take me to bed_. The longer I put it off the harder it was going to get. Josh deserved so much better than me. I still cringed at the memory of throwing myself at Blaine, what was I thinking? And what would I have done if he'd said yes?

I hadn't heard from Blaine since the weekend, not that I had expected to. Although a tiny part of me hoped he would change his mind about us, come and find me and sweep me off my feet like my very own prince charming. Well a guy could dream right? I'd not seen him around in school either and I wondered if he was actually attending or not.

'Wanna grab some coffee after rehearsals?' Mercedes asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

'You're not busy with Sam?'

'Sam and Finn are going to Puck's house to play computer games.'

'Oh right, sure coffee sounds great.'

'Cool, I've got lots of gossip to tell you,' Mercedes replied and I felt a rush of affection towards her. I suppose life wasn't so bad. I had amazing friends, Glee Club and a great family. I should be content. But I wasn't. I wanted Blaine, I wanted him _so_badly it made my chest ache.

Mr Schue came in and frowned as he looked around the choir room. 'No Blaine again? That's the third time, anyone know what's going on with him?'

'I don't think he's been in school,' Finn spoke up. 'He wasn't at football practice yesterday... he might be sick or something.'

'Ok, thanks Finn, I'll check his attendance with the school office. Right guys, regionals is almost upon us... let's get started.'

_Kill me now._

* * *

It was Friday lunchtime. I still hadn't seen Blaine around the school (Maybe he was making an effort to avoid me? Or he really was not bothering to attend?) I have to admit I was slightly worried about him and had I not deleted his contact details from my phone, I may have been tempted to text him.

Also, I still hadn't built up the courage to end things with Josh. I just felt so numb. This time last week I'd had my third date with Josh and was looking forward to spending time with Blaine over the weekend. Now it was all ruined. Just a few weeks ago I didn't know any other gay guy and when two come along I end up losing them both.

I walked into the school canteen to get myself a sandwich when I nearly collided with Finn. 'Dude, glad I bumped into you.'

I narrowed my eyes. 'Why?'

'Rachel said she asked you last night to help out with her regionals solo, but you said no.'

'Yeah that's right. She doesn't need my help.'

'Oh come on, isn't that a bit selfish?'

'How is that selfish?'

'She's trying to include you and you're throwing it back in her face.'

'Finn, she has a solo, a duet and the main role in the group number. She doesn't need anyone's help and she's going to nail it.'

'Well it's hardly fair. Why can't you just do this as a friend? Why do you have to be so difficult?'

'I seriously wonder sometimes if you were adopted,' I sighed.

'What? Adopted? I was adopted?'

'No Finn, I'm just merely pointing out that Carole is too nice to have you as a son.'

'Oh... anyway, so are you going to help Rachel out or not?'

'I already told her no and we discussed my reasons. For the sake of our friendship it's really not a good idea to shove all this regional crap in my face. The same with Tina and Mercedes, we'd all have loved an even a shot at a solo piece but we didn't.'

'Rachel's the star dude; she deserves to be in the spotlight.'

'Maybe so, but it doesn't hurt any less. You know, I can't believe she actually asked you to try and change my mind.'

'Well she thinks... we both think... you're being...'

'What?' I asked as Finn started to look uncomfortable.

'We think you're being a bitch about it.'

_What?_

I laughed and shook my head. 'I'm being a bitch? Really?'

'Well come on Kurt, if it was the other way around Rachel would swallow her pride and help you.'

Er, yeah, she _so _wouldn't. 'You seriously need to shut up now.'

'Huh?'

'God Finn, you're such a jerk. How about showing some consideration for other people's feelings for once instead of being blinded by Rachel? But you just don't think at all do you?'

'Dude, chill man.'

'Don't _"Dude, chill man,"_ me Finn Hudson.'

'Kurt why can't you-'

I walked off, leaving the canteen. That was the last thing I needed, a lecture from Finn of all people. At least I finally had somebody to vent my emotions to. I was getting hardly any sleep since the weekend, breaking down in tears all the time and I was just so angry at the world. How long was this feeling going to last? Maybe it was a good thing I hadn't seen Blaine, seeing him around getting on with things would probably make me even worse.

I went to my locker to get my books for afternoon classes. Before I had a chance to even open it I received a text. I swallowed nervously as I saw it was from Josh. _Hi Kurt. Are you free after school today?_

I sighed deeply. I couldn't put it off any longer, I had to end it. A small part of me really wanted to carry on seeing him, I mean it wasn't as though I didn't like Josh, and he would be a good distraction from Blaine. But that wasn't fair on Josh, not at all.

_Sorry Josh, I've got something else on. Can I call you tonight?_

_Of course. Speak to you later :)_

I put my phone back in my pocket and then stumbled backwards into the lockers as a cold brown liquid was thrown all over me. I wiped my eyes with my hands and looked down to see my clothes and shoes all becoming stained with brown. Then I looked up, and of course it was Karofsky. His friends were standing around and laughing as usual.

'Do you want fries to go with that chocolate milkshake?' someone shouted out, but I didn't see who.

'Oh dear,' Karofsky said with a smirk. 'I don't think that will come out in the wash... what a shame. Daddy will have to buy his little princess a new dress.'

His friends laughed at his pathetic joke. I don't know what came over me, a mixture of rage and exhaustion probably, but I rushed forwards and pushed Karofsky as hard as I physically could in the chest. Not expecting it, he fell backwards landing on the floor. The whole corridor went silent as I stood above him, breathing heavily. It took him a few seconds to get his head around what had happened, and then his face turned red and angry. He got up and charged at me, my back hitting the lockers with a loud bang. The scuffle only lasted seconds until I heard Mr Schue's voice and felt a pair of arms grab me around my waist and pull me away from Karofsky.

'You're dead Hummel, _dead_. I'm gonna kill you,' Karofsky shouted at me as Mr Schue dragged him away.

'Bring it on you homophobic bastard,' I shouted back.

'Kurt leave it,' Mr Schue said. 'I'll talk to you later.'

Mr Schue and Karofsky disappeared around the corner and then I looked around, my breathing quite erratic. All eyes were staring at me. It was then I realised I was still being held and wriggled myself free, turning around.

Blaine.

I gasped slightly and my initial thought was complete relief that he was ok. He had milkshake all over his hands and the sleeves of his top from where he'd been holding me. He looked at me nervously.

'Are ... are you ok?' he asked as all the students started moving and the noise level grew again.

'What do you care?' I laughed.

'Kurt I...' Blaine began to say softly, but then looked away from me and cleared his throat. He'd momentarily forgotten we were in public and in full view of several people who would love to spread gossip that Blaine Anderson was acting gay with the school fag. 'Do you want me to get Finn, or Rachel for you?'

I almost laughed. After the altercation I just had with Finn in the canteen he was not at the top of my list of people I'd want right now. Same with Rachel. I shook my head and then walked away from him, blinking back the tears. I found the nearest bathroom and locked myself in one of the cubicals and broke down. I'd only been in there a couple of minutes when I heard someone come in. I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn't be heard crying. Then I heard taps running and someone else come in.

'Dude, what's with the gunk all over your arms?' Puck's voice said, and it was Blaine who answered him.

'Karofsky threw milkshake all over Kurt.'

I should have guessed it was Blaine who came in after me, he was in a mess too after all. Thank God I'd taken my tears into a cubical. I don't think I could handle Blaine seeing me cry over this. Because all I'd want is for him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be ok.

'What a jerk,' Puck sighed.

'Yeah. Kurt flew at Karofsky and they got into a fight so I had to hold him back.'

'Good for Kurt man, we've got to do something about Karofsky though. Maybe it's time to get him kicked off the football team?'

'I don't think you'll need to.'

'Why not?'

'Well I wouldn't be surprised if he was expelled, a whole corridor of students and Mr Schue heard him threaten to kill Kurt.'

'Jesus, what a maniac,' Puck said.

'Yeah,' Blaine replied. 'Kurt was great though, really stood up to that psycho.'

'Maybe he's in love with him or something.'

Blaine laughed. 'I don't think- I mean, I doubt Kurt goes for guys like Karofsky.'

'No I meant maybe Karofsky's in love with Kurt.'

'W-What do you mean?' Blaine asked, turning the taps off and I was just as baffled as him at what Puck had just said.

'Well you hear about it all the time, closet cases bullying the gay kids who are out because they can't handle their own struggles.'

'Karofsky gay? Hmm... I can't really see it,' Blaine said, voicing exactly what I was thinking. There was about as much chance of Karofsky being gay as there was of me getting a competition solo over Rachel.

'Yeah you're probably right... anyway why have you been missing Glee dude?'

'Oh, um... it's just not for me.'

'Believe me; it's worth it just for the chick action.'

'I've got too much other stuff going on,' Blaine explained, skirting around the 'chick' comment. 'Something had to give.'

'Well that's a shame man, you're missing the opportunity of a lifetime to sway and ooh behind Rachel Berry at regionals.'

Puck and Blaine both laughed. 'I'm sure I'll live.'

When Puck and Blaine had both left a couple of minutes later, I let myself out of the cubical and walked over to the mirrors. I looked a mess, chocolate milkshake all over me and red puffy eyes. I couldn't go to class. I tried as best as I could with paper towels and water to clean my face, then waited until there shouldn't be any students in the corridors and made my way to my car.

As soon as I got home I turned my phone off, stripped my clothing and crawled into bed. But as my head hit the pillow the tears started again and I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I was woken up by the sound of my Dad calling my name from downstairs. I reluctantly got out of bed, put some clean clothes on and went to see what he wanted. Dad was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs looking what I can only describe as _pissed_.

'Why is your phone switched off?' he demanded.

'Because I turned it off,' I replied with a shrug.

'I got two calls from your school today.'

'Oh... right.'

'The first was to say you hadn't turned up for afternoon classes. The second was Mr Schuester.'

'Did he tell you about-'

'Of course he told me. You were being bullied Kurt? Why the hell didn't you tell me?'

'I thought I could handle it,' I muttered.

'Kurt he threatened to kill you for goodness sake.'

'Well that was just today Dad... it was usually just name calling and pushing.'

'I don't care how insignificant you thought it was, you should have told me.'

'Ok, I'm sorry,' I apologised, folding my arms across my chest.

'Did Finn know about all this?'

'Yeah,' I whispered and my Dad shook his head in annoyance.

'Well… are you ok?' Dad asked me after a few seconds of silence, his voice softening.

'I'm fine,' I nodded.

'Well I've got a meeting with Principal Figgins in the morning. Dave Karofsky has been suspended pending an investigation.'

'Good… can I go back to my room now?'

'Sure, but we're gonna talk more about this later ok?'

I nodded and then went back upstairs to my bedroom. I picked my phone up and turned it on. As soon as it came to life I was being notified by text messages, missed calls and voicemails. I figured it was about time I got the inevitable break up conversation with Josh out the way before checking all my messages. I took a few deep calming breaths before dialling his number.

'Hi,' he answered his phone.

'Hey Josh.'

'Are you ok Kurt? I get the feeling you're trying to avoid me.'

'I do need to talk to you about something.'

'Oh?'

'I'm really sorry... I don't think we should date anymore.'

'Ok... can I ask why? Have I done something wrong? Is it because I didn't suck up to your Dad last-'

'No, Josh, it's not that. I like you, I think you're really cute but... it's just the wrong time. I'm not ready to have a boyfriend, there's too much stuff going on.'

'Stuff you want to talk about?'

'Not really... well not yet anyway. I'm sorry.'

'It's ok Kurt, I mean yeah I'm disappointed, but we've only been on a few dates and you did warn me this might happen.'

'I feel so bad, if things in my life weren't so... weird, I'd really like to keep-'

'Hey, don't beat yourself up. We can stay friends can't we?' Josh asked with a hopeful voice.

'Oh... right, of course. But I didn't think you'd want to.'

'I don't know many gay guys, and only have a couple of friends at school who are gay, so I'm not going to turn down the chance to be your friend. We can hang out, go shopping, talk about boys, bitch about school.'

'Yeah that sounds good,' I laughed. 'I really am sorry Josh, I didn't mean to muck you abo-'

'Kurt, don't worry about it, I'll bounce back,' he replied.

We had another couple of minutes of small talk and then I was staring at my phone again (and all the messages waiting for me), feeling low. Would I ever hear from Josh again? Was he just being polite about being friends? I scrolled through my texts first and stopped when I saw one from an unknown number. I'd deleted Blaine's number, could it be from him?

_Hi Kurt, I hope you're ok. I just wanted to say how proud I felt seeing you stand up to Karofsky like that. I know you probably don't feel it right now, but that took a lot of courage. Blaine._

I had to swallow a lump that had formed in my throat and I debated with myself whether to reply or not. In the end I decided it was best not to and deleted the text so I wouldn't be tempted to keep Blaine's number. _Oh Blaine, what have you done to me?_


	15. Chapter 15

It was three weeks since Blaine confessed to liking me. It was two weeks and two days since I officially broke up with Josh. Was I feeling any better about either situation? Not really.

It was Saturday afternoon. Mercedes and Rachel were babysitting together, Dad and Carole were visiting friends for lunch, and Finn was playing football with the guys. Which left me all alone at home with just the tv remote for company. So when Josh text me on the off chance I was free to hang out at the mall I jumped at the chance. Mainly because _Me + Boredom = Thinking about Blaine too much_.

I thought that it might feel awkward seeing Josh again, considering the last time we saw each other was our third date. But I didn't need to worry, we hugged when we met outside the mall and Josh was his usual smiley self.

We looked in a few stores first and I helped Josh pick out a new pair of jeans. Then we went to Starbucks. Josh was getting the coffees whilst I secured us a table. His text this morning was the first I'd heard from him since our phone call, I'd started to think his promise of staying friends had just been out of politeness. I wouldn't have blamed him if he never spoke to me again.

Josh came over to me carrying two cups. He put them down on the table and then sat in the chair opposite me. 'Thanks,' I said, lifting up the cup and taking a sip.

'So, I bet your Dad was pleased when you told him we weren't dating anymore,' Josh smiled.

'Oh, I... never actually told him,' I replied and Josh laughed.

'So he thinks we're still...'

'Yeah,' I chuckled. 'I should probably set him straight.'

'Nice choice of words.'

'Thanks.'

'You know, I'm really sorry about the night we went to the movies. I have parent phobia.'

'Parent phobia?' I smirked.

'Yep, it's a proven medical condition.'

'Right, sure,' I laughed. 'I'll have to google that later.'

'Hey don't mock my illness. You're mean.'

'And you're hilarious,' I said, rolling my eyes at him. 'But seriously, it's not cool to piss off parents. One day you're going to meet a guy you want to be with forever... you don't want the in-laws hating you.'

'You're right,' Josh sighed. 'I promise to work on my _condition_.'

I laughed at him. Josh was a nice guy and really easy to talk to. To be honest we would never have dated very long even if I had decided to carry on seeing him. We were much better as friends. Besides his hatred of marriage was a huge stumbling block, someone was totally going to put a ring on my finger before I turned thirty.

'So how are your parents with the whole gay thing?' I asked.

'Um... well as you know they're divorced, Dad was great about it and said he didn't care. Mom was a bit quiet with me for a few weeks but she's fine.'

I was about to say something when my eyes suddenly caught sight of a guy sitting alone nearby and he was clearly checking Josh out, oblivious to me noticing him. 'Kurt? Hello?'

'Sorry, um, there's a cute guy staring at you.'

'Really?' Josh smiled. I pointed in the general direction with my head and Josh looked over at him. The other guy smiled shyly at being spotted and looked down at his table. 'He's nice.'

'Go and talk to him,' I said.

'Oh I don't know,' Josh blushed.

'Why not? You approached me at Lima Bean.'

'Yeah but... he looks at least two years older than me and I was sure you were gonna say the guy you were with was your boyfriend... I don't know…'

I decided to deal with it myself. Josh had gone all shy and the other guy seemed to have no intention of coming over. Maybe he thought I was his boyfriend? I walked over to him ignoring Josh's whisper of, '_Kurt, what are you doing?_'

'Excuse me... sorry for interrupting your coffee but... I couldn't help notice you looking at my friend just now?'

'Oh... yeah,' he replied quietly, blushing. 'I'm really sorry, are you two a couple or-'

'No we're just friends.'

'Right... I'm actually seriously late for an appointment in town but... can you give this to...'

'Josh,' I told him.

'Josh... I'm Liam.' Liam scribbled his phone number and e-mail address on a napkin and handed it to me. 'I was trying to pluck up the courage to come over… um I've really got to go.'

Liam stood up and waved to Josh, who smiled and waved back. I went back to the table and gave Josh the napkin, telling him the strangers name was Liam. Straight away he keyed the number into his phone and typed out a text. Then he looked dreamily down into his coffee.

'Look at you, you're already smitten,' I laughed.

'Shut up,' Josh said playfully, blushing like mad.

An hour later we were walking through the mall towards the parking lot when Josh stopped and pulled me back suddenly. 'You ok?' I asked.

'Isn't that your friend from school?'

'What friend?'

'The straight guy you've got a crush on,' Josh replied.

My stomach dropped. I scanned the area and then I spotted him. Blaine was standing with another guy, who was talking to him, but Blaine's eyes were fixed on mine. I looked away and carried on walking.

'Oh yeah.'

'Shouldn't we go over and say hello?'

'No, we don't really hang out anymore.'

'Oh right,' Josh frowned, clearly not believing me but not pushing for further information.

Josh and I chatted all the way to his car, mostly about Liam and the texts they'd been exchanging since Starbucks. They'd already arranged to meet up the following day for lunch.

I was quite pleased Josh had been engrossed in his phone as my mind was occupied by Blaine. He looked surprised and angry at seeing me with Josh. I wondered who the guy was that was chatting to him. I didn't recognise him from school. I waved Josh off and then made my way to my own car, stopping dead a few feet in front of it. Blaine was standing by my car. Oh Jesus.

'What do you want?' I said harshly, as I slowly walked up to him. He was blocking the door.

'You're still dating Josh then?' Blaine asked, staring right at me.

'Since when has that been any of your business?' I snapped. I could correct him; I should correct him, after all Josh and I were no longer a thing. But the bitch inside me liked that Blaine thought I was with someone else.

'I... I just thought that after...'

'You thought what Blaine? That I'd be so hung up on you I'd dump Josh and spend every spare moment crying into my pillow?'

'Well no... but-'

'Get over yourself.'

'I just thought... well we kissed and...'

'Josh knows all about it,' I said (lied) and Blaine's eyes widened in fear and my bitch streak wavered slightly. 'Not about you, he thinks it's someone else.'

I could almost see the relief materialise in Blaine's eyes. 'You... you told him that you kissed another guy?'

'Yes.'

'So he's perfectly fine with you kissing other people then?' Blaine asked, a bitter tone evident in his voice. He was jealous, but I really wasn't getting much pleasure from that.

'You make it sound like full on cheating, it was just a bloody peck.'

Blaine took a step closer to me, looking angry. 'No, it was _so _much more than that Kurt and you know it.'

I had to compose myself for a moment. Blaine was so hot right now and all I really wanted to do was grab him and throw him against my car and... oh jesus, take a deep breath. Focus. This is Blaine, who has made you miserable for the past three weeks.

'No it wasn't. It was nothing because _you _chose for it to be nothing. Who do you think you are to lecture me? It's none of your damn business what I do.'

I turned around and starting walking back towards the mall. I could always get a bus home but hopefully Blaine would just walk off at some point. There was no way I was going to force him away from my car, he was too strong for me. Then I felt a hand on my arm and Blaine swung me around to face him, looking apologetic and possibly even a little tearful. I pulled my arm free but didn't move.

'Kurt, I'm... I'm sorry. I had no right to talk to you like that… it's just I saw you two together and… and-'

'What? You didn't like it? Well tough. You wanted it this way so you've got to live with it.'

'I know. I'm sorry.'

I laughed humourlessly and shook my head. 'You know, you could have had me Blaine. I practically gave myself to you on a plate. And now you get into a hissy fit because someone else is in those shoes? You made your choice Blaine, and you have no fucking say in what I can and can't do. So I would appreciate it if you just kept out of my way.'

Blaine nodded and looked to the ground in despair. 'You're right Kurt. I'm being a total bastard and I've hurt you so much already and...'

Blaine trailed off with a sigh and then looked up from the ground. He looked so sad and I didn't want to feel sorry for him so I just turned and carried on walking back towards the mall, trying desperately to hold back the tears I was desperate to shed.

Blaine didn't follow me this time and I was glad as one more look at him and I would have been blubbing like a baby. I wandered aimlessly around the mall for a bit and then when I returned to my car Blaine nowhere to be seen.

However later that night just before I began my bedtime routine, I received a message. _im so srry kurt about earler. blane x_

I stared at the text for almost a minute. Ok, so Blaine was drunk again, that much I knew. Should I reply? To be honest I just wanted to throw my phone at the wall and scream in frustration. I could feel a lump forming in my throat. Before I could talk myself out of it I deleted the text and went to the bathroom.

But by the time I got into bed, there were two more texts from Blaine. I contemplated deleting them without reading, but stupid damn curiosity got the better of me.

_your relly specal kurt i hope u no that. blane x_

_i hope you b hppy with josh. u deserv to b hapy kurt. blanex_

I wanted to laugh, how could he miss the i from his name three times? A small part of me felt bad, guilty, for allowing Blaine to believe I was still dating Josh. But come on, what did I owe Blaine? He came out to me. He said he wanted to be with me. He decided 'us' couldn't happen. He broke my heart.

* * *

Oh My God, it was regionals day. Despite only having one line in our group number I was still super excited. If we made it through, Nationals was being held in LA this year - eeeek! New Directions were up against The Golden Goblets and The Dalton Academy Warblers.

Things with Finn and Rachel were fine again after my argument with Finn in the school canteen. They keep their distance for a few days after but neither has mentioned it since. I wasn't sure whether it was because they concluded I was right and didn't want to admit it or they decided it wasn't worth the hassle to bring it up again.

We were travelling on the bus to our destination and everyone was a little hyper. 'I hope there are some hot chicks in the Dalton Garbles,' Puck said.

Everyone laughed and Puck frowned looking thoroughly confused at us all until Finn explained, 'Dude it's an all-boys school.'

'Oh,' Puck replied sounding disappointed. 'I was hoping for a rich chick you know?'

'I'd settle for any chick,' Artie said and we all laughed.

Santana turned around in her seat to look at me. 'You should get in there Hummel; statistically one of those Warblers must be gay.'

'He's got Josh,' Mercedes (who was sitting by me) reminded her.

'Oh yeah.'

'Guys we're not here to sort your love lives out,' Mr Schue shouted from the front. 'Focus please.'

I reached into my pocket to get my phone to check my messages, even though I knew I would have heard one arrive. Unlocking it, sure enough no new texts. I know I told Blaine last week to keep away but I thought he might have sent a good luck text or something. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part.

We arrived at our destination and all piled into the building. Of course all the girls headed straight backstage to start work on their hair and makeup. Most of the guys were sitting around playing games on their phones. I decided to wander around for a bit before joining the girls when I saw Blaine standing in the foyer, looking around. Initially my stomach flipped over like it always did around him but then I walked over. He spotted me approaching and smiled a little.

'What are you doing here?'


	16. Chapter 16

**BLAINE POV CHAPTER**

* * *

I got home after football practice and went straight to my room. Mom and Dad weren't back yet and I had no idea where they were, not that I particularly cared. I put my iPod into my docking station and turned it on before lying on my bed and staring up at the ceiling.

I saw Kurt today, I was walking to my English class and there he was talking to Mercedes and Tina by his locker. My heart rate always starts racing whenever I see him and this time was no exception. He looked so amazing and flawless and every part of me just wants to be with him 24/7. But as I keep telling myself over and over... _It's for the best... I'm doing this for Kurt... It's for the best... I'm doing this for Kurt._

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone and I picked it up to see a text from my friend Wes. _It was so good hanging out last weekend, can't believe we left it 6 months. Never again pact?_

I laughed. It was pretty bad Wes and I hadn't seen each other for half a year and I guess the whole mess with Kurt was what prompted me to go and hang out with my oldest friend. Wes and I were inseparable as children but then he went off to private school and it became harder to maintain our friendship, although we often communicated via facebook. But no matter what, he would always be my best friend. I sat up on my bed to type out a reply.

_Definitely! If I don't see you at least twice a month from now on I'll be climbing up that tree outside your bedroom and throwing stones at your window!_

_Haha B we both got grounded for a week last time you did that. Good times though. What are you doing this weekend?_

_Nothing planned. The folks sometimes drag me to some last minute function in the evenings though :-/_

_Sounds depressing! I can't believe they still make you go to those. Anyway, we found out today The Warblers are going up against your school's glee club for regionals. Come along? Unless you were already going? We could go for something to eat afterwards._

My immediate thought was that I shouldn't because of Kurt, but to be honest I'd just be another face in the audience and it would be cool to see The Warblers and New Direction's performing, and hang with Wes afterwards. So I found myself texting, _Sure. Sounds fun :)_

* * *

Saturday afternoon and I was at the regionals venue. I went through the entrance and scanned the foyer for any sign of Wes or guys wearing the Dalton uniform but nothing. Then I spotted Kurt walking towards me and my stomach flipped over and my mouth went dry.

'What are you doing here?' he asked angrily when he came to a stop, folding his arms across his chest.

Why did he have to look so hot even when he was cross? I wasn't surprised by his response so I quickly tried to explain. 'Um, a friend of mine, Wes, he's in The Warblers. He asked me to come along.'

'Oh really?' Kurt scoffed after a couple of seconds of just staring at me. I couldn't work out whether he plain just didn't believe me or that he was disappointed I wasn't there purely to support him.

'Yeah.'

'Why can't you just keep away?'

'I'm not trying to annoy you; I'm just here with-'

'With a friend, whatever. This is a big day for New Directions and the last thing I need is you hanging around.'

'You won't even know I'm here, I promise. But if it really bothers you that much I can go if you-'

'Look, forget it. I've got things to do.'

Kurt turned around and stormed off. For a moment I considered going after him but I really didn't want to cause a scene or piss him off even more. I carried on looking around for Wes and then Mr Schue appeared, a coffee in his hand.

'Hey Blaine, what are you doing here?' he asked me with a big smile.

'Oh a friend of mine is in The Warblers and he insisted I come down.'

'Not changed your mind about glee club then?'

I shook my head. 'I'm just really busy with football and personal stuff.'

'Well you're always welcome to come back anytime ok?'

'Thanks Mr Schue, that's really nice of you.'

As soon as Mr Schue walked away I heard my name being called and looked towards the entrance to see Wes standing there. I went over and gave him hug. 'Are you all set for your performance?'

Wes nodded. 'Yeah, we're doing a lot of dancing so our feet will be killing by the end of it. It's all fun though. Would you like to meet my crew?'

'Your crew?' I laughed.

'Yeah. I'm part of the Warbler Council.'

'Oookay, your school sounds really weird Wes,' I said and he just laughed at me. I followed him out of the building to where a group of guys all wearing the same uniform were gathered. Wes cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

'Guys this is my friend Blaine I was telling you about. Blaine this is Jeff, David, Sebastian...'

_Oh god_.

_Shit_!

Time stood still as I stared into the eyes of the guy I lost my virginity to last year. Sebastian quickly caught on too as he was smirking at me with a know it all glint in his eye.

'...and finally this is Nick... Blaine? Blaine?' I forced myself to look back at Wes and plastered on a fake smile. 'You ok?'

'Fine,' I replied. 'I've um... I've left something in my car. I'll come and find you in a minute?'

'Sure, we'll just be inside.'

'Cool.'

I turned away from them all and walked to the parking lot and rushed over to my car with a thumping heart and a sick feeling in my throat. I fumbled with the key in the door with shaking hands when they were snatched away from me. I looked up to see Sebastian staring at me with an amused expression.

'What are you doing?' I demanded. 'Give me my keys back.'

'Chill will you,' Sebastian laughed. 'You can't drive in that state anyway.'

'I'm _not _in a state... please just give me my keys-'

'Calm down, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack.'

'I just want my car keys, they're _my _keys not yours.'

'You're supposed to be watching the performances, not leaving before the whole thing has started.' I stared at the ground, not saying anything and trying to control my breathing. Sebastian continued. 'Look, there's a bench over there. Come and join me when you've stopped freaking out ok?'

Sebastian walked off (with my car keys). I wanted to scream and shout and kick something really hard. I sat myself down on the ground and put my head in my hands. This was _not_ happening, I couldn't deal with this right now. But I had little choice, getting in my car meant dealing with _him_. So after a couple of minutes of panicking and building up the very little courage I had, very reluctantly I got up and went over to sit down on the bench next to Sebastian.

'So why the freak out?' Sebastian asked after a couple of minutes of silence. I guess he thought enough time had lapsed for me to calm down and take part in a normal conversation. But I was still a nervous wreck on the inside.

'I um...' I really didn't know what to say. I stared at my shoes and let out a sigh.

'Oh... you're not out,' Sebastian said, realisation dawning on him. I looked at him now and found myself nodding. But instead of laughing at me or mocking me for it like I had expected, he was looking at me sympathetically. 'Look, Blaine... I'm not going to out you to anyone if that's what you're scared of.'

'You're not?' I asked in disbelief.

'Of course not, why would I?'

'I just thought... I don't know what I thought.'

'Do you know Scandals?' Sebastian asked me.

I frowned. 'The gay bar?'

'Yeah. I go there quite a bit and there's a lot of closet guys at that place. I've heard a lot of stories. If you don't or can't come out that's your prerogative.'

'Thank you,' I said, feeling the relief wash over me. 'So are you... out and stuff?'

Sebastian laughed. 'Yeah, nobody is bothered by it or anything. Well I go to a preppy school and to be honest my parents wouldn't care if I was a smurf. They've got too much going on to give a crap about who I'm sleeping with.'

'Your parents are cool with it then?'

'Yeah. My Dad joked a few weeks ago that if I was straight I would have got a girl pregnant by now. Being gay is the ultimate birth control.'

'My parents are about as homophobic as you can get.'

'That must suck. You're the same age as Wes right? So you must be graduating this year, and once you're away at college it'll be a lot easier to be yourself.'

'Yeah maybe,' I said quietly. It was easier said than done. I just couldn't see past the present at the moment.

'If you want we could um... meet up after the show?' Sebastian suggested and I felt myself blushing as Sebastian looked me up and down.

'I... I don't think that's a good idea,' I whispered.

'Why not?'

'I'm pretty messed up and have a lot going on in my head, I don't want to add any complications to that. I recently fell out with my best friend because things became too... anyway it doesn't matter.'

Sebastian was looking at me carefully. 'Last year when we... that was your first time wasn't it?'

I looked away, feeling embarrassed. 'Yeah it was.'

'I'm sorry your first time was horrible and not something out of a rom com, but for what it's worth you were _really _good.'

'No, no it wasn't horrible,' I said quickly. 'You were... you were great, honestly. In the moment it was... really...'

'Amazing? Out of this world? Yeah I get that a lot.'

We both laughed but I didn't doubt it was true. Sebastian was obviously a player and totally full of himself when it came to sex. 'It was nice Sebastian.'

He smirked at me. 'Nice? Ok.'

'Anyway, I just need to sort myself out before I even think of relationships and stuff.'

'I understand,' Sebastian said, putting a hand on my shoulder. 'But I'm not offering you a relationship, just a bit of fun. So if you ever change your-'

'Blaine?'

Sebastian and I both looked away from each other to see Kurt standing there, watching us with deep curiosity. I immediately jumped to my feet as though being caught doing something really wrong.

'Kurt... hey. Um, this is Sebastian; he's part of The Warblers. Sebastian this is Kurt, he goes to McKinley with me.'

Sebastian stood up and offered his hand to Kurt, who eyed him suspiciously before shaking it. 'Nice to meet you Sebastian.'

'You too Kurt. So are you in New Directions?'

'I am yeah.'

'I'd say good luck today but you know, I'm hoping you guys fail miserably.'

'Likewise,' Kurt replied.

'Anyway, I better be getting back to The Warblers. Nice talking to you Blaine.'

'Yeah, good luck,' I replied and Sebastian began walking away but then turned back round.

'Oh,' he said, digging into his pockets and producing my car keys. He threw them to me.

'Thanks,' I said as I caught them. Sebastian gave me one last smile before leaving.

'Who was that?' Kurt asked as soon as Sebastian was out of earshot.

'Sebastian, he goes to-'

'Dalton, yes I know that Blaine. I saw the way he was looking at you and touching you... what are you two fuck buddies or-'

'Of course not,' I shouted.

'So he's just a random guy you're having a cosy chat with that you only met today and who happens to be eye fucking you?'

'Yes,' I answered instinctively. 'Um... well no.'

'No?' Kurt whispered. I let out a long sigh and sat back down on the bench. Kurt joined me and it took all my strength to look up from the ground and into Kurt's eyes.

'You remember the guy I met last year and we um...'

'How can I forget?' Kurt said and then his eyes widened. 'You mean... _him_?'

I nodded. 'Wes introduced me to all The Warblers and... and there he was.'

'Oh my god,' Kurt gasped. 'Are you ok?'

'Yeah I'm fine. I panicked at first but Sebastian followed me and assured me he wouldn't tell anyone.'

'Well that was nice of him.'

I could detect the sarcasm in Kurt's voice but I was too freaked out and emotionally drained to pick him up on it. 'It was nice. There's nothing stopping him from just telling everyone about me.'

'Would that be such a bad thing?'

I shot Kurt a quick angry look and then stared down at my feet. 'Don't even joke about it.'

'I wasn't,' Kurt sighed. 'So was I interrupting you two? Were you arranging the second round?'

I couldn't help but laugh, Kurt was looking annoyed now. 'No, don't be so ridiculous. Do you really think after everything that's happened I'd suddenly start sleeping around with whoever throws themselves at me?'

Kurt looked away from me. 'I guess not.'

'Like I told Sebastian, I can't even think about dating or... or any of that until I've sorted myself out.'

'Right.'

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, both of us just staring until space. 'We should probably go back in,' I said.

Kurt nodded. We both stood up and started walking back but when we reached the entrance I stopped and lightly touched Kurt's arm, halting him too. He looked at me with tired but expectant eyes.

'Um, what were you doing out here by the way? Were you looking for me or...'

'Yeah um... I just wanted to apologise for earlier,' Kurt said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 'I shouldn't have jumped down your throat like that, it was totally uncalled for.'

'I kinda deserved it Kurt, you don't need to say sorry. I can still leave if you really preferred I wasn't-'

'Oh no, don't leave,' Kurt demanded, shaking his head. 'And the other reason I was looking for you was because some guy called Wes asked us if we knew where you were so um...'

'So you believe me now huh?' I teased and Kurt _almost _smiled.

'Anyway, I better go and get changed.'

'Good luck. I'll be routing for New Directions obviously.'

'Thanks.'

As Kurt walked off my phone beeped from my pocket. When I checked it there was a text from an unknown number. _Hi Blaine, it's Sebastian. I got your number whilst Wes was busy showing off to some girl from McKinley. Anyway, if you ever want to talk or hang out let me know :)_

I put my phone away and went off to find Wes.

* * *

'_Please welcome to the stage, from William McKinley High School... New Directions_.'

I sat up more in my chair at the announcement and smiled as I saw everyone come onto the stage. Despite Rachel and Finn taking centre stage for the majority of the performance, I couldn't take my eyes off Kurt. Even only singing backing vocals and dancing, you could clearly see that he loved what he was doing. His hair was impeccable and his pants so tight I had to cross my legs halfway through the routine.

My cheeks were hurting by the end from smiling so much and I was so proud of him. I felt myself getting choked up; I knew I'd made the right decision by letting him go. He had glee and Josh and deserved to be happy. It wouldn't be long until I was a distant memory.


	17. Chapter 17

Life was somewhat more bearable lately. New Directions were through to Nationals and Karofsky was still being investigated which meant all the bullies didn't dare do anything. Josh and I had been texting constantly, he'd been on a couple of dates with Liam and apparently he was the best thing since sliced bread. I was really pleased for him but also a tiny bit jealous. Well, I was only human.

I was walking out of school to my car on Friday when Blaine caught up with me and nervously cleared his throat. I looked sideways at him for a moment but didn't stop walking.

'What?' I asked.

'I just wanted to say... I'll see you tomorrow... and I promise I won't drink... at all.'

Ok, so now I did stop. My stomach did a little flip as my eyes connected with his. Yep, he was still drop dead gorgeous. I gave Blaine a funny look as though he had sprouted another head. Was he high or something? 'Er... sorry?'

'Tomorrow, my parents function.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about,' I replied.

'Oh... I thought you were coming... with your Dad I mean.'

'No, it's the first I've heard of it. Anyway we're going to a friend's christening tomorrow.'

'Right,' Blaine frowned. 'Sorry, I must have read the guest list wrong.'

'Obviously.'

'Anyway... um, have a nice weekend.'

'Yeah, thanks,' I said quietly.

I carried on to my car, leaving Blaine behind. Thank God my Dad hadn't been invited; I didn't fancy any awkward moments with Blaine in a place alcohol was flowing freely. But on the drive home I started thinking how I knew nothing about the 'baby' that was supposed to be being christened tomorrow. The more I thought about it, the more I started to panic.

As soon as I heard my Dad arrive home, I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where he was making himself a coffee. 'Good day Dad?'

'Not bad kid,' he replied, turning to face me. 'You?'

'Boring as usual... so what's the name of the baby that's getting christened?'

'Um... it's... oh I forgot.'

'Right. Is it a boy or a girl?'

'It's... a girl.'

'Who are the parents?'

'Oh er... John and... Susan,' my Dad muttered, not looking at me.

Oh shit this wasn't looking good at all. 'Dad, what's going on? There is no christening is there?'

'Ok,' my Dad sighed. 'So the christening may have been a little white lie. There's a really big work type do tomorrow night.'

Fuck fuck fuck with a cherry on top. 'Why didn't you just tell us? Why make up a lie about a friend of Carole's having a christening?'

'It's a really formal thing... bow ties, the works.'

'No way Dad,' I said, shaking my head. 'I'm not going. No way.'

'That's exactly why I didn't tell you yet. Kurt, please? This is really important to me. I made fantastic contacts at the last one we went to, bringing in more work for the garage. If we get even a couple of more contracts we could even be looking to expand.'

'I don't understand why it's such a big deal that Finn and I are there?'

'It sets a good example. People want to work with a reliable family man. Mr Anderson's son always attends.'

'Well that's because it's his Dad's do.'

'Actually I thought he might have told you about it, don't you hang out with him now?'

'No,' I replied a little too quickly and Dad's eyebrows shot up. 'We, er... worked together on an assignment for a couple of weeks but that's finished now.'

'Right... well I'm sorry for misleading you but you'd really be helping me out with this buddy.'

'Fine,' I huffed and walked out of the room as I heard my Dad chuckling to himself.

* * *

'I feel like a penguin,' Finn moaned as we walked from the car to the venue where the dreaded do was being held.

'You _look _like a penguin,' I told him.

'Thanks dude,' he sighed.

'We're all in the same boat kids,' Dad shouted from ahead of us where he was walking with Carole. Finn rolled his eyes and I laughed.

Twenty minutes later after several introductions with wealthy looking businessmen, Finn and I were standing awkwardly in a room full of, well snobs. The smell of hundreds of aftershaves and perfume mingling together was nearly making me gag. Finn grabbed two orange juices from a passing waiter and handed me one.

'Thanks,' I said, then took a sip. Finn was scanning the room eagerly. 'What are you doing?'

'Looking for the waiters with food trays, my belly is rumbling.'

'How are you not five hundred pounds?' I laughed but soon stopped when I spotted Blaine walking towards us from the crowd. Fuck, he looked so bloody handsome. My heart skipped a beat and my brain turned to mush.

'Hey dude,' Finn said when he reached us and they did one of those bro-handshaky things guys do. I didn't dare look at Blaine; there was no way I wanted to talk to him.

'I didn't think you guys were coming,' Blaine said in surprise.

'The parents duped us,' Finn explained. 'All week they've been going on about a christening and then they spring this on us at the last minute.'

'That sucks... so not exactly having fun then?'

'You're kidding right? I could be at Rachel's right now instead of here and Kurt... well-'

'Why are you smirking?' I asked Finn. 'And Kurt _what_?'

'I'm pretty sure he spends most evening's skype sexing his boyfriend,' Finn told Blaine.

I nearly choked on my orange juice. '_F-Finn_,' I gasped, coughing. I didn't dream of chancing a glance at Blaine and I knew my face was bright red.

'Sorry dude, but what else would you be doing in your room all night?'

'How about we just stop this conversation,' I said angrily and we all fell into silence until eventually Blaine spoke.

'So... er... Kurt, how are things going with you and um... Josh?' he asked awkwardly.

'Yeah, fine thanks,' I replied quickly. 'Actually I need to use the bathroom, back in a minute.'

I walked away from Finn and Blaine and worked my way through the crowd towards the door, making sure I smiled at anyone who caught my eye, like we were instructed to do. The truth was I didn't need the bathroom; I just wanted to get away. I went to the bathroom anyway and took my time washing my hands with all the various expensive soaps and lotions on display.

When I headed back into the main room, Finn was on his way out and caught sight of me. 'There you are, we're needed in the drawing room apparently.'

'Do people still have those?' I asked and Finn shrugged. 'Where is it?'

'Further down from the bathroom and it's got a plaque saying drawing room, so we shouldn't miss it.'

'So what's this all about then?' I asked as we started walking in the right direction.

'I don't know. Maybe Mom or Burt have had one too many to drink.'

'That would be hilarious,' I laughed.

We reached the correct room, which was slightly ajar and went in. Mr and Mrs Anderson were there and so were Dad and Carole. Nobody was talking and the atmosphere seemed a bit tense. Finn and I looked at each other, wondering what was going on and then Michael Anderson cleared his throat and looked at my Dad.

'An associate of mine overheard your son's talking.'

'And?' Dad shrugged.

'They were discussing _his_...,' Michael pointed at me but was still looking at my Dad. '...boyfriend.'

'I see,' my Dad replied, looking guilty.

'You told me your son wasn't gay. Even when I asked you to confirm it that night you came to dinner, you still assured me he wasn't.'

Huh? What? I stared at my Dad with wide eyes. He closed his own for a moment to collect himself and then opened them again, staring at the floor. Carole wouldn't look me in the eye either and Finn looked as confused as I was.

'Dad?' I whispered.

'God Kurt... I'm so _so _sorry.'

'Flynn is it?' Michael addressed Finn.

'Er, it's Finn.'

'Go and fetch Blaine.'

Finn shuffled out of the room. I could hear my heart beating hard against my chest. So my Dad had denied my sexuality to Mr Anderson? No doubt because he knew or had heard rumours of his homophobic views. My Dad had chosen business over his own son. Everyone was deathly silent. I jumped when the door opened and Finn returned with Blaine.

He surveyed the room, a frown appearing on his forehead. His eyes locked onto mine for just a second before looking at his parents. He put his hands in his trouser pockets and asked, 'What's going on?'

'Blaine, did you know Mr Hummel's son was gay?' Michael demanded.

Blaine's eyes widened slightly, his eyes flicking to me and back again. I could see his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed nervously before answering his Dad in a bored voice. 'Yeah, everyone knows.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' Michael yelled.

'You didn't ask,' Blaine shrugged.

'Don't be a fucking smart arse Blaine.'

'Why does it matter to you if someone else's kid is gay?'

'I do business with Mr Hummel Blaine, of course it matters. It's a disgusting lifestyle; it's indecent, against nature and is an insult to our Lord. I _will not_ have any association with _those _perverted cretins.'

I saw Dad's face redden in anger, ready to retort, but I beat him to it shouting, 'Oh shut the fuck up.'

Michael fixed his eyes onto me for the first time since I came into the room. 'What did you say?'

'You know what I find disgusting Mr Anderson? You and your fucking homophobia. Why don't you stop living in the dark ages?'

'Just look at you, everything about you screams fairy doesn't it?' Michael said to me, his voice full of rage. 'What a disappointed you must have been for your parents. You should have been aborted.'

Both Dad and Finn shouted out at the same time, as Michael moved towards me. They were coming to my rescue but it was Blaine who got there first, grabbing his Dad's arm and pulling him away from me.

'Don't you dare,' Blaine's voice said in a dangerous tone.

'Blaine, get the fuck off me,' Michael shouted, pulling his arm free.

'Think what you're doing Dad, this is insane.'

'Insane? I refuse to be made a fool of by a fucking fag.'

'He's not your son Dad. He's nothing to do with you. If you lay a hand on him, there's at least four people in this room who would be prepared to testify as witnesses to an assault.'

Michael laughed at Blaine and ran a hand through his hair. 'Unless you've failed to inform us your failing math, are you saying you'd testify against your own father for a fucking queer?'

'If you assaulted him... yeah. I know the difference between right and wrong.'

We were all watching in amazement at the conversation going on between Blaine and his father. I chanced a look at Mrs Anderson who had no emotion whatsoever showing in her face. She had her arms folded across her chest and was watching her husband and son as though they were having a friendly chat about the weather.

'Right and wrong?' Michael repeated with a laugh. 'Next you'll be telling me you think people like him should be free to choose a gay lifestyle over a normal one.'

'This is the twenty first century Dad; everyone knows being gay isn't a life-'

'I swear to God almighty if you finish that sentence Blaine Anderson you'll be waking up in intensive care.'

Michael was beyond furious now, breathing heavy and completely red in the face. The rest of us were too shocked by what we'd just heard to say anything. Blaine looked to the floor and sighed, the sound audible enough in the silent room. Then he looked back up at his father and my heart broke as I saw tears in his eyes.

'What like you did with Cooper?'

_Cooper_?!

Blaine's Mom rushed forward from where she'd been standing in the corner and slapped Blaine hard across the face. Blaine brought a hand up to his cheek and let out a humourless laugh.

'Thanks Mom,' he said and then he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Michael looked around at us all.

'Get out of my house,' he said.

'That's fine by me,' Dad replied and he walked up to Michael.

Carole was immediately by his side. 'Burt, don't be hasty.'

'It's ok,' he told her before looking at Michael. 'First of all, I'm _very_ proud of my son. Second of all you should thank _your_ son. If he hadn't intervened and you so much as laid a _finger _on Kurt, I would have broken both your legs.'

'Burt,' Carole warned, putting a hand on Dad's arm. 'Please, let's just go.'

Finn led the way out of the room, and as soon as I was able to start processing what had just happened, I felt unshed tears stinging at my eyes but managed to keep them away, just. Nobody said a thing until we reached the car.

'Kurt... I'm so sorry,' Dad said, holding onto my arm and turning me to face him.

'Just don't even try to explain it to me Dad, I don't wanna hear it... not now.'

'Ok,' he sighed. 'But Kurt please, I love you so much. Don't ever doubt that.'

'We'll talk tomorrow,' I said, not looking at him.

We all got in the car. The journey was mute. Nobody spoke and the radio stayed switched off which was usually unheard of. As soon as we got home both Finn and I headed straight upstairs towards our rooms.

'Dude, are you alright?' Finn asked me as I opened my bedroom door. I turned around.

'Yeah I think so.'

'It should have been me pulling that homophobic bastard back, not Blaine.'

'Don't worry about it Finn, he just happened to be nearer.'

'I guess.'

'Um, could you text me Blaine's number please? I wanna say thanks.'

'Sure,' Finn replied.

I went into my room. Forgoing my pre-sleep routine I undressed and got straight into bed, staring at my phone and wondering what to say to Blaine. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, I just didn't know where to start.

_Thank you for what you did, I know it can't have been easy standing up to your parents like that. I'm so sorry for everything Blaine. I had no idea things were that bad. Kx_

_Why are you apologising Kurt? I'm sorry you had to be on the receiving end of my Dad's pathetic ignorance. You didn't deserve any of that x_

_Are you at home now? Has your Dad said anything to you? I hope he doesn't give you a hard time. Kx_

_Yeah I'm at home. My parents are still at the function, I haven't seen them yet and probably won't until sometime tomorrow. I'll probably get a "lecture" on family loyalty; it's nothing I haven't heard before. Are you ok? x_

_A bit shaken up but I'm ok. I can't believe I never realised what you've had to put up with. I should have been supportive and listened to you. Instead I turned into a selfish bitch. I completely understand why you said no to a relationship. Kx_

_Kurt you had/have every right to be angry at me. I raised your hopes and then shattered them because I was being selfish. I didn't have to tell you how I felt about you x_

_I guess we both screwed up a little huh? I know you said that it was too hard for you to be friends with me, but if you ever need me I'll be there, I promise :) Kx_

_Thanks. You're amazing Kurt :) I hope Josh realises that x_

_Josh and I aren't together. I broke up with him a few days after our talk at your house. There was no way we would have worked. I should have told you, sorry. He's dating a guy named Liam Kx_

_Oh wow. Gosh I'm so sorry I messed things up for you two, I feel so bad x_

_Seriously don't worry about it we're much better as friends :) BTW it's nice to get some coherent texts from you for a change lol. Kx_

_Don't remind me! I'm still cringing from the texts I sent last weekend. You must think I'm a complete freak! x_

_I thought it was pretty cute actually :) Kx_

Ten minutes had elapsed since I sent the last text. Blaine hadn't replied. Had I overstepped by saying he was cute? Had he fallen asleep? I put my phone down on my bedside table and was about to make myself more comfortable under my duvet when my phone beeped again. I snatched it up and was surprised by what Blaine had replied with.

_I need to see you Kurt. I can't do this over text x_

_Can't do what? Kx_

_Exactly, I have to SEE you. Please say yes x_

_Ok. Do you want to meet somewhere tomorrow afternoon? Kx_

_I mean I want to see you NOW x_

_I don't know if I can get away. Kx_

_You can think of something, please. I'll be at the Lima Bean parking lot in twenty minutes. I'll wait for you but I'll understand if you can't make it, as they say there's always tomorrow x_


	18. Chapter 18

I took one last look in my bedroom mirror, took a deep breath and then walked down the stairs, praying this would work. I stopped at the living room entrance where Dad and Carole were sitting together watching the news in silence. I cleared my throat and they both turned to look at me.

'Um...'

'Do you want to talk?' Dad asked eagerly.

'No, I just wanted to tell you I'm going to Mercedes's house.'

'Kurt, it's a bit late to be going out.'

'Burt,' Carole said quietly and they shared a look.

'After the night I've had... I need to be around my friends Dad. I shouldn't bottle up my feelings and wallow in my room all night, so please don't try and stop me from going to see Mercedes.'

'Why can't you talk to me? Kurt I need to explain-'

'Like I said earlier, I... I can't do this now. I don't want to say anything I might regret.'

'Ok... ok. But... let me know when you'll be back or if you're staying over.'

'I will... thanks.'

I walked out of the house and got into my car. My stomach had butterflies. What did Blaine need to say that couldn't wait until tomorrow? Was this even a good idea? Meeting Blaine just after what happened with his parents? What if he was drunk? He's driving, so he can't be drunk... can he?

'Get a grip Hummel,' I said aloud and then started the engine.

Fifteen minutes later I pulled up outside The Lima Bean. It seemed odd coming here with everything locked up and nobody around. I took a few deep steadying breaths to calm my nerves and then got out.

My eyes immediately found Blaine who was walking towards me from across the parking lot. I don't know why but I started running. Blaine stopped moving and waited for me. When I reached him we instantly hugged each other, holding on tight. I wanted to cry, but managed to hold it back, I didn't want Blaine to see how much his father's words had really hurt me. I rested my chin on Blaine's shoulder and heard him sigh into the hug as though he was somehow coming home.

'I'm so sorry Kurt,' he whispered.

'I'm sorry too,' I replied.

'I wish I could have done more to protect-'

'Shhh, don't go feeling guilty on me. It's not your fault.'

Blaine pulled back from the hug to look at me. We were still holding onto each other and I stared into his gorgeous eyes. They were displaying so much emotion in them, and now I was up close could see they were red and swollen. It broke my heart to know that Blaine had been crying. It was so unfair he had to live with such horrible parents who didn't deserve him as a son.

'You were amazing tonight,' Blaine smiled. 'The way you were so proud of who you are and... god you're just so perfect.'

I don't know who initiated it, who made the first move, but suddenly we were kissing as though our lives depended on it, and it felt _so_ fucking good. Blaine rested his hands on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. I placed my hands either side of his neck and gasped a little as Blaine's tongue pushed its way into my mouth. All coherent thought left my brain, all I could think about were these soft lips moving against mine and the tongue running along the roof of my mouth, sending shivers all through my body. _Fuck_.

I never wanted this to stop but knew that the basic function of needing to breathe properly was soon going to hit us. So a few seconds later Blaine's tongue left my mouth and he pulled back ever so slightly, our lips almost still touching and our hands still holding onto one another. He rested his forehead against mine as we both breathed deeply.

'W-wow,' I panted and Blaine giggled quietly but then he let out a huge sigh.

'We... we shouldn't be doing this,' he said, sounding completely dejected.

'Blaine don't,' I begged.

'Kurt you know we shouldn't-'

'Why not?' I interrupted, circling my thumbs on the soft skin of his neck.

'You know why,' Blaine replied sadly, but the way he shivered slightly at my touch was ruining his argument.

'I don't care about your Dad.'

'But he-'

'Look, Blaine... I mean it. He's just a nasty homophobic arsehole. I'm not going to carry on being miserable just to please someone like him and if we have to keep us a secret then so be it. You're _more _than worth it Blaine and it's literally killing me not having you.'

'No... Kurt, we... we can't,' Blaine tried to protest, but not very convincingly as he brought his hands up from behind me to run them through my hair. He pulled his head back further and looked into my eyes. I could see unshed tears and my heart melted.

'Blaine forget your parents for a minute. Forget everyone. What do you want?' I paused to place a hand over Blaine's heart. 'What does your heart want?'

'You,' Blaine said quietly, smiling a little.

'Then this... us... it's happening ok? I won't take no for an answer this time.'

'Are you always this stubborn?' Blaine smirked.

'Just one of my many charms,' I smiled.

'I'm- I'm scared Kurt... if my Dad finds out... I think he's capable of just about anything. I don't want to put you in any danger. I'll never forgive myself if-'

'Well tough, if he finds out... we'll just figure something out at the time. My Dad and Finn would probably relish the chance to get revenge on him. Anyway, you'll be eighteen in a few months and then you can leave home and come and live with me.'

Blaine laughed and raised an eyebrow at me. 'You haven't seen my morning hair; you might change your mind once you witness that.'

Oh my god, the thought of seeing Blaine's Bed Hair sounded so adorable, and was also a hell of a turn on. A sleepy Blaine with a naked chest and messy curly hair in _my_ bed? _Oh fuck_. Yeah that was um...

'Er, Kurt?' Blaine said.

'Hmm?' I replied automatically, pulling out of my thoughts.

'You er... were on another planet just then.'

'Oh sorry,' I blushed and Blaine leaned forwards to plant a light kiss on my lips.

'Let's go and sit in my car,' Blaine said, taking my hand and leading the way across the parking lot.

We climbed into the back seats, not letting go which was a little awkward but I didn't care, Blaine was holding my hand, he'd kissed me, and it was taking all the will power I had not to start shouting about it from the rooftops. I closed the door with my free hand and we turned towards each other, knees touching, sharing timid smiles. Blaine looked down and sighed.

'Are you ok?' I asked and Blaine lifted his head up to look at me.

'Would it be... wrong of me to describe this as... bittersweet?'

'Blaine I... I know this situation isn't ideal. I mean, I've got so many emotions running through me right now, but I feel... no I know everything will be alright in the end because... I've got you. That's all that matters.'

'But... but my parents... Kurt, I can't help worrying that... maybe it's better if we just-'

'Hey,' I interrupted, squeezing Blaine's hand. 'Don't get worked up. We've been through that... you're not going anywhere Mister, and I _will _run after you.'

'You'll ruin your shoes,' Blaine smiled.

'I don't care. You can buy me some new ones once I catch you.'

Blaine laughed and then looked at me, his eyes moving to take in every detail of my face. It felt nice, as though he was trying to memorise exactly what I looked like. Then I wondered if he was searching for any sort of doubt, any excuse to back out of this.

'Blaine, there will come a time when we can walk into crowded room, holding hands... and introduce each other to people as "my boyfriend" but until then, and in the meantime, I just want to enjoy you as much as I can. That's all I want.'

'Me too,' Blaine replied, looking emotional.

'So um...' I whispered, leaning closer to Blaine. I could smell his aftershave and it was making me a little giddy. '...was this the reason you wanted to see me so urgently? To kiss me and stick your tongue down my throat?'

'W-what?' Blaine gasped, blushing adorably. 'You kissed me first; I merely... carried it on. I was being polite.'

'No way, you initiated it.'

'I'm not taking the blame for this.'

'Well you brought tongue into it.'

'Yeah, but... ok I'll you that one.'

We were laughing and then I had a sudden, overwhelming urge, to kiss him again. I wanted to remind myself that this was real. I mean, it was only fair to double check this wasn't a dream right? So I moved forwards and saw Blaine's eyes light up before closing my own and claiming his lips. This time it was slower and not as needy as the first kiss. Our hands came apart as we both held onto each other, exploring, tasting, and feeling. It seemed so strange that we hadn't been doing this for years, it felt so natural and so perfect. We pulled apart after a few minutes, gazing into each other's eyes.

'You... um... definitely initiated that one,' Blaine smiled at me, his cheeks flushed.

'Guilty,' I replied, biting my bottom lip.

'Fuck, you're so adorable,' Blaine said with a contented little sigh, making me feel all warm and fuzzy.

'So what was the reason?' I asked, lacing my fingers through his, desperate to be touching some part of him.

'Oh... I didn't really have a reason,' Blaine shrugged. 'I just had to see you.'

I rolled my eyes at him. 'I was thinking all sorts on the drive over and you didn't even have a real reason?'

Blaine smirked at me. 'Regretting coming here are you?'

'Well no but-'

'See? It's all good.'

'You are completely ridiculous Blaine Anderson,' I smiled.

'Well that's all your fault.'

'Oh really?'

'Yeah,' Blaine replied, taking one of my hands in his. 'Just being near you makes my brain shut down and act all kinds of crazy.'

My heart swelled with pride. 'I make you feel like that?'

'Of course you do,' Blaine said quietly and then he looked down at our hands. 'Kurt, how are you feeling... you know, after everything my Dad said?'

Well that was a big shift in conversation. I didn't want to lie to Blaine, but I didn't want to upset him either. 'Um… it's nothing I haven't heard before, but I... I'm used to hearing it from other kids, not from fully grown adults in the presence of my family. It was a bit of a shock.'

'I'm really sorry Kurt. I was _so _mad, if he'd have-

'It's ok,' I said softly. 'I'm ok and most importantly, we're ok. You stuck up for me and you protected me despite knowing you would make him angry. I'm so proud of you for that.'

Blaine shook his head. 'Don't be proud of me Kurt. I'm too scared to tell my own parents I'm into guys. I'm a coward.'

'No you're not. Seriously Blaine, before tonight I did think you were probably being a little over dramatic about the whole coming out thing, but I don't blame you whatsoever for wanting to keep it a secret and I would do the same if I was in your shoes.'

Blaine rolled his eyes. 'You're just saying that.'

'No I'm not,' I said loudly and Blaine looked at me, he so resembled a lost little boy and I just wanted so badly to protect him and make him happy. 'Tonight is the start of a new life for us. At first it might not be so easy, but it'll get better and we'll always have each other, no matter what.'

'That sounds perfect, let's hope the future will be bright.'

'It will be,' I whispered. 'I promise.'

'Can I just say that you looked _really _hot in your suit this evening,' Blaine teased, flirting with me. I decided that flirty Blaine was cute as fuck.

'I thought the same thing when I saw you walking towards Finn and me. You really are gorgeous Blaine, next to you I look like a pale-'

'Oi, don't,' Blaine interrupted me, sounding a little annoyed. 'Kurt, you're stunning. I could stare into your eyes all day long, they're incredible. You're amazing, you're cute, you're adorable... and I'll say it to you a hundred times a day if I have to in order for you to believe me.'

'You don't have to do that,' I laughed. 'Ten times a day will be just fine. You know, I wish I could just... I don't know, take you home now and keep you locked away forever with me.'

'Kinky,' Blaine smirked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I blushed like mad. 'Oh god... I didn't mean it like-'

'Did you hear me protesting?' Blaine whispered, gazing at me intently. I laughed nervously and licked my lips which had suddenly become incredibly dry. Blaine gave me another suggestive look. Fuck was I going to turn into a complete mushy mess every time he looked at me like that?

'What I mean is, I don't want you going back to that house Blaine.'

'I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm the least of my parent's problems. They hardly notice me most of the time.'

'That... that's just so wrong.'

'Don't feel sorry for me, it's not as though I've known any different. It's normal for me.'

'I wish you had a father like mine.'

'Me too… I've made a promise with myself that when I have a child; I'm going to be the best Dad ever. You know, really hands on. No matter what, I'll attend every school meeting… every sports day...'

'You... you want kids?' I whispered and Blaine blushed, realising what he'd said.

'Oh, um... yeah someday... maybe... I don't know,' Blaine mumbled.

'Blaine, you are so sweet. You'd make a great Dad. I can't believe someone as amazing as you came from those two monsters... oh god, sorry, I shouldn't have-'

'Don't worry,' Blaine laughed. 'Call them what you like, you're more than entitled to. Anyway they didn't really raise me; I had Nannies literally from the day I was born.'

'Um... Blaine... who's Cooper?'

Blaine looked uneasy for a moment before a look of anger showed on his face. He shook his head. 'My brother.'

'You've got a _brother_?'

'Yeah, he's twenty four. I haven't seen him for five years.'

'Wh- Five years? Why?' Blaine gave me a desperately sad look. 'Oh… your parents?'

He nodded. 'Coop came home for a visit after his first year of college. He told my parents he was pulling out and moving to LA to try his luck as an actor.'

'They didn't take it too well?' I asked, already knowing the answer.

'No. Dad hit him so hard he fell and smashed his head on the kitchen counter... he was in a coma for three days.'

'_Oh my god_,' I gasped, gripping Blaine's hand. If he could do that to Cooper just for giving up on college, what would he do to Blaine when he found out his other son went against everything he believed in?

'They were glad Kurt, said he deserved it. About a week later I overheard my parents saying Cooper had discharged himself from hospital.'

'And there's been no contact since?'

Blaine sighed. No.'

'There must be some way of finding him, maybe we should search on facebook or-'

'Oh I know how to find him,' Blaine interrupted, laughing a little.

I was confused. 'You do?'

'Yeah. You know that annoying guy on the credit rating commercials?'

I frowned at the obscure question but then it hit me and my eyes widened. '_That's _your brother?'

Blaine nodded. 'Wow… I mean… surely you can contact him through his agent or something?'

Blaine looked at me as though I'd gone mad. 'Why should I? _He _was the one that left. I'm still in the same house; we still have the same phone number.'

'I'm sorry,' I said softy. 'You're angry at him and I understand that.'

'Maybe he just didn't care,' Blaine shrugged. 'Maybe he was more like our parents than I ever will be.'

'You don't know that Blaine. There might be a perfectly good reason as to why he's never been in touch.'

'Can we talk about something else now,' Blaine whispered, looking drained.

'Ok,' I smiled. But I wasn't going to drop it forever. Blaine had a brother and I had a suspicion that all was not as it seemed with his disappearance. Blaine was used to being let down and treated like dirt, it was too easy for him to label his brother with the same brush as his parents. 'Um, Blaine?'

He looked up and me and smiled. He was so adorable. 'Yeah?'

'I want to run an idea by you.'

He narrowed his eyes. 'Ok.'

'I... I want to tell my Dad about us.'

'What?' Blaine gasped. 'Kurt, I really don't think-'

'Just hear me out ok?' I said calmly, looking into Blaine's panic stricken eyes. He nodded and I squeezed his hand.

'I think it would be good... well responsible for someone to know, and... there's nobody I trust more than my Dad. I want to be able to spend time with you, not catching moments together at ungodly hours in parking lots.'

'You... you want me to come to your house?' Blaine whispered and I nodded.

'Finn goes out a lot, to Puck's, out with Rachel... and if my Dad knows about us and Finn is around he'll be able to help us... I don't know, sneak you out? You could park your car down the road. I mean, Finn would keep his mouth shut even if he did know, not that I want him to.'

'I don't know Kurt,' Blaine said quietly.

'Unless you agree I won't say anything, but... I really think we should.'

'I see where you're coming from and I... it's just...'

'What are you worried about Blaine? My Dad wouldn't tell anyone, I swear.'

'No, it's not that, I just... I don't want to be a disappointment to him.'

'What do you mean?' I frowned.

'Well, it's hardly what he'd have wanted for you... to secretly date the closeted son of an extreme homophobic. At least Josh was out and proud with no baggage.'

'My Dad knows you're nothing like your parents. We all saw how you went up against him for me... and anyway he didn't even like Josh.'

'Oh god what's he going to think of me then?' Blaine sighed.

'He didn't like Josh because he thought he was... well, rude.'

'Was he?'

'Sort of. He said he was really nervous about meeting my Dad and came across quite abrupt and indifferent... anyway, I know he'll like you. You're so...'

'What?'

'You know... dapper. Gentleman like. Charming.'

'Is that what you think of me?' Blaine laughed.

'I could go on if you like? Sexy. Gorgeous. Goofy. Silly. Cute... but they're not the kind of words I want my Dad associating you with.'

'Hmm, dapper and charming it is then,' Blaine agreed with a smile.

'So what do you think?' I asked carefully. 'Do you want to think about it or-'

'Ok,' Blaine nodded. 'Let's tell your Dad.'

'Really? Are you sure?'

'I'm sure. My main priority is keeping you safe after all.'

Blaine leaned forward and kissed me. A few seconds later he pulled back and gave me the sexiest look, biting down on his bottom lip. Could he be any more perfect? 'Would you be able to come over to my house tomorrow afternoon?'

'That soon?' Blaine giggled nervously.

'Oh sorry, I just thought-'

'No, no it's ok. The sooner the better I guess.'

'It's going to be alright you know, I promise you,' I said softly and Blaine smiled at me.

'I should be getting back,' Blaine said quietly. 'My parents might start asking questions if they arrive home to see my car gone.'

'Ok,' I sulked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

'Oh come on Kurt, you can't give me looks like that. How can I leave when you're looking so freaking cute?'

'Don't leave then,' I whispered.

'Jesus, I can't believe I convinced myself I could keep away from you. These past few weeks have been a nightmare.'

'Oh really?' I smirked and Blaine laughed.

'So you're glad I've been suffering?'

'Just a little bit,' I admitted.

'I was so jealous you were dating Josh, I was wishing all kinds of terrible things on him.'

'Poor Josh,' I laughed. 'It was always you though Blaine. I thought dating Josh would help me to get over you or something.'

'I'm glad you didn't,' Blaine replied.

'I bet you are,' I teased. 'Kiss me before I go.'

Blaine's hand left mine as he grabbed my face and kissed me hard, his tongue diving straight into my mouth. It was a desperate and passionate kiss, as though we might never get to do this again. But this was only the beginning; Blaine will never be able to get rid of me now. He pulled back and looked into my eyes.

'I'll see you tomorrow then,' Blaine whispered.

'O-ok,' I replied, my brain officially mush.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

**OMG! Klaine is official!**

**Thoughts pretty please? :)**

Heeheehee I was only kidding, it's not really the end :P But it is the end of the will they / won't they be getting together drama. Klaine forever! Or will Blaine bottle it at some point?! Hmm...! But there's still lots of stuff to come and I'm sure you can guess what some of it might be. Next up will be Burt finding out (EEEK!) Thank you so much for the responses to chapter 17 and Blaine's nasty parents (grrr!) I can't tell you how much it means to get your reviews and hear people are actually enjoying my rubbish. It's the best feeling, keep it up :)

_Nightingale63_, _missjayne76_, _NaieBlack_: Poor Coop and Blaine :( We all know that Kurt will do some meddling and contact Cooper though haha ;) Maybe there will be a perfectly good explanation…? _lchlava_: I'm glad you can sympathise with Blaine's family life, but you're right, Kurt still had every right to be upset. If only Blaine was more honest at the start eh? Haha. _foreverklaine_: Hahahaha, nicely put, Mr Anderson can go and fuck himself! Yep Glee should be more like the Klaine show! I'm surprised it's survived this season as 1-3 was basically the Finchel show. _Klaineforeverandever3_: I fully support you using your ninja skills on Blaine's Dad. He deserves it! _acciojubjubbird_: I can't stop laughing when I see 'Jam' such an awesome couple name!


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